Hi, some of you will remember me from last year. I kind of petered out on the posting but thought I'd stop in again now about our difficult child. Sort of looking for validation that my wife and I are doing the right thing. J had been sober since Feb. 07. Shes been living with us since last June. She had a job, made AA meetings almost every day, and generally was doing well. She paid all her fines and got her driver's license back, but we would not let her drive our car. We drove her everywhere. Over the winter things stagnated. No further progress towards independence was made. Meanwhile the stress level at home was rising as her living habits and transportation demands wore on her mom and me. April and May saw a regression. She dumped her AA sponsor and cycled through several questionable ones. She got involved with some guys at the fellowship, prompting gossip and jealousies. She switched jobs after 8 months washing dogs for a pet groomer, at which she had done well and become close friends with the owner. There were some times that her entitlement attitude (as in we owed it to her to give her a place to live and rides and such because she was staying sober) reappeared. This was all very gradual and spotty. There would be renewed bursts of activity and motivation, fewer and shorter as time went on. Even though the signs were obvious, the coming relapse crept up on us. A little over two weeks ago it happened. She had plans to attend an AA event in a nearby town. Instead, she called her supplier/boyfriend of three years back and spent the night with him, smoking crack and drinking. After she passed out he took what remained of her money and the next morning he dumped her at a c-store in one of the badder parts of town. She got her most recent AA boyfriend to pick her up and let her recuperate at his parent's place. I got her from there. I told her, "I am not going to give you an ultimatum that if this happens x number of times again, youre out. All I am going to say is this: you need to understand that we will not go through another downward spiral with you, so I hope that is not what is happening. She was remorseful and apologized and promised to do better, and she did, for a week. We had a long planned vacation trip scheduled over Memorial Day weekend. J was to stay home to work. Also, she had arranged to babysit for her friend Erica. J was supposed to stay at Erica's from Thursday to today (Wednesday) and use Erica's truck to take Ericas 7 yo daughter where she needed to go. While we and Erica were out of town, J took the little girl with her to another friends house, where a party was going on. She thought she would sit for a few minutes and have just one or two beers. Naturally, she ended up getting drunk. The friends took away her keys and made her and the little one spend the night (good for them, but they shouldnt have given her alcohol in the first place). And J was using and drinking with some guy in our house Wednesday night before she went to Ericas on Thursday. So we dropped the hammer on J. Told her she has to find someplace else to live. She will receive no money, no rides, and no room and board. She may visit her daughter (our granddaughter) at our house if she calls ahead and is sober. I told her that the only way she will ever be independent is if we make her be independent.