Just shoot me!

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by muttmeister, Jul 29, 2010.

  1. muttmeister

    muttmeister Well-Known Member

    This is a general rant and it's probably going to be long so if you have no patience or you're already burned out, you may as well skip this.

    I haven't posted about either difficult child for awhile. Older one is still doing great: that's the one bright spot in my life. He just started a new job and they liked him so well at the old one they're letting him stay on part time so they can pay him for his sick days (which they're not supposed to do). He is getting married October 1. I have a wedding quilt and 5 little girls' dresses to make and I haven't even been able to get started. I do have the stuff for the quilt but it is lying in my dining room and I look at it several times a day and go on by.:(

    Younger difficult child and his wife had a big fight a couple of weeks ago and she moved out and took the kids. Right now the kids are staying with her white-trash mother. I don't mean to be a (insert the name of a female dog) here, but the woman has warrants out for her in at least 3 states, doesn't work, doesn't bathe, and is dumber that the neighbor's pet goat. difficult child's wife wanted to move one town over and get a job and live there. He offered her the house and the car and he (we) would continue to pay all of the utilities, etc. but she wasn't going to do that. Finally she agreed to move back into their house (it is paid for) if he'd buy a new front door(theirs is broken), put in a new toilet (it needs it), buy a new air conditioner(old one of those broke too), and take out the wood burning stove and put in a propane stove for winter. I think we will do it because that means the three grandkids will be around the corner from me where I can keep an eye on them and be somewhat involved in their lives. But guess who will get to pay for all of that as difficult child's job doesn't even pay the bills? He is planning to leave the area (with her brother) and look for a job elsewhere. He may end up where his dad is, which would be a good thing. I think he might be able to get a decent job there. But it is a huge mess right now.

    Last night he took my cell phone because his was not working and he rode his motorcycle to a town about an hour away. I got a call this morning; he lost my cell phone somewhere along the road.:mad: Not only will I have to get a new phone, I have lost all of my contacts. Yes, I should have backed them up someplace but I didn't. So .... older son just got a new phone yesterday with a new number so I can't call him as I didn't write down his number; I just saved it in my phone. And I don't have long distance on my land line so I can't call much of anybody till I get a new phone anyway. It's a good thing I'll get paid tomorrow but all of that money was already spent so it will take some juggling to take care of that problem.

    difficult child 2 and his wife's brother have been staying with me since all of this happened. I am used to living alone. Having them around is driving me nuts. PLUS, I sit in the heat half of the time and never run the air conditioner at night as I don't feel I can afford a huge air conditioner bill. They have had the air conditioner in their room on continuously since they came. I have told them about it; I go in and shut it off when they aren't here, but I go back in and they have it on again. I don't mind it being on when it is hot but they even had it on this weekend when it was cool. They leave their dirty clothes and dirty dishes lying around even though I have complained. And I have told them not to smoke in my house but when I'm not home they do anyway. Then when I come home and smell it they try to tell me they didn't. I guess they think I was born yesterday.

    difficult child 2 has two things he is supposed to do for me: look at my brakes so I can tell my ex what to order to fix them next weekend (ex lives 2 hours from here) and erect a garden tent type thing that was supposed to be put up for Memorial Day. He acts like I am in the wrong when I complain that these things are not done. I'd like to smack him one.

    On top of it all, my almost 96 year old mother is getting really forgetful and a little confused. I don't know how much longer she will be able to live alone. She can't live with me (all of my bedrooms are upstairs; besides we'd probably kill each other). I'd like to get her into the independent living facility in town but they are expensive. She does have nursing home insurance but I don't think it will pay for the independent living facility. I have an appointment with her financial guy on Monday to see if we can get at some of her money. She has some but it's all tied up in long term investments so I don't know what we can get out without paying a huge penalty. The independent living place does have a waiting list anyway so even if I put her on the list, who knows if she will ever get in? She has said several times she thinks maybe she needs help but when I suggest this she is going to go ballistic. She is a crier: I hate that. When somebody cries around me I want to whack them upside the head. You can yell and curse and throw things and I can handle it but when you start to bawl I want to kill you. I think it is from living with her all of those years. Anytime anything didn't suit her or she didn't get her way, she'd bawl. I HATE THAT.:mad:

    I am supposed to go see a friend next weekend but with the phone, the divorce, my mother, and the brakes on my car needing fixed, I may not get to go. Just one more thing on the list.

