Just new here - saying "Hi"

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Asheilah, Sep 29, 2007.

  1. Asheilah

    Asheilah New Member

    This is my first time here and it is really good to know that there are other people out there feeling the same way that I am. Sometimes it feels like nobody else in the entire world could possibly understand what this feels like. Some good days and some bad days and some worse than others. Today is just a bad day so I'm glad to have somewhere to go to feel a little more normal. Just hoping that I can also share some good days too.

  2. jannie

    jannie trying to survive....

    Wecome !! I love your avatar !! Please tell us a bit more about your teen so that we can better help you and provide support. We definately can relate to your troubles !!
  3. Asheilah

    Asheilah New Member

    Let me start by saying that this is really my first time talking to anyone outside of a doctor or my husband about this, so it is really not that easy - as I'm sure you can all relate to.
    My daughter is 15, going on 30, and was diagnosed with ODD about 3 years ago. It seems that about this time every year, she seems to go through a bad spell. Compared to the way that she was 3 years ago before her diagnosis, today is about 1000% improvement. But every now and then she seems to take a turn for the worse and just has some major setback. She refuses to talk to me about it, but chooses to just yell instead. Thinks the whole world is against her, feels totally abnormal but is very resistent to any sort of help.
  4. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Is your daughter on any medications? What kind of doctor diagnosed her? Is it possible that school causes her anxiety and depression, and that's why this time of year is more difficult for her?

    Just so you know, ODD is generally not a stand-alone diagnosis but a decription of behaviors that is fueled by an underlying cause. Once the underlying cause is identified and treated, the ODD behaviors typically subside.

    Welcome! You will find a lot of support here.
  5. Stella Johnson

    Stella Johnson Active Member

    Just wanted to add my welcome. Glad you found us. :coffee:

  6. Asheilah

    Asheilah New Member

    She is currently on 20mg of Prozac each day. When they first put her on that I really believed it made a difference. Now I am just not so sure that it is doing enough.

    She was diagnosed by a Psychiatrist at our local Children's Hospital after a particularly bad episode. That was 3 years ago.

    Since last year, she has not attended traditional high school. That most certainly was causing a lot of her anxiety and stress. Her grades were dropping to the point that she was failing and she was not going to classes.

    We pulled her out of school and she does all of her high school classes through an online system which she loves. Her marks are back up to straigh A's and we have no concerns with her school work at all. She also got a part time job and still socializes with some friends on line. She also belongs to a figure skating club so she does get some social interaction. She just doesn't actually talk to people when she gets to these things, she is very shy and withdrawn. When I try to get her to open up or invite a friend over, she just lashes out.
  7. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    My 9-year-old daughter has a severe anxiety disorder and is taking 20 mg Prozac. While it has helped her anxiety somewhat, it has also caused her to have very low frustration tolerance and to rage. We don't think this is a manic reaction to Prozac; we do believe, however, it is related to the medication and dose, and we are talking with her psychiatrist about weaning her from Prozac and trying something else.

    I'm not in any way suggesting that's what's going on with your daughter, but it sounds as if she has extreme social anxiety and her medications are not helping completely. Sometimes the medication is wrong, sometimes the dose is wrong, sometimes as a teen grows and changes, adjustments need to be made. You definitely should talk all of this over with your daughter's psychiatrist to see what might be recommended.
  8. Asheilah

    Asheilah New Member

    Does anyone have any advice on how I get her to go to the doctor so that I can have someone reanalyze her medication without her feeling like I am saying that there is something wrong with her.

    It's a catch 22, because she knows that there is something wrong, but when we go to a doctor she doesn't talk, she won't tell them how she's feeling, and she just gets all defensive because she thinks that I think that she has problems.

    She knows what she was diagnosed with, but I get the feeling that she thinks this is something that she is going to outgrow and it is going to all go away, not that it is something that she is going to have to deal with for the rest of her life. If she thought that, she would certainly be more depressed.

    She thinks that she is not normal and that other people don't go through these same things as her.
  9. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    As I said, ODD isn't a stand-alone diagnosis. She likely has something else driving the behaviors, and it does not necessarily mean she will have to live with it the rest of her life (it depends on the true diagnosis).

    Can you get an appointment to speak with the doctor alone? Or can you accompany her to the doctor and speak with him together?
  10. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    First, welcome. You've found a great group.

    As has been said, ODD rarely stands alone. More often than not, there is an underlying illness that causes the behavior to manifest this way. The best way to get a decent diagnosis is to get a neuropsychologist evaluation if at all possible.

    What do you think would happen if you explained to her that you want her to get an evaluation to see if there is anything that can help her feel better? Try to explain it in terms of a serious illness like diabetes. If she showed symptoms, you'd get her tested and get her on the proper medications if any were needed. Well, a lot of mental illnesses are actually problems with the body, not the mind but you can't get the medications to help the body heal if a doctor doesn't make a good evaluation. Depression, ADHD, bipolar are all organic and/or chemical. The imbalances just happen to hit the mind. There are very few mental illnesses that aren't caused by something wrong in the body. It might make her feel better to know you don't think she is crazy and, more importantly, to learn that she isn't crazy.

    I hope you can convince your daughter to get some help. It could make such a huge difference in her life.
  11. neednewtechnique

    neednewtechnique New Member

    First of all, welcome. So glad you found us. I picked up on something you said, and would just like to tell you, that yes, by taking your child to yet ANOTHER doctor, you will be admitting that there is something wrong with her, but you will also be showing the support and love that your child deserves by taking ACTION to help her GET BETTER. This is NO DIFFERENT than taking a child to the doctor because they have a fever or a rash. YES, something is wrong, but you want to have professional help correcting the problem. Believe me, I know there is a lot of "stigma" about people with "mental illnesses" and etc, but you can't let the "stigma" keep you from getting your daughter the help she needs. Not only will your life be much easier, but think of how much better she will feel. And also, once you get her under control and get her stable, you two will have a much better relationship, and that, by itself, makes it ALL worth it.