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Just wondering, Have any of you....
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<blockquote data-quote="Sara PA" data-source="post: 9441" data-attributes="member: 1498"><p>I suppose that I should add to my report that one psychologist we contacted said that my son (psychotic on antidepressants) would get better only if he spent 6-12 months in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC). That was after a 45 minute interview. Sort of made me feel like it was a pat response to any mid teen boy who walked in the door. I never believed my son was chosing to behave badly, always thought that his deteriorating behavior was organic in nature but didn't learn until much later that it was being caused by the medication. </p><p></p><p>Instead of placing him in a Residential Treatment Center (RTC), we took him home. We had the advantage of being a two parent household which had been living on one income all along. We had the advantage of having no other children who were threatened by our son's violence. I was willing to deal with the violence directed at me because I knew it wasn't my "real" son but my sick son. And no one had answers for me that made me believe any hospital or facility had any ideas that weren't available outpatient.</p><p></p><p>He had to quit school for all intents and purposes in 10th grade. There was no way he could attend, either while in the violent psychotic state or the over-anxious agoraphobic state that lasted for years after discontinuing the antidepressant. He got his GED as soon as he was able to handle the stress. Fortunately he was bright enough that he didn't have to take classes, just the test.</p><p></p><p>There was contact with the juvenile justice system twice and I fought tooth and nail to keep him from being convicted and becoming a part of the system. I didn't think the system had anything to offer a sick child. He was not and would not plead guilty to any of the charges against him. The system officials wanted a guilty plea to "make sure he got the help he needed". Those words are meaningless. It makes it sound like there are answers for our kids and too many of us have found out that there aren't. Please save me from the well meaning who think alls ya gotta do is take your kid to the doctor and he'll get these pills that make everything better.</p><p></p><p>There were weeks at a time that I didn't leave the house unless my husband was home because I feared I would find my son dead when I came back. When my husband was away, I made quick runs to the grocery while my son slept, when he was in a good mood, or when he wanted something specific. If he asked me to go get him something, I was pretty sure he wasn't going to kill himself while I was getting it. Rarely was I gone more than an hour for years. Years. </p><p></p><p>My son is <em>fairly</em> normal now except for his incredibly low self esteem and high anxiety. He is trying desperately to function on his own. He has circled out and home once already and is leaving again today. I am sick with worry but sure he is doing the right thing. But he has friends where he is going and a support system of peers. </p><p></p><p>Our costs have included medical bills, home repairs, replacement of damaged items, lawyers fees, lost income because I was suppose to be going to work full time when all this started seven years ago. There were things we bought to help him try to leave the house on his own, like a nice car. There were things we bought because he couldn't leave the house on his own and needed entertainment like movies, books, video games and computers. There were costs for letting him follow the interests he developed while sitting home alone with his computer, the TV and me. There were the costs of moving him across the country, setting him up in his own place then back when he couldn't make it the first time. There were the costs of trips for him and me across the country. It sounds like we -- I (it's just me now) -- were spoiling him but we weren't. I was -- am -- trying to provide for his need to feel secure and strong enough to stand on his own like you would provide a wheel chair to someone who couldn't walk. </p><p></p><p>Was it worth it? I don't know. It will take years to know the answer. I just know that I made the choices that I felt were best for us. I did the best I can and am still doing it. I have surely made some mistakes. But there is improvement, slow forward progress. Every conversation I have with him I see improvement. Is it what I did? What I didn't do? Or is it just because he -- and his now damaged brain -- get older and more mature every day? </p><p></p><p>I don't know. I have more questions than answers.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sara PA, post: 9441, member: 1498"] I suppose that I should add to my report that one psychologist we contacted said that my son (psychotic on antidepressants) would get better only if he spent 6-12 months in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC). That was after a 45 minute interview. Sort of made me feel like it was a pat response to any mid teen boy who walked in the door. I never believed my son was chosing to behave badly, always thought that his deteriorating behavior was organic in nature but didn't learn until much later that it was being caused by the medication. Instead of placing him in a Residential Treatment Center (RTC), we took him home. We had the advantage of being a two parent household which had been living on one income all along. We had the advantage of having no other children who were threatened by our son's violence. I was willing to deal with the violence directed at me because I knew it wasn't my "real" son but my sick son. And no one had answers for me that made me believe any hospital or facility had any ideas that weren't available outpatient. He had to quit school for all intents and purposes in 10th grade. There was no way he could attend, either while in the violent psychotic state or the over-anxious agoraphobic state that lasted for years after discontinuing the antidepressant. He got his GED as soon as he was able to handle the stress. Fortunately he was bright enough that he didn't have to take classes, just the test. There was contact with the juvenile justice system twice and I fought tooth and nail to keep him from being convicted and becoming a part of the system. I didn't think the system had anything to offer a sick child. He was not and would not plead guilty to any of the charges against him. The system officials wanted a guilty plea to "make sure he got the help he needed". Those words are meaningless. It makes it sound like there are answers for our kids and too many of us have found out that there aren't. Please save me from the well meaning who think alls ya gotta do is take your kid to the doctor and he'll get these pills that make everything better. There were weeks at a time that I didn't leave the house unless my husband was home because I feared I would find my son dead when I came back. When my husband was away, I made quick runs to the grocery while my son slept, when he was in a good mood, or when he wanted something specific. If he asked me to go get him something, I was pretty sure he wasn't going to kill himself while I was getting it. Rarely was I gone more than an hour for years. Years. My son is [i]fairly[/i] normal now except for his incredibly low self esteem and high anxiety. He is trying desperately to function on his own. He has circled out and home once already and is leaving again today. I am sick with worry but sure he is doing the right thing. But he has friends where he is going and a support system of peers. Our costs have included medical bills, home repairs, replacement of damaged items, lawyers fees, lost income because I was suppose to be going to work full time when all this started seven years ago. There were things we bought to help him try to leave the house on his own, like a nice car. There were things we bought because he couldn't leave the house on his own and needed entertainment like movies, books, video games and computers. There were costs for letting him follow the interests he developed while sitting home alone with his computer, the TV and me. There were the costs of moving him across the country, setting him up in his own place then back when he couldn't make it the first time. There were the costs of trips for him and me across the country. It sounds like we -- I (it's just me now) -- were spoiling him but we weren't. I was -- am -- trying to provide for his need to feel secure and strong enough to stand on his own like you would provide a wheel chair to someone who couldn't walk. Was it worth it? I don't know. It will take years to know the answer. I just know that I made the choices that I felt were best for us. I did the best I can and am still doing it. I have surely made some mistakes. But there is improvement, slow forward progress. Every conversation I have with him I see improvement. Is it what I did? What I didn't do? Or is it just because he -- and his now damaged brain -- get older and more mature every day? I don't know. I have more questions than answers. [/QUOTE]
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