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Parent Emeritus
Just need to vent to people who understand what I'm going through
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<blockquote data-quote="mtic" data-source="post: 658949" data-attributes="member: 18623"><p>It’s been a while since I posted (not that I posted a ton in the past though). Guess I just need to type some stuff out and know everyone here will understand.</p><p></p><p>My husband and I kicked our son out in December. He had stolen from us (and his sister) several times and when I found checks missing and forged that was the end for me. He had also stolen from a company he worked for and had a court date for that. He had to pay restitution, do community service, and is on unsupervised parole now. </p><p></p><p>After we kicked him out, Difficult Child moved in with some guys he knows and has been living there since. A friend Difficult Child made at a prior job has been really trying to help him (giving him rides, helping him get to job interviews, etc). This friend kind of took over the role of my husband and myself. I was hoping that a peer telling him all the same things would help it sink in better, but of course it hasn’t. He’s lied and manipulated that friend the same way he did us. </p><p></p><p>I just found out through this friend that Difficult Child has been stealing change from the guy he’s living with. He has some jobs doing landscaping and bussing for money under the table, and I heard he was making decent money. So, I’m sure he’s spending the money on pot, cigarettes, and lottery tickets. The guy he's living with won't press charges, probably because it's only change, but I know Difficult Child will start stealing more from him. Hey, he did it to his very own family!</p><p></p><p>My son doesn’t have much contact with us, and that’s a good thing. I'm sure most people without DCs would be horrified by my being happy not hearing from my Difficult Child. We tried to have somewhat of a relationship, but he’s still lying and trying to con money out of us. For example, I had $80 for him from family members for his birthday. That $80 was going to finish paying off his restitution. I told Difficult Child I was giving that money to his friend (the responsible one) to hold. Difficult Child comes by a couple days later telling me a story how the friend wanted me to give Difficult Child the money. Of course I didn’t believe a word of it and refused to give him a dime. I contacted the friend who said everything Difficult Child said was all false. That friend is now done with him so I probably won’t hear anything else from Difficult Child…actually I’m happy about that.</p><p></p><p>I need to move on with my life and let my son make his own decisions. I’ll be really surprised if he doesn’t end up in jail someday. When he was still living at home we had him seeing a therapist and going to AA and NA meetings, but he just went through the motions and lied about everything. I can’t trust a word that comes out of his mouth. </p><p></p><p>Guess I just needed to vent here a bit. My husband and I are dismayed and hurt by everything Difficult Child has put us through, but we go on, keep busy, and lead a pretty enjoyable life. We know we can’t let Difficult Child drag us down. Thanks for “listening.”</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mtic, post: 658949, member: 18623"] It’s been a while since I posted (not that I posted a ton in the past though). Guess I just need to type some stuff out and know everyone here will understand. My husband and I kicked our son out in December. He had stolen from us (and his sister) several times and when I found checks missing and forged that was the end for me. He had also stolen from a company he worked for and had a court date for that. He had to pay restitution, do community service, and is on unsupervised parole now. After we kicked him out, Difficult Child moved in with some guys he knows and has been living there since. A friend Difficult Child made at a prior job has been really trying to help him (giving him rides, helping him get to job interviews, etc). This friend kind of took over the role of my husband and myself. I was hoping that a peer telling him all the same things would help it sink in better, but of course it hasn’t. He’s lied and manipulated that friend the same way he did us. I just found out through this friend that Difficult Child has been stealing change from the guy he’s living with. He has some jobs doing landscaping and bussing for money under the table, and I heard he was making decent money. So, I’m sure he’s spending the money on pot, cigarettes, and lottery tickets. The guy he's living with won't press charges, probably because it's only change, but I know Difficult Child will start stealing more from him. Hey, he did it to his very own family! My son doesn’t have much contact with us, and that’s a good thing. I'm sure most people without DCs would be horrified by my being happy not hearing from my Difficult Child. We tried to have somewhat of a relationship, but he’s still lying and trying to con money out of us. For example, I had $80 for him from family members for his birthday. That $80 was going to finish paying off his restitution. I told Difficult Child I was giving that money to his friend (the responsible one) to hold. Difficult Child comes by a couple days later telling me a story how the friend wanted me to give Difficult Child the money. Of course I didn’t believe a word of it and refused to give him a dime. I contacted the friend who said everything Difficult Child said was all false. That friend is now done with him so I probably won’t hear anything else from Difficult Child…actually I’m happy about that. I need to move on with my life and let my son make his own decisions. I’ll be really surprised if he doesn’t end up in jail someday. When he was still living at home we had him seeing a therapist and going to AA and NA meetings, but he just went through the motions and lied about everything. I can’t trust a word that comes out of his mouth. Guess I just needed to vent here a bit. My husband and I are dismayed and hurt by everything Difficult Child has put us through, but we go on, keep busy, and lead a pretty enjoyable life. We know we can’t let Difficult Child drag us down. Thanks for “listening.” [/QUOTE]
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