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Kicked out out class for 7 weeks for talking?
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 37848" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>OK, you have not been told of any previous problems at the time. Therefore for the teacher to raise them now, simply doesn't fly.</p><p></p><p>She is sounding like the sort of teacher who gives teachers in general a bad name.</p><p></p><p>To punish a kid for simply asking what song they're singing and especially to punish the girl who simply has the misfortune to be both the one asked the question, and the one standing next to a troublemaker, is extremely unfair.</p><p></p><p>it is possible that your son didn't want the teacher to talk to you about it because he is happy to be out of the class of an unpopular teacher. I would carefully ask your son, however, about the content of the talk his class teacher gave him. Don't specifically ask if she offered to talk to you, his parents, but simply see if he can volunteer the information. prompt gently, but don't lead the witness.</p><p></p><p>I have seen a version of this before - a teacher reacts out of anger and frustration (we're all human) and then has to uphold the decision or be seen as weak. Then the problem for the teacher escalates - parents get involved and the teacher ends up having to lie to protect her stand. Be especially on the lookout for a teacher making added accusations about your child, that he has been a problem all year in various ways and she is sorry to have to tell you this. it is a neat trick to deflect anger away from the teacher and back to your own child. I've seen it so many times - a parent marches down to the school to demand an explanation, little Johnny feels hard-done by and mother is angry at the injustice. Teacher neatly deflects, tells mother some nasty home truths about what her son has REALLY been like all year and then mother feels shame-faced to have been angry with this nice woman and angry with the son who put her in this situation with his long-term deception and bad behaviour, so she marches right home again and grounds him (or similar). Kid is left wondering, "What did I do?" and "No way am I ever going to ask my mother for help again."</p><p></p><p>Before you even consider getting angry with your son, do go through your records and make careful notes. Document EVERY email where she has said he has been good, helpful, kind, courteous. Document every email describing problem behaviour. Then check his school report.</p><p>In one case of the scenario I have just described, I had been asked by the mother to be a witness, since the problem involved me inadvertently. I was helpless as I watched the teacher manipulate my friend and was present when she chewed out her son for being a more difficult student than the mother had 'realised'. of course t he son denied it all indignantly, but since the teacher had planted the seed that ALL YEAR he had been dishonest, untrustworthy, not a team player, the mother didn't believe him.</p><p>Then over the next few days my friend calmed down. She checked his school half-yearly report (which had been issued a month previously). The teacher described the boy as being an effective worker in a group situation, very bright, conscientious and always willing to help (which is what had got him into trouble - long story, not here).</p><p></p><p>basically, when confronted in being caught out in mistreating a child with inappropriate discipline, the teacher had lied rather than admit to having made a mistake. She had deliberately made the mother angry with her son, for things he simply was not guilty of.</p><p></p><p>A teacher has a large number of students in her class. If some of the kids are unruly, this makes the job of teaching more difficult. The behaviour I just described is NOT typical of GOOD teachers; it is a tool of inadequate teachers who lack confidence and who are desperate to not let their fears and weaknesses show. </p><p></p><p>Such a teacher is a paper tiger. Find the paperwork to back you up, find all the opportunities the teacher had to pass on such vital information and DIDN'T, be fair and list the times she did, include the teacher comments from recent school reports (and any other written reports from any other activity) then go back and insist on some honesty. Have it all summarised in writing and be prepared to pass copies up the chain of command.</p><p></p><p>When she asks, "Tell me what I should do," this is passive-aggressive (typical of weak bullies). So tell her. It is a forty minute class. The classes are ALL unruly, so this is not your son's fault (not alone, anyway). If the classes are unruly she should sit in randomly to keep order. Once the kids get to realise that random visits are likely, they are more likely to keep their behaviour under control. But if a teacher lets that out of control behaviour continue, it will be harder to stop it and turn it around. Nip problems in the bud, never allow them to continue. It will give her MORE free time if she steps in early.</p><p></p><p>A lazy teacher is a predictable teacher. They give the same homework. They do the same things at the same time every day. A child reports an incident and the teacher deals with it as simply as possible. The simplest way to deal with a problem is to make it not to have happened. "It's just your imagination," or "He didn't really mean to kick you," or "Don't tell tales."</p><p>I know this last paragraph is apparently off-topic, but I include it to ask - does this happen in difficult child's class? Even to other kids? Ask him how morale is in the classroom, what kids do if they're being bullied. Listen carefully to his answer. You can't use the information except to help you build up a picture of how this teacher uses her free time. </p><p></p><p>Teachers do need free time. They have a lot of work to do in these times. A lot use this time for parent-teacher interview. See if you can schedule an interview with her for the time when she claims she is free from face-to-face teaching.</p><p></p><p>And now these kids have been excluded from the extra classes - who minds them when those classes are on?