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Substance Abuse
Just sad, difficult child is not growing and I need to let go of thinking "it's a phase"
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 630285" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Oh Sig, on the one hand I am very sorry you've had the week you have had with difficult child, and on the other hand, perhaps it is good to see him in the clear light of day.</p><p></p><p>Right now, he is what you see. This is exactly who he is. Don't forget it. It will help you continue to stop enabling, detach with love and accept him right now today for just who he is.</p><p></p><p>It doesn't mean this is who he will always be. Things change. People change. He is only 22---he is still very immature and if he's been using drugs for years, like my son has, his development is completely arrested---back to when he started using. Is he acting about like a 14-year-old? That's because maturity-wise, that is where he still is.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Addiction arrests development. That is a huge factor. As our kids' friends grow up, move on and build a life, they leave their substance-abusing friends way, way behind. They will not grow until they arrest their addiction and move into recovery. Just stopping the drug or alcohol use isn't enough. They have to start recovering.</p><p></p><p>Behaviors of addiction</p><p></p><p>I think this is true stuff. Read about how they act when they are addicted. We will see our children there.</p><p></p><p>Warm hugs to you. Right now, he is working somewhere far, far away. You can't know the future, Sig. Let him go, for now.</p><p></p><p>Focus on yourself and your family. As someone else said today, Our parenting days are done.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 630285, member: 17542"] Oh Sig, on the one hand I am very sorry you've had the week you have had with difficult child, and on the other hand, perhaps it is good to see him in the clear light of day. Right now, he is what you see. This is exactly who he is. Don't forget it. It will help you continue to stop enabling, detach with love and accept him right now today for just who he is. It doesn't mean this is who he will always be. Things change. People change. He is only 22---he is still very immature and if he's been using drugs for years, like my son has, his development is completely arrested---back to when he started using. Is he acting about like a 14-year-old? That's because maturity-wise, that is where he still is. Addiction arrests development. That is a huge factor. As our kids' friends grow up, move on and build a life, they leave their substance-abusing friends way, way behind. They will not grow until they arrest their addiction and move into recovery. Just stopping the drug or alcohol use isn't enough. They have to start recovering. Behaviors of addiction I think this is true stuff. Read about how they act when they are addicted. We will see our children there. Warm hugs to you. Right now, he is working somewhere far, far away. You can't know the future, Sig. Let him go, for now. Focus on yourself and your family. As someone else said today, Our parenting days are done. [/QUOTE]
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Just sad, difficult child is not growing and I need to let go of thinking "it's a phase"
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