just saying "hi"

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by rita, Jun 17, 2008.

  1. rita

    rita Member

    Been quite awhile again since I checked in.Lots of the same stories but many new names. For those who may remember us difficult child is now 24 with a 16 month old daughter.
    No issues with heavy drug abuse in a very long time before the baby was born but still struggling to make up the "lost years".
    He is inconsistent still but overall a polite, helpful, happy and good son. All the drug abuse adhd etc. has left him far behind but he is working to get up to speed. Only 2 credits left to get grade 12 and talk of furthering education.
    He seems to have given up his addiction of "females" and settled with one finally. It has been a few months of this relationship and considering it was a new one every couple of days for years and years since he was 12 this is a Major Improvement. He acts somewhat immature with her but she calls him on it and he is struggling but improving to be a "good" boyfriend and working his way through the trust issues.He at least is realizing his attitude when it becomes immature and addresses it.
    The drama, court rooms, police et al are of the past although we still have 6 months of parole left to complete he has basically proved to them he is well and he only has to attend monthly meetings. If I never see a cop, courtroom, jail again it will be too soon.
    Life is far from perfect yet as we still have our minor "slip & falls" out there behaviours that come intermittently every few months (complete meltdowns) but he is apologetic and really strives to make it right. He seems to know when it is coming now and I think it is some sort of mental thing. He will not see a doctor though but then again I can't make him at this age I guess he will come to whats what on his own.
    To all still struggling, do not give up!!
    As long as there is breath there is hope.
  2. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    RITA!!!! I tried emailing you a few times but they came back returned. Give me a shout. Same with Karen ...Joe's Mom. (If you're out there lurking, check in.)

    Glad to see your son is at least on the path.

  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hey Rita! Glad to hear all is going well...all things considering. Here is hoping it continues.
  4. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thanks for posting, it's always great to hear such great progress stories :)
  5. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Lovely Rita meter maid!!!!!!

    HOW ARE YOU!!!!!!!

    So you are a grammie? Congratulations!

    Good to see you again!

  6. Estherfromjerusalem

    Estherfromjerusalem Well-Known Member


    That is so good -- to "see" you again. It certainly has been a long time.

    I read every word of your update, and was really happy to see where your difficult child is at today. I remember the difficult (understatement) years, and the anguish and pain. It is wonderful today to read your update -- it gives all of us hope with our difficult children.

    I was sure at the end you would sign off "Peace, Rita" but it wasn't there. I missed it!!!

    Anyway, great to see you, Grandma! You sound good. Enjoy your granddaughter. 16 months is a lovely age.

    Love, Esther
  7. PonyGirl

    PonyGirl Warrior Parent

    Hi there Rita! Thank you for checking in on us & giving the nice update. I remember your struggles with J so clearly when I first joined in. I think of you and J still. Always loved your "peace rita" sign-off, adopted it as my own with just

  8. judi

    judi Active Member

    Hi Rita - welcome back and thanks for the positive update.
  9. rita

    rita Member

    LOL thanks all I guess I finally realized in my life there will be no peace!!! hahaha
    Abbey I am going to search out the latest on John as I often wonder about him and Joe "the boys" as they will always be in my mind.
    Esther, Janet, Pony, Star still hanging in good stuff. I hope all of you have managed to find an acceptable emotional safe PEACEFUL place in your lives. Codependancy problems still exist for me but I have gotten a somewhat grip on it... every day is a new beginning:)
    Where is everyone living now? We are moving Monday another BIG change but one I am looking forward to, I have told J it is my time now.
    Unfortunately my oldest grandson has developed some wild behaviours lately what I always refer to as the "joys of boys years" are upon us as he hits 12 in a few weeks. I hope my easy child has an easier ride with him than the one her brother took me on. I think she will as the behaviours are recent and not a build up from a tot as difficult child's were. She is wondering where her angel went. I just wanted to give her a big hug as she sobbed on the phone today for her babes lost innocence.
    So update you all I would love to hear the latest on everyone!!
    peace rita
  10. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    rita, good to hear your positive report. I think I was still a lurker back when you were here earlier.......don't be a stranger....we want to hear the good stuff too!
  11. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    Hello! :) You know I was thinking of you about a week or two ago. I'm not sure why. Glad to see you back for a hi here.
  12. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    J update?

    Where do I begin. Actually there are small snipits of growth.

    He was released from prison (a God send...let me tell you) about 6 months ago. He hooked up with a woman who is about my age. She's got her own issues, but seems to be a somewhat good influence on him. He calls nearly every other day wanting money, etc. husband gives in from time to time.

    He's on Methadone treatments, which is the latest issue. He doesn't have the money to continue. Don't understand this, which is my red flag, as the state usually provides this.

    Glad to see you around!!

  13. ScentofCedar

    ScentofCedar New Member



    You have no idea how often I think of you ~ or how often your courage in dealing with your son has helped me stay straight in my dealings with mine.

    I'm happy things are going well for you, now.