Just need to share

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by tryingtobestrong, Apr 26, 2019.

  1. Just need to share this and get some feedback. Son had relapsed bad and missed 2 months of work. Was able to keep his job due to the Am. Dis. Act and short term disability. During the time off he was able to get paid 60% of his pay. At no time did we help him with his bills. I refused to help when he did ask at the beginning and then he didn't ask again. So he did finally go for 2 weeks of treatment from 9-3 M-F..
    Told me it was a good fit for him and he liked it. Also had said he wanted to go to a young peoples in AA convention in a month and did ask if we would split the cost of the room since it was for recovery and we did agree.
    This morning he sent me a text regarding a prescription that our insurance would not cover and was upset over the cost. At that time he told me how much debt he has accumulated. Also said that he is working a lot of Occupational Therapist (OT) this week which I replied was good and will help with his bills. I then just mentioned that he also knows he needs to work on his recovery and to make sure he was going to meetings, etc. I asked about his convention that was coming up and he said he cancelled it due to the cost....

    I am fearful that he is not going to meetings or seeing his sponsor. I am fearful that he is not going to any other treatment that he will be held accountable like Out patient or a life coach that drug tests.

    If he got in a bind with a prescription, I would want to help but is is okay to say "If I knew if you were in a treatment program and being held accountable, i would help but as of now I don't have a clue if you are sober or not?" Just not sure how to word it. I would not help with anything else but a prescription.

    Just thoughts please. I have come a long way but still scared. I know it is his path to walk. I know I can't make him sober. I know helping him with bills won't help either- done that and got no where. So, I am just looking for something to say that if he was in a program and was held accountable then possibly we would help with prescriptions. I know he is on antidepressants and some other ones.
     
  2. BusynMember

    BusynMember Member

    " I will be happy to help pay your prescriptions if I call treatment and hear you are doing well!"

    So easy for me to tell others what to say to their kids when I dont know what to say to my own!
     
  3. elizabrary

    elizabrary Active Member

    I can't remember if he is near you or not. If he is near you I would agree to meet him at the drug store and help pay for the prescription. If he is not I would offer to call the drug store and give them your credit card number. I used to do stuff like this with-my daughter when I wasn't sure what was going on with her. I would either pay for something directly or call the place with-my credit card number. I NEVER gave her cash. It gave me peace of mind knowing that I was paying for what she actually told me she needed the money for and it avoided conflict where I was in a position of questioning her and she became defensive. Good lord, the ridiculous things we have to do with these kids. Good luck. I hope he is still sober.