Just venting about my Mondays Blues and New Years Eve Dinner?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Confused, Dec 30, 2013.

  1. Confused

    Confused Guest

    So, it was a bad morning to start with, puppies ( yes we got two) had left me presents to clean up... my son is still sick ( viral infection) now my dad and sis, sis has issues and my grandfather is once again in his own little world. I didnt get much done today..my best friend is in her own non talkative world and... to top it off... my kids dad called questioning me about my kids health visits ( he has insurance for them he gets the bills) and swears Im not telling him whats going on with them etc! Really? All these years I attempt one way or another to tell him even when their baby teeth fell out and all of a sudden because hes married with a new kid he is almighty ..who he feels deserves a father of the year award!

    So I told him hes making me feel real bad and he says he can provide financially hes got a better job now then he did here and I got silent. He got silent.. he was all" um..." I asked him" what do you want me to say" and in a little sad type voice he said " nothing" I guess he wanted me to say I was proud of him or happy for him but how can I be after everything he has put our kids, me and others thru? Now, I am being civil and polite but I am not his best friend nor do I really want to speak more than I have to with him. So I guess I was being a meany. Plus... he calls when the kids are in bed and neither wanted to talk with him when I asked them..( they weren't asleep yet) I know I complain.. just needed to vent again... plus.I am wrong? I just cant force myself to be so happy around him or on the phone.. I do smile and encourage the kids to see him and talk with him and act like nothing is wrong... I do a good job I think!

    So its long and Im sorry.. but instead of making a new thread, do you all have New Years Eve /New Years Day dinner? We never have.. just curious if you all do. I been thinking to start having them..
  2. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Hubby and I have dinner planned for just the two of us; neither one of us wants to go out. When Miss KT was home, we did more that was geared towards her.

    I understand that you don't want to be your ex's bestie...Useless Boy actually came up and sat next to me in the courtroom when we were getting divorced! It was a little late for him to try and be my friend. All I can say is deal with him when you have to, and ignore him when you don't.

    Hope tomorrow is a better day.
  3. Confused

    Confused Guest

    Thanks KTMom91 :) I think a dinner sounds nice and yes, I agree things are different when the kids are home. My kids and I watch the ball drop every year at home with a glass of egg nogg or soda to ring in the new year.

    Wow, I can only imagine what you felt when he went up to you in court! Why do they do that? Thanks for your advice, I dont feel as bad now :)
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    For your own sake, and I know I've said this before, I hope you learn how to disregard what unhelpful, clueless people, family or not, say about your parenting. It really doesn't matter what they think, but that's a path you have to walk yourself. Like ex has any right to criticize you...jeeeeeez. It's almost amusing, if it didn't hurt you so. I really do hope you can learn some coping skills when you hear negatives from negative people...just because somebody says something, that doesn't make the words true statements.

    Onto New Years Eve. I don't like that holiday. First of all, I'm not a drinker and don't like the idea that it is mainly to celebrate by getting drunk and often driving in that condition so we never made a fuss out of it. Often I can't stay up until midnight...lol. My kids are older and probably won't be home. Hub also doesn't drink and usually it is just like any other day for/evening for us.

    I really get nervous thinking of Jumper on the road on New Years Eve. I hope she and her boyfriend just go to our house or his mom's house and stay there. They don't go to parties so I'm guessing that is what they will do.
  5. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    I would jut keep being polite and civil. Can't he call the doctor himself if he has concerns? Tell him to do that and you can stay out of it. In our class, a student's parents are divorced. The dad wants us to call him every time the child is absent. We never will because that dad can access the school website and can easily see his child's attendance. That is what it's there for and we're not getting involved, he can do it himself. If your ex has a concern about their health, let him hear how fine they are directly from the doctor.

    husband and I stay home, I thought we may go out to dinner tonight, but I am sick. My kids also stay home, there are drunk drivers on the roads.
  6. Scent of Cedar *

    Scent of Cedar * Well-Known Member

    When we had the kids at home, we would all dress up and then, we took them out for the full Chinese family dinner. It took like, two hours. They don't have restaurants like that, anymore, it seems like. First course was appetizers around one of those glowing coal whatever they're called. Then, all kinds of other good food. Finally, dessert and...fortune cookies! It was a great way to spend the holiday. If husband and I do go out tonight, it will be
    Chinese, too ~ but probably just a buffet.

    There is just something about chance and a fortune cookie on New Year's Eve.


    I don't know how I would handle an ex-husband looking to me for validation. That would be very hard to do. Though I might wish that I could be that nice? It would be hard for me to even be civil.

  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I have to laugh about the ex in a way. I think it is great if the ex's can be civil and even better if they can be friendly with each other for the kids sake. My ex feels or felt differently. Even though I had left him in 1982 and havent laid eyes on him since then, he felt he couldnt even text me back in 2005 when he wanted to have Billy go to his house in OH. I wanted to talk to him to make sure that he really wanted him to come and other things. He refused because "ex partners should never speak to each other after splitting up. Its not ethical." I texted him on Billy's account and told him I didnt know what he thought I would do while texting. If he thought I was still sitting there pining for him, he was sadly mistaken. Honestly I wouldnt allow him near me if he was the last man on earth!
  8. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Usually for New Year's Eve we stay in and order pizza. husband and I used to do this once the kiddos went to bed so we could enjoy it by ourselves. Of course, now that the kids are older they do it with us. We eat pizza and watch the Twilight Zone episodes:). This year, however, we were out of town having a different but fun New Year's Eve. Now that we are home we are doing it tonight instead (and still watching the Twilight Zone)!