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<blockquote data-quote="Peace Seeker" data-source="post: 752966" data-attributes="member: 24708"><p>Thanks for the kind words Busy. “G’s” birth mother had many issues, “G” experienced and witnessed many abuses, CPS was involved, her dad was awarded full custody with birth mom only permitted supervised visits. Birth mom hasn’t exercised her ability to visit in years. We understand the predispositions involved, and are endeavoring to provide all the support and treatment possible to help “G” be safe, healthy, happy, and hopefully one day a productive adult. Her behaviors began around age 7. Her grades have always been stellar, with the brief exception of when she purposely tanked her grades to get a reaction but didn’t like that she lost her privileges of being in extracurriculars until grades improved (this period lasted a sum total of two weeks before she brought her grades back up to normal). We have both her pediatrician and therapists working in concert, but both are reluctant to saddle her with a label yet. The school has been empathetic and supportive as well. We are also going to put her on birth control because of her behaviors towards males (boys and men) in school. She is either at school, at home, or at therapies. We do not allow her to go to friends houses or to walk around town because of her previous behaviors. We want there to be as few opportunities as possible for her to get hurt or to hurt others. She has no electronics and no social media. She has used peers’ cells to text inappropriate things to other peers, so we can’t trust her with a cellphone. She goes back to the doctor in a few weeks for the next strategy session to formulate our next plans. We are concerned we may have to place her in a facility if she becomes more of a danger to her sister. Previously, if this was someone at work telling me this I’d probably be thinking to myself “wow, that family is effed up, those parents must be deficient, no way that’s not all the parents’ fault.” God help me, I know better now. We are not perfect parents, but we care and we are trying so hard. We are praying we can get her to age 18 with minimum destruction/devastation. At 18yo her actions will be wholly her responsibility. That sounds so cold, but it is what it is. We love her like crazy, but we do not love her behaviors and actions.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Peace Seeker, post: 752966, member: 24708"] Thanks for the kind words Busy. “G’s” birth mother had many issues, “G” experienced and witnessed many abuses, CPS was involved, her dad was awarded full custody with birth mom only permitted supervised visits. Birth mom hasn’t exercised her ability to visit in years. We understand the predispositions involved, and are endeavoring to provide all the support and treatment possible to help “G” be safe, healthy, happy, and hopefully one day a productive adult. Her behaviors began around age 7. Her grades have always been stellar, with the brief exception of when she purposely tanked her grades to get a reaction but didn’t like that she lost her privileges of being in extracurriculars until grades improved (this period lasted a sum total of two weeks before she brought her grades back up to normal). We have both her pediatrician and therapists working in concert, but both are reluctant to saddle her with a label yet. The school has been empathetic and supportive as well. We are also going to put her on birth control because of her behaviors towards males (boys and men) in school. She is either at school, at home, or at therapies. We do not allow her to go to friends houses or to walk around town because of her previous behaviors. We want there to be as few opportunities as possible for her to get hurt or to hurt others. She has no electronics and no social media. She has used peers’ cells to text inappropriate things to other peers, so we can’t trust her with a cellphone. She goes back to the doctor in a few weeks for the next strategy session to formulate our next plans. We are concerned we may have to place her in a facility if she becomes more of a danger to her sister. Previously, if this was someone at work telling me this I’d probably be thinking to myself “wow, that family is effed up, those parents must be deficient, no way that’s not all the parents’ fault.” God help me, I know better now. We are not perfect parents, but we care and we are trying so hard. We are praying we can get her to age 18 with minimum destruction/devastation. At 18yo her actions will be wholly her responsibility. That sounds so cold, but it is what it is. We love her like crazy, but we do not love her behaviors and actions. [/QUOTE]
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