</p><p></p><p>If, after all your digging, you meet a brick wall, don't push too hard. Your son might not like the results. Maybe he is glad to be out of that class anyway.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 37848, member: 1991"] OK, you have not been told of any previous problems at the time. Therefore for the teacher to raise them now, simply doesn't fly. She is sounding like the sort of teacher who gives teachers in general a bad name. To punish a kid for simply asking what song they're singing and especially to punish the girl who simply has the misfortune to be both the one asked the question, and the one standing next to a troublemaker, is extremely unfair. it is possible that your son didn't want the teacher to talk to you about it because he is happy to be out of the class of an unpopular teacher. I would carefully ask your son, however, about the content of the talk his class teacher gave him. Don't specifically ask if she offered to talk to you, his parents, but simply see if he can volunteer the information. prompt gently, but don't lead the witness. I have seen a version of this before - a teacher reacts out of anger and frustration (we're all human) and then has to uphold the decision or be seen as weak. Then the problem for the teacher escalates - parents get involved and the teacher ends up having to lie to protect her stand. Be especially on the lookout for a teacher making added accusations about your child, that he has been a problem all year in various ways and she is sorry to have to tell you this. it is a neat trick to deflect anger away from the teacher and back to your own child. I've seen it so many times - a parent marches down to the school to demand an explanation, little Johnny feels hard-done by and mother is angry at the injustice. Teacher neatly deflects, tells mother some nasty home truths about what her son has REALLY been like all year and then mother feels shame-faced to have been angry with this nice woman and angry with the son who put her in this situation with his long-term deception and bad behaviour, so she marches right home again and grounds him (or similar). Kid is left wondering, "What did I do?" and "No way am I ever going to ask my mother for help again." Before you even consider getting angry with your son, do go through your records and make careful notes. Document EVERY email where she has said he has been good, helpful, kind, courteous. Document every email describing problem behaviour. Then check his school report. In one case of the scenario I have just described, I had been asked by the mother to be a witness, since the problem involved me inadvertently. I was helpless as I watched the teacher manipulate my friend and was present when she chewed out her son for being a more difficult student than the mother had 'realised'. of course t he son denied it all indignantly, but since the teacher had planted the seed that ALL YEAR he had been dishonest, untrustworthy, not a team player, the mother didn't believe him. Then over the next few days my friend calmed down. She checked his school half-yearly report (which had been issued a month previously). The teacher described the boy as being an effective worker in a group situation, very bright, conscientious and always willing to help (which is what had got him into trouble - long story, not here). basically, when confronted in being caught out in mistreating a child with inappropriate discipline, the teacher had lied rather than admit to having made a mistake. She had deliberately made the mother angry with her son, for things he simply was not guilty of. A teacher has a large number of students in her class. If some of the kids are unruly, this makes the job of teaching more difficult. The behaviour I just described is NOT typical of GOOD teachers; it is a tool of inadequate teachers who lack confidence and who are desperate to not let their fears and weaknesses show. Such a teacher is a paper tiger. Find the paperwork to back you up, find all the opportunities the teacher had to pass on such vital information and DIDN'T, be fair and list the times she did, include the teacher comments from recent school reports (and any other written reports from any other activity) then go back and insist on some honesty. Have it all summarised in writing and be prepared to pass copies up the chain of command. When she asks, "Tell me what I should do," this is passive-aggressive (typical of weak bullies). So tell her. It is a forty minute class. The classes are ALL unruly, so this is not your son's fault (not alone, anyway). If the classes are unruly she should sit in randomly to keep order. Once the kids get to realise that random visits are likely, they are more likely to keep their behaviour under control. But if a teacher lets that out of control behaviour continue, it will be harder to stop it and turn it around. Nip problems in the bud, never allow them to continue. It will give her MORE free time if she steps in early. A lazy teacher is a predictable teacher. They give the same homework. They do the same things at the same time every day. A child reports an incident and the teacher deals with it as simply as possible. The simplest way to deal with a problem is to make it not to have happened. "It's just your imagination," or "He didn't really mean to kick you," or "Don't tell tales." I know this last paragraph is apparently off-topic, but I include it to ask - does this happen in difficult child's class? Even to other kids? Ask him how morale is in the classroom, what kids do if they're being bullied. Listen carefully to his answer. You can't use the information except to help you build up a picture of how this teacher uses her free time. Teachers do need free time. They have a lot of work to do in these times. A lot use this time for parent-teacher interview. See if you can schedule an interview with her for the time when she claims she is free from face-to-face teaching. And now these kids have been excluded from the extra classes - who minds them when those classes are on? If, after all your digging, you meet a brick wall, don't push too hard. Your son might not like the results. Maybe he is glad to be out of that class anyway. Marg [/QUOTE]
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