Just Our Luck

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Hound dog, Nov 10, 2007.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    husband got hired, although not for the lab manager job. He won't know about that position for 6 mos. While I'm glad he got hired due to insurance and such, I'm not jumping up and down.

    Turns out husband will be making LESS money working for the actual company than with the temp. In all the times he's used temp services to find jobs this has never happened before. I'm hoping he's mistaken, but I'm not counting on it.

    We've been just barely squeaking by on what he's making now. I don't know how we're going to manage with money coming out for insurance and other benefits. :frown:

    Actually. We just can't.

    So, out goes my plans to return to school this quarter. Right now I just can't see a way to make it happen. And I've started job hunting.

    Now I spent a year in school and 9000.00 to become a certified phlebotomist. And ya know what? There are NO jobs. NONE. At least none close enough I can get to.


    If it weren't for bad luck we'd have no luck.

    A year and all that money wasted. I could've just went to wallie world and went to work. Which is what I'm going to have to do anyway.

    Have you ever felt like every time to try to do something to improve your life you get pushed back down even further than you were before? Well, that's whats happening, over and over to us.

  2. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Lisa---I'm so sorry. It seems like when a run of bad luck hits---it just keeps going. been there done that. The good part is that after getting through it---it's over with. A big hug for you.
  3. Stella Johnson

    Stella Johnson Active Member

    Put your resume in with all the local hospitals and nursing homes even if they don't have published job openings.

    Sorry you are having such a hard time. Sounds like husband needs to negotiate a better salary. If he was working through a temp agency at the same place then went permanent I'm sure they can afford to give him more. I can almost guarantee they were paying at least 50% more than he was actually making to the temp agency.

  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    And I can't even unload and vent without interruption. *sigh*

    This is like a punch in the gut for me. I've spent the past year hoping and praying husband would get hired permanently so that he'd make enough money we could survive. And now that it's not going to happen I'm devistated.

    I wasn't looking for riches here. Just something close to a livable salary would've been nice. I mean :censored2:, husband has to drive 2 hours a day to get to this frimping job in the first place. A third of his pay goes out to GAS. Are these people insane?

    And to find that I can't even find a job in the field I trained for is just too damn much.

    husband is thrilled and proud of himself, and all I want to do is punch him silly. Isn't that awful?

    And it isn't really a choice of husband taking this job. He's 59 yrs old, it's not like companies are jumping wanting to hire someone that old.

    I feel defeated, sad, overwhelmed. I cried all last night when I should've been happy. I haven't even been to sleep. I can't sleep. There is too much to worry about. Bills are already so far behind I don't know how we're going to catch up. I've got three bill collectors taking me to court cuz we just can't pay them. Oh, fun. NOT! been there done that

    I'm doing everything I can to keep bills down to a minimum, I don't spend extra money. Of course there isn't extra money to spend, but that's beside the point. easy child is already buying the pet supplies because other than the new kitty, the other animals wouldn't be able to relocate with other families. Nichole finally went and got WIC for the baby cuz I'm having trouble keeping food in the house. She takes Aubrey to her Dad's to eat.

    As it looks now, there will be no xmas this year from husband and I. While the kids understand, it still hurts that we won't be able to do it. Thanksgiving dinner won't happen unless someone else foots the bill. I can't afford it, either.

    I'm sick of being so poor you never know where your next meal is coming from. I'm tired of working my fanny off to try to make our lives better only to have it fall apart worse. (husband lost his job right after I went back to school last yr)

    Yep. I'm feeling pretty defeated right now.

    Sorry I unloaded on you all. But I have no one here to listen.

    If you got this far, thank you.
  5. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    Sending hugs. One place you might not have thought of for work is your local blood bank or Red Cross. They always need (and pay) people to do the blood draws. Just a thought. It is ok to vent here that is what we are here for.

  6. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member

    keep looking. Hospitals don't always hire right away, if you are going in that direction. You have to go to job fairs and it can take up to six months before they call you (at least that's what happens here).

    Keep putting applications at labs and doctor's offices. You'll find something. Don't give up!

    As far as husband.....he'll take the job, but have him keep looking. There is no reason to stop. If he finds a better paying job, great. If they hire him for the managment job before then, perfect. If he finds a better paying job and he gives notice, maybe the company will give him the better job in the end.
  7. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Aww, Lisa, I'm sorry that you are hurting. I know all to well the worries of having an unemployed husband and the trials of finding a job when you are in your fifties. husband has been though that twice in the last two years.

    Have you ever given any thought to moving to where the job market might be better? I know that in the growing southeast there are always jobs for health professionals.:nurse:

    I know how much work you put into getting certified. It just doesn't seem fair that you end up at Walmart!


  8. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I am sorry... one step forward one step back... that is how it feels some years HUH???

