I have been thinking about how the records we keep about our kids.
Many of us keep mood charts, notes or journal entries on the difficult, mean and/or unpleasant things our kids do. (I do mean my family as well as all of your families.)
Even if it is just a file folder that we put all the notes from teachers in, or a special folder we put emails about our kids into. We DO keep records of the bad stuff or different stuff especially so we can spot trends in behavior and keep tabs on all that is going on.
How many of us would want to work in a place that only kept files of what we did wrong? Where our mistakes were legion and documented in great detail. We are the "Boss" of our family (including spouse in the "We") and it is up to us to set the tone. If my boss was always telling me I messed up, or going around behind me "fixing" what I had just done, and just being upset or disappointed in me, then I would be looking for a job I could enjoy and do well. I wouldn't feel good about myself or what I bring to the world. It would be tough to function in any setting after being demoralized that way.
How often do we record those special moments that melt our hearts? Even if it is just a "love you too" as they scoot out the door to go somewhere?
Would it be good to keep notes about positive things our kids say or do? Even when it is just that they didn't do something that bothered you? Where would the best place to keep these positive things? Same notebook as the negative stuff? Separate one? In our daily calendar? Written on small slips tucked into a box?
I wonder if this would be as useful, or maybe even more useful? to the psychiatrist and therapist when reviewing things - another way to track progress??
Maybe we can work on finding 2 or 3 positive items per day that we can write down?? Maybe after that we could work on 2 positive things for every negative thing?
We do not have to tell the kids we are recording these things. Just as we don't tell them we are recording the other stuff - each family probably has a different way of handling this stuff.
I wonder what changes we will see in OUR behavior toward our kids as we record these things??
I am going to start emailing myself in the evenings with things each child does that day.
Anyone care to join me??
ps. For a really cool gift for a Grandma or Grandpa you can write down cute things your kids do and/or say on small slips of paper. Then fold the papers and put them in a child's cup. I used one of those sippy cups with the valve that doesn't let it spill if tipped. It was sent packaged nicely in a box with a card that said each slip of paper was a hug from my child. The grandparent is supposed to read a slip or three when they are feeling down or just need a hug. I did this for my mom when Jessie was just 6 months old. She still has it, sippy cup and all, displayed on a shelf where she can grab a hug anytime she needs one.
Many of us keep mood charts, notes or journal entries on the difficult, mean and/or unpleasant things our kids do. (I do mean my family as well as all of your families.)
Even if it is just a file folder that we put all the notes from teachers in, or a special folder we put emails about our kids into. We DO keep records of the bad stuff or different stuff especially so we can spot trends in behavior and keep tabs on all that is going on.
How many of us would want to work in a place that only kept files of what we did wrong? Where our mistakes were legion and documented in great detail. We are the "Boss" of our family (including spouse in the "We") and it is up to us to set the tone. If my boss was always telling me I messed up, or going around behind me "fixing" what I had just done, and just being upset or disappointed in me, then I would be looking for a job I could enjoy and do well. I wouldn't feel good about myself or what I bring to the world. It would be tough to function in any setting after being demoralized that way.
How often do we record those special moments that melt our hearts? Even if it is just a "love you too" as they scoot out the door to go somewhere?
Would it be good to keep notes about positive things our kids say or do? Even when it is just that they didn't do something that bothered you? Where would the best place to keep these positive things? Same notebook as the negative stuff? Separate one? In our daily calendar? Written on small slips tucked into a box?
I wonder if this would be as useful, or maybe even more useful? to the psychiatrist and therapist when reviewing things - another way to track progress??
Maybe we can work on finding 2 or 3 positive items per day that we can write down?? Maybe after that we could work on 2 positive things for every negative thing?
We do not have to tell the kids we are recording these things. Just as we don't tell them we are recording the other stuff - each family probably has a different way of handling this stuff.
I wonder what changes we will see in OUR behavior toward our kids as we record these things??
I am going to start emailing myself in the evenings with things each child does that day.
Anyone care to join me??
ps. For a really cool gift for a Grandma or Grandpa you can write down cute things your kids do and/or say on small slips of paper. Then fold the papers and put them in a child's cup. I used one of those sippy cups with the valve that doesn't let it spill if tipped. It was sent packaged nicely in a box with a card that said each slip of paper was a hug from my child. The grandparent is supposed to read a slip or three when they are feeling down or just need a hug. I did this for my mom when Jessie was just 6 months old. She still has it, sippy cup and all, displayed on a shelf where she can grab a hug anytime she needs one.
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