    All in all I try to remember that both of my kids are healthy, I have three cute, smart grandkids, I have a roof over my head, I collect my retirement and social security every month, and life should be good. BUT, right now is definitely not a good time.
  2. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Hey MM,

    Just sending hugs. I'm sorry things all over the place are so overwhelming...I totally know how you feel. Work has become my escape!

    I hope things settle down. Just one comment...re: the a/c and the smoking in your home. If they can't follow those two simple rules, they can find a new place to live. I hate when people can't respect a person's home and house rules, it's so disrespectful. We're talking about a couple of grown ups who should be able to clean up after themselves, follow your house rules and when they do smoke outside, pick up their used butts. That would really peave me too.
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    MM...I feel you. Rant away. NE. I have never been there I dont think. Im wanting to move. Maybe I will go there. Its far from here. Just have to kidnap the grands.
  4. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Sending hugs. I'm sorry things are so chaotic right now.
  5. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Hey Mutt,

    You know I read your whole post. Some parts I even chuckled at. Not at-at, but with-at. You are in sooooo much trouble. - I checked with N.A.G.S. - National American Goat Society - Yup they're upset with some woman in Nebraska comparing one of their own to some (and I quote) white-trash dumb-dumb. Got the letter right here from Bill E. Goat. It's a little chewed in one corner - but the sentiment is there all the same.

    They had several other alternative animals for comparative argument. ie: sloth, snail, slug, barracuda, toad, worm, piranha, weasle, assasin bug, skank, (that could be skunk - hard to write with hooves) cockroach, and amoeba. They also made reference to the posterior end of an equine, but cited that is only 1/2 an animal and contended your letter made reference to a full bodied animal.

    As far as the airconditioner? I'd be dipped in goat dots if I'd say it more than one more time and the thing would be in the window when they got back. I'd have it removed and locked up. Maybe a few days in the heat would remind them to turn it off. As far as smoking in my house? OH NO WAY IN .....naught ah. That's just about the last slap - DF used to try to get away with that bull-oney too - telling me he needed one on the toilet....Well - I set him up with a bucket in the yard. I mean - I don't smoke - I have to live here too. He'd always air out the house - and spray air freshener - and all that jazz too - and I could tell 9 hours later.

    There are a few things I think you can bend on - Like....oh I dunno - LETTING PEOPLE LIVE WITH YOU AFTER THEY HAVE THEIR OWN LIVES.....but to be upset about the absolute rules? No maam. And trying to minimalize the fact that they are breaking YOUR rules in YOUR home? NO. No maam. Lay it out and tell them if they don't like it - FIND ANOTHER PLACE, that would let them break the rules and still live there.

    I have had room mates ALL MY LIFE - ALL OF IT - married, not married - and I'm telling you - we set up rules, and I followed them - and my roomies got ONE warning. ONE. When the laundry got backed up and it caused ME problems? OUT. IT. WENT. OUT. O.U.T. Like - Front yard....you go pick it up- I had to now you do it....OUT. 9 times out of 10 it never happened again. Extreme? Yes. But so is asking an adult room mate to pick up after themselves 20 times while you stew and they pig out. Nope - I'm not doing it anymore.

    I'd chew off my right arm and slap myself in the face before I'd let my kids come home to live again.

    I'm really sorry (what You want a picture of that?) yeah----I'll either be doing that or be in the nut ward. Sorry to hear about your Mom too - You are an incredible woman!!!! Here's hoping my internet mojo strength comes through in the form of obedient children, a break job and a mom who stops crying. (I hear foam rubber ear plugs are VERY popular) I has them!

    Hugs & Love
    The goat whisperer - and they're allright now.