    You are a trooper though look at what you have accomplished, don't undermine your goals and achievements!!! It will happen... jusy think how much patience you will finally have when you get the trully unrully patients!!! Piece of cake!!!

    I do hope husband is wrong about the income... hugs
  9. KFld

    KFld New Member

    Don't give up on your dream. You may have to put it on the back burner temporarily, but don't give up. If you give up you will never have your dream.
  10. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    I'm so sorry!!! Life always seems to throw curve balls at us. However, I think Lothlorien is right - hospitals and labs don't always hire right away. I know because my best friend is an RN. Hang in there. Keep sending out those resumes while working where you have to in order to keep food on the table. And, like Lothlorien said, your husband can continue to look for another job while taking this one. You never know what might pop up...

    You've accomplished so much!!! You are a very strong, wise, and determined person!!! You have been through so much already. You WILL get through this!!! I truly believe you WILL get a job in your field.

    I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers...

    And, I always have two cyber shoulders you can lean on. WFEN
  11. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911


    Personally to hear that a phlebotomist cant jab anyone makes me truly happy. So I'm sorry for you, but glad no one is getting poked. I can't even talk about the inside of you......(fainted) arm without getti/////g queasy (erp) sorry. I think for me it would be better if they just stood me up at the end of a lab like on say a huge 9' dart board and tossed the needles like darts, with a hose on the end of it, gave me a blind fold and laid me on the floor when I was done. The whole thing makes me queazy.

    So - you're angry with God, and the world, and your hubby and life, and your hair, and (weren't angry with your hair? Sorry musta been me) and you know what? IT IS OKAY TO BE ANGRY. I think I never could figure out what I was more angry about - being angry or being angry that I was angry (following me on this one??) See - I would have this picture in my head of HOW MY LIFE was supposed to be and time after time after STINKIN time - i would get ripped off, shorted or left to change my dream over and over and over. AND GOOD GOD did it make me angry. Fist fulls of hair angry, gritting teeth angry, kicking the tree angry - which was a HUGE mistake because then I broke my foot and had NO money to go to the ER. Ever try to set your own foot in a door jam? Yeah - now whos queasy phlebotomy girl? (Gag)

    Daisy - GIVE yourself permission to be angry. You have a right and most of us don't know it. WE go through life having disappointment after disappointment and then we stifle our anger and THAT is not good. Once in a while it's actually healthy to be p'o'ed. Just as long as your actions aren't hurtful to anyone. But we never give ourselves that permission - we always sit and think "I have nothing to be angry OVER I have this I have that my kids are this and that and they are here not in the hospital and I do have a husband, and we MINIMALIZE and trivialize the reasons we're angry and put our feelings on a shelf. And then one day we forget about that can of bad feelings and open it and talk about a can of whoop &$$.

    Anger without guilt? Good for your soul. Tell yourself you have a right to be angry and then sit down with pencil and paper and do this little exercise (i know it's not going to put turkey on the table or christmas in the stocking) but it will help you get a clear perspective on some other things - especially that cloud that YOU FEEL is hanging over you (Don't tell me look look it is) If it is then what can we do to get rid of it?

    On the paper write out 100 (and it has to be 100) ideas to make money. Here's why = the first 20 0r so are easy and sometimes just goofy. Part of this exercise is that you HAVE to write down whatever pops in your head (no I wont share my lists) the 21-59 ideas are going to be a little harder but you start thinking logically about your goal. The 60-100 are the cream of your thinking and some really good ideas for lots of people are born in this area.

    I can't help you with $, but I CAN help you with research for things that you may not know are available out there to help you. My Mom thought I needed those Matt Lesko books and - well I got her house insulated, all the windows fixed, new water heater, new door, and complete new furnace. I also get one utility bill a year paid no strings - you being in Ohio this could help not? Also you need to start finding out what pantry's there are in your neck of the woods and USE THEM. Take what they give you and donate the rest back. LOTS and LOTS of churches, and United Ways and Salvation ARmys have things like this - to use them is to have been there and done that. Get my drift?

    And I know how your hubby feels, at 59 - he is probably jumping OUT OF HIS SKIN to get a new job, be hired, and do what he can. You can be angry with him - but don't forget to tell him that you are proud of him - and you love him. I'm sure it's not the delight of his day to drive 2 hours to and from work. Unless he's got a really kickin' stereo with an 8 disc CD changer and likes to sing. He deserves to be told GOOD JOB

    SO - for what it's worth - GO have your talk with God and tell him how angry you are that you feel he constantly shorts you in your life and ask him what needs to be done -
    Tell your hubby - GOOD ON YA MAN (tell him I said WOOO WHOOOOHOO)
    Get paper and pen and write out your list (it works for lots of stuff like How do I find a job, why do I hate Nabisco for charging more for their cookies than duplex creams)

    And when you're done - PM me - we'll get to work on finding that stuff if it's available and if you want help. This board is a wealth of information. Many link queens you know.

