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Substance Abuse
Just sad, difficult child is not growing and I need to let go of thinking "it's a phase"
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<blockquote data-quote="Stress Bunny" data-source="post: 630298" data-attributes="member: 4855"><p>Sig,</p><p></p><p>Just wanted to say that I completely get the exasperation with difficult child and his gradiose thinking.</p><p></p><p>My difficult child, JT, is the same way. He has made ridiculous claims such as:</p><ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">He was going to be an underwater welder and become rich in five years, though he had already flunked out of college because he couldn't discipline himself to even show up for his classes, much less pass them.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">He is the best (fill in the blank) his supervisor has ever seen in the history of the company after just weeks on the job.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">He could design a car for the highway that would run on lemon juice and get rich.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">He knew more in fifth grade about algebra, than his mother, who has a masters degree in the financial field.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">He could build a house by himself after one summer working on a construction crew.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">He knew how to fly airplanes, though he never had any training.</li> </ul><p>And the list goes on and on! You get the idea!</p><p></p><p>Has your son always had grandiosity? I know JT has, from early childhood. So, in my difficult child's case anyway, it was present prior to his using alcohol or drugs.</p><p></p><p>I do think this type of thinking is an important clue. In JT's case, I believe he has a personality disorder of some sort. He is NOT bi-polar, although grandiosity is a symptom of that. </p><p></p><p>You could try bringing your difficult child back to earth, bursting his bubble, taking him down a notch, or putting him in his place, but these tactics probably won't work. I know because I tried them all!</p><p></p><p>Sadly, even natural consequences don't seem to change this type of thinking. That's why I think in my son's case it is a disorder of some sort. It's quite constant and noticeably abnormal in comparison to healthy people. </p><p></p><p>I am learning more and more that I can't fix my difficult child's issues. I want to, but I can't. You will benefit from letting your son go and bringing your attention back to taking extra good care of yourself. Hopefully your son will find his purpose in life and recover from his substance abuse issues. You can't control that though. This path we're on is a hard one. I'm sorry you are going through this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Stress Bunny, post: 630298, member: 4855"] Sig, Just wanted to say that I completely get the exasperation with difficult child and his gradiose thinking. My difficult child, JT, is the same way. He has made ridiculous claims such as: [LIST] [*]He was going to be an underwater welder and become rich in five years, though he had already flunked out of college because he couldn't discipline himself to even show up for his classes, much less pass them. [*]He is the best (fill in the blank) his supervisor has ever seen in the history of the company after just weeks on the job. [*]He could design a car for the highway that would run on lemon juice and get rich. [*]He knew more in fifth grade about algebra, than his mother, who has a masters degree in the financial field. [*]He could build a house by himself after one summer working on a construction crew. [*]He knew how to fly airplanes, though he never had any training. [/LIST] And the list goes on and on! You get the idea! Has your son always had grandiosity? I know JT has, from early childhood. So, in my difficult child's case anyway, it was present prior to his using alcohol or drugs. I do think this type of thinking is an important clue. In JT's case, I believe he has a personality disorder of some sort. He is NOT bi-polar, although grandiosity is a symptom of that. You could try bringing your difficult child back to earth, bursting his bubble, taking him down a notch, or putting him in his place, but these tactics probably won't work. I know because I tried them all! Sadly, even natural consequences don't seem to change this type of thinking. That's why I think in my son's case it is a disorder of some sort. It's quite constant and noticeably abnormal in comparison to healthy people. I am learning more and more that I can't fix my difficult child's issues. I want to, but I can't. You will benefit from letting your son go and bringing your attention back to taking extra good care of yourself. Hopefully your son will find his purpose in life and recover from his substance abuse issues. You can't control that though. This path we're on is a hard one. I'm sorry you are going through this. [/QUOTE]
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Just sad, difficult child is not growing and I need to let go of thinking "it's a phase"
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