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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Just need to vent
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 762508" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi. I am sorry. This is very hard. </p><p></p><p>It took me ten years to stop enabling my daughter with everything from a house to three cars, rent payment, etc. It almost ruined our marriage. My husband is her actual father but he got tired of giving so much without her doing anything to change. And she guilted us too and was disrespectful and even abusive.</p><p></p><p>I would be wondering how your son will pay back his loan. If he wanted to do better, why did he not use it more wisely? Maybe think of this before you give him anything. How do you know he will use it like he says he will? I know you want to believe him. We did too.</p><p></p><p>I can't tell you what to do but I can tell you what I did. I went for therapy and to NarAnon and saved my marriage and stopped enabling my daughter. It worked well for us. Like your son, my daughter kept telling us she was going to do this and that. In time we realized her promises always tied in with a request for money. </p><p></p><p>My husband has been the one to stand by me, right or wrong, for all these great and difficult years. I am glad we went for help and were able to come together. </p><p></p><p>I do understand how your husband feels as mine felt the same way.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 762508, member: 1550"] Hi. I am sorry. This is very hard. It took me ten years to stop enabling my daughter with everything from a house to three cars, rent payment, etc. It almost ruined our marriage. My husband is her actual father but he got tired of giving so much without her doing anything to change. And she guilted us too and was disrespectful and even abusive. I would be wondering how your son will pay back his loan. If he wanted to do better, why did he not use it more wisely? Maybe think of this before you give him anything. How do you know he will use it like he says he will? I know you want to believe him. We did too. I can't tell you what to do but I can tell you what I did. I went for therapy and to NarAnon and saved my marriage and stopped enabling my daughter. It worked well for us. Like your son, my daughter kept telling us she was going to do this and that. In time we realized her promises always tied in with a request for money. My husband has been the one to stand by me, right or wrong, for all these great and difficult years. I am glad we went for help and were able to come together. I do understand how your husband feels as mine felt the same way. [/QUOTE]
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