I've tried for years to get help for my daughter. The "help" was more harmful than helpful. medications we tried when she was young only made things worse. I've tried for years to help my daughter myself. Nothing works.
Now, she's a teenager, so on top of her mood swings, anxiety, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), etc., she has all the wonderful insecurities and things that come along with being a teen -- except they're all intensified because of her problems. I've grown to have a pretty good understanding of what is NOT going on with her, but still have absolutely no idea how to handle her or help her. For example, when she freaks out over something, it's not that she's being selfish or greedy or anything else (which is usually what it looks like on the surface). She's actually miserable and is trying in her own way to cope with a situation. But that usually involves us, her family, having to do something to "fix" the situation. And, of course, we can't always do that, nor is it good for her for us to always do that. But, if you don't, she's hysterical. She has absolutely no coping skills whatsoever, and the years of incompetent therapists we saw never worked on it with her.
These summer weeks have been a string of never-ending freakouts. If things don't go exactly right, she's a mess and frantic to "fix" it and make it "right." She usually can recognize now that she's being unreasonable, but can't do anything to control herself. I've tried talking to her about how it makes her moods worse to not be taking good care of herself -- not eating right or getting enough sleep. But, she's a teenager so it goes in one ear and out the other. She's been on several out of town trips with friends this summer, and has called me in tears each time over something.
Now, it looks like her planned trip to the beach with her boyfriend's family is not going to happen because she's not going to be getting back from the current trip in time to go with them. She's convinced herself that this is the trip she's been dreaming of for years -- a trip to the beach with a boyfriend. She's built it up to THE THING that will make her life good and make her feel happy, that if it doesn't work out she is absolutely not going to be able to go on. Doesn't help that it is all also happening on her birthday, She calls me in tears, frantically trying to figure out a way to make it work, but the only way to do that is to have me drive her there (a 4-hour drive), and back home again. She even realizes how nuts that is, but is so frantic to make herself feel better, she keeps trying to figure out a way to make it work.
I've got so much else going on daily that I'm having a hard time coping myself. I'm just so tired of working so hard every day to get nowhere, and I don't know how to handle these situations anymore. There's just no good answer.
I guess I don't really have a question, just needed to vent!
Now, she's a teenager, so on top of her mood swings, anxiety, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), etc., she has all the wonderful insecurities and things that come along with being a teen -- except they're all intensified because of her problems. I've grown to have a pretty good understanding of what is NOT going on with her, but still have absolutely no idea how to handle her or help her. For example, when she freaks out over something, it's not that she's being selfish or greedy or anything else (which is usually what it looks like on the surface). She's actually miserable and is trying in her own way to cope with a situation. But that usually involves us, her family, having to do something to "fix" the situation. And, of course, we can't always do that, nor is it good for her for us to always do that. But, if you don't, she's hysterical. She has absolutely no coping skills whatsoever, and the years of incompetent therapists we saw never worked on it with her.
These summer weeks have been a string of never-ending freakouts. If things don't go exactly right, she's a mess and frantic to "fix" it and make it "right." She usually can recognize now that she's being unreasonable, but can't do anything to control herself. I've tried talking to her about how it makes her moods worse to not be taking good care of herself -- not eating right or getting enough sleep. But, she's a teenager so it goes in one ear and out the other. She's been on several out of town trips with friends this summer, and has called me in tears each time over something.
Now, it looks like her planned trip to the beach with her boyfriend's family is not going to happen because she's not going to be getting back from the current trip in time to go with them. She's convinced herself that this is the trip she's been dreaming of for years -- a trip to the beach with a boyfriend. She's built it up to THE THING that will make her life good and make her feel happy, that if it doesn't work out she is absolutely not going to be able to go on. Doesn't help that it is all also happening on her birthday, She calls me in tears, frantically trying to figure out a way to make it work, but the only way to do that is to have me drive her there (a 4-hour drive), and back home again. She even realizes how nuts that is, but is so frantic to make herself feel better, she keeps trying to figure out a way to make it work.
I've got so much else going on daily that I'm having a hard time coping myself. I'm just so tired of working so hard every day to get nowhere, and I don't know how to handle these situations anymore. There's just no good answer.
I guess I don't really have a question, just needed to vent!