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Kicked out out class for 7 weeks for talking?
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 37910" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I hope that last couple of lines weren't in your husband's email!</p><p></p><p>Otherwise, it's a good start. In any communication with the school you need to be calm, courteous (even if you feel they're not - set THEM an example) and state the facts. Then state what you would like as a resolution. Always make it clear that you understand their position as best as anyone could, but you feel that in this situation they have made a mistake. ALWAYS give them room to wiggle out of the corner they've painted themselves into.</p><p></p><p>You have two aims here:</p><p></p><p>1) Get your son back into the class; and</p><p></p><p>2) Make sure that whatever caused the problem is either resolved or not likely to happen again.</p><p></p><p>An apology is highly unlikely and to request one (even where you feel it's owed) is not going to help. it is more likely to have the staff band together in mutual support. Just think - if your child shouts at you during a tantrum and you ask for an apology (especially while they're still angry) will you get one? And if you insist, and MAKE them apologise, how is it given? Freely, happily? or grudgingly, in a murmur while they're watching their feet?</p><p></p><p>An apology given freely is the one to value. All others are worthless.</p><p></p><p>Always treat the education system like a difficult child about to explode. I personally consider the education system in our state to be autistic in nature - poor social skills, extremely poor organisation skills, an insistence on routine to the point of obsessive-compulsive behaviour, and poor communication skills in general.</p><p></p><p>I think it's very smart to go higher up. Also put your concerns in writing preferably other than an email. Be careful about your wording - this is official correspondence and will need to be kept on file (and keep your own copy, of course).</p><p></p><p>here is where you say something like:</p><p></p><p>"On xx/xx/07 Ms Y told us that our son, in the company of two other students, had been removed from class for 7 weeks. She said he had been disruptive and unruly (or whatever she said) and that he had been a repeated problem throughout this year. This was of great concern to us, considering the high level of communication we have enjoyed with this teacher this year.</p><p>We went back and checked all our communication and found absolutely no past notification by this teacher of her concerns of his problem behaviour; in fact, in the reports dated [and list and date the reports] she said'[put in exactly what she said - list it all, but keep it short and to the point]'.</p><p>I am deeply concerned that a class in which my son was participating and from which he was gaining academic benefit has been denied to him through what appears to be some sort of misunderstanding [give them plenty of wiggle room - they need it about