Just spoke with PO

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by klmno, Apr 1, 2010.

  1. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    He says he's going to stop by the school this morning on his way to visit Department of Juvenile Justice facilities and talk to difficult child- he says he's going to give him a big wake-up call and leave him on house arrest a while longer and give him a drug test when we come in next week. I ask about what was available for PO's to do- he says they don't have access to ankle bracelets/monitoring on parole. I ask if they could throw the kid's rear in detention for a weekend and he said in order to he would have to oficially violate difficult child and take him before a judge who might or might not go that route. With difficult child just getting released, there is just as much chance that a judge would recommit him to Department of Juvenile Justice. He said this is the kind of stuff he's going to tell difficult child this morning.

    As far as the mentor- the director/super that I first spoke with is no longer there. He said he had called them and told them they need to find someone and start today or tomorrow. Also, he had fore-warned them that difficult child will try to blame me and manipulate and if he hears of any stories like that, he will call and discuss them with me prior to issuing any orders. Good- I hope I have finally found someone who gets the problem.

    He asked if I thought difficult child was doing drugs- no but the test is a good idea just to be sure. difficult child said last night that he has not told his best friend he's on parole- so I guess difficult child doesn't want it to look like he's on house arrrest. And, the boy gave difficult child a condom- my guess is that difficult child is really just trying to find a girl to have his first experience with. I told PO that difficult child never bucked the probation officer's rules like this- it had always been just mine but this is outrageous to be bucking parole like this when just getting released. PO said yes- it is pretty nutty. We both agreed that it would add up if difficult child thinks this is leading him to sex with someone. Nevertheless, PO is giving him a warning this morning that one more thing and difficult child will get oofficially violated and go to the judge.

    I'm sure difficult child will be a real peach toward me this evening- I just hope he doesn't become violent or do something rash like run away.
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2010
  2. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sounds like the PO is on board ... very good. Deep breaths. If difficult child chooses to act out or run away, that's all on him. Sad, but this point, it is ALL up to him.

  3. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Well, one step in the right direction, anyway.
    Many hugs.
  4. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Now I'm playing phone tag with the new mentor super. He says he'll come by tomorrow to get started but difficult child will still have to transition when they get a new mentor on board. Well, getting started was what we were supposed to do last week- as far as that form where they fill out family goals or whatever. Why didn't they go ahead and do that? I did a search online for this company and they have a ton of job openings advertised. It makes me wonder if they haven't had a major upheaval for something bad. I think the PO should switch companies.
  5. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I like that the po seems to get it.:)
  6. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    He's exceeding my expectations- but as you all know, those were pretty low to say the least. LOL! The PO just called to let me know how his talk with difficult child went- he said difficult child took it well and smiled real big when PO mentioned that it could have something to do with a girl. PO said he let him know that if he gets one more phone call from me before our meeting next week, he will officially violate difficult child. I'm concerned that difficult child is going to become violent with me this evening over this. I know how difficult child can act so responsible and calm, then turn around and blow up on me once we're alone.

    Then, we discussed the mentor situation- or lack thereof. PO said he'd call the guy above the super but if they didn't get something worked out by next week, he'd change companies. He didn't sound too happy when I told him they only stayed about 20 mins last week, never filled out any paper at all, said they'd contact me this week but didn't until PO called them directly, and still told me today that they had no mentor for difficult child in place. He told me to tell them (professionally) what they needed to do and he would back me up. (This PO needs to train that probation officer difficult child used to have.)
  7. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Does difficult child have to know that you called PO? You said he would probably be upset with you when he came home today. Perhaps this can be a "standard procedure" thing that PO stops by the school but called you first to see how things were going. Since you are mandated by law to report any infractions, you had to let PO know about the late days from school.

  8. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I think PO already told him I had called him. Oh well. If I haven't checked in between 4:30 and 8:30 this evening, it won't be good news.
  9. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Be sure you have a plan in place, klmno, just in case (keeping the phone close, leaving the house to stay safe and call if necessary). Stay calm, and matter of fact. As LDM said, you are required by law to report violations....keep to that line with difficult child. He chose to violate and break the law, you are only covering your butt. It's up to him to cover his own.
  10. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    It sounds like the PO understands what needs to be done...hope difficult child chooses to cooperate. Please stay safe, k.
  11. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    He came home and seems fine- not thrilled about the situation but not angry at me. That's understandable and acceptable. Now, to see if he's really in the bathroom or sneaking out the back right now.....

    PO had said he told difficult child that he had no choice but to choose clearly, one way or another, at this point and that he (PO) had given him leeway already, but this was it. Better now than to wait for a real illegal offense, Know what I mean??
  12. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Oh- almost forgot. Some higher-up guy called from the mentoring comapny saying he'd gotten a call from PO. He is sending the preppy mentor guy tomorrow and asked me about all my concerns and talked like they had plenty of trained mentors and made it sound like it had been a supervisor issue. Then he said they would transition difficult child to another mentor next week because the one that had seemed like a mentor (the preppy guy) really has a different job with their company. Whatever. But he mentioned the guy's name who will really be difficult child's mentor starting next week- I asked difficult child and he said that is the same guy that they told us last week was just starting- if they can get his background check in. We'll see how things transpire over the next week.