  12. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Others gave excellent advice (Star-I love that 100 idea list-may try it myself). Sending some gentle hugs your way and will say some prayers that something else turns up for your husband and you find a job in your field.
  13. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Thanks guys. I can't believe you made it thru all that. :faint:

    I'm in a better frame of mind tonight. At least the anger is gone. No, trust me. It's gone. You don't want to see my bedroom right now. lol

    husband showed me the written copy of his offer. No mistake, a measly 32,000 a year. But he says their raises are good and their known for giving huge bonuses when sales are up. And I have to admit because it's Kayo I haven't had to buy shampoo and lotion for a year now. I have it stacked up in my pantry. (they send him home with cases of the expensive stuff after they finish testing the skid)

    easy child is determined to find a way for me to work and manage school. She has trouble with letting go of dreams, that one. sigh She's coming over to finish my FASFA tomorrow after work. I figure it doesn't hurt to fill it out.

    easy child is also on a mission (of her own) to ask all the docs she works with at the hospital if they happen to have phlebotomy positions open in their offices. We already know her hospital has a hiring freeze on right now.

    The Red Cross was a good idea. And when I took Nichole to WIC I saw where our local office is for it. So on tues I'll check with them. Also on tues I may pay a visit to our local temp company and see if they have anything. (ya never know)

    As for food pantries.....We're one of the poorest counties in Ohio. We have one. I've used it. (I'm not too proud) But all we got was one little box of a few canned goods. There are just too many people and not enough food.

    Star that list is a great idea. I'm going to sit down and try it. :smile: As for help with utilities.....I already know where to go and they probably will be seeing me soon. (and hopefully they won't jerk us over like the last time we used the program)

    I also discovered by accident.....Travis, just on his visual disability alone, qualifies for medicare AND transportation services. So, I'm going to have to hop out there and see what needs to be done to get him on it.

    Star, you're right. I needed to get the anger out. I learned some years back about the whole holding in the emotions thing. It wasn't pretty. I learned the hard way we're all just human and have the right to feel what we feel, when we feel it.

  14. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat


    I took a medical billing and coding course almost 2 years ago.

    My certificate is collecting dust.

    I am SO sorry.
  15. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Lisa -

    I'm so sorry. This really stinks. Ohio was doing wonderfully for years when it came to wages and jobs and there was full employment. Jobs in my field are now paying about $10,000 a year less than they were 8 years ago. And that's when you can find one. They talk about how wages have gone stagnant...but it seems here they've gone completely backwards.

  16. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Daisylover</div><div class="ubbcode-body">As it looks now, there will be no xmas this year from husband and I. While the kids understand, it still hurts that we won't be able to do it. Thanksgiving dinner won't happen unless someone else foots the bill. I can't afford it, either.

    So sorry to hear all your frustrations. I feel for you. been there done that..TWICE (15 years apart).
    Breathe...ONE step at a time. One portion of ONE bill at a time.
    Holidays. My kids said they understood too. But when everyone else is celebrating, I felt so bad.

    SO..this is what you do.
    contact Salvation Army. They often bring xmas tree's, few gifts and holiday meal. I do not know WHO called for me, but one day I came home and there was a xmas tree, and a big box with wrapped gifts for easy child (he was only 2) and a HAM with some can goods. I cried. It meant SO much to me that someone cared enough to call for me. I was not aware they did this. easy child had gifts to open.

    Contact Energy Assistance. Contact Social Services for Food Stamps and any assistance you can get. Atleast fill out the forms to see if you qualify. Things have changed over the years.

    Volunteer at a soup kitchen with your family for a holiday meal. Even though you are feeling sad, this makes you Thank God for what you DO have. Such a great experience for difficult child too. Makes Christmas mean so much more when you have each other, and you see others who have nobody.

    Gather all family members. One big group hug. You WILL get through this. You WILL find work in your trained field. Start slow.
    After 16 years of working a good job, transferring out of town, I lost my job. husband's company was sold he lost his and the very same day he recieved a letter in the mail saying he had a son that was 16.5 years old that he never knew about and this girl wanted back child support upto and including the birth of the child. All medical bills and surgeries. It was in another state just prior to when we met. That was 4 years ago. We are still digging out. But we ARE digging out. You will too.

    You will, you will, you will. Hugs, comfort, strength.
  17. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Many times you can get on at a hospital or other place if you are willing to work on call. It is not always much, and sometimes can be too much, but it gets your foot in the door. Definetely try red cross. I am right here with you, and it really :censored2:.
  18. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Lisa, I don't have one bit of advice. I'm just sorry for your frustration. I hope husband's job develops into something better than either of you anticipate now...and that you can persevere long enough to see your dream come to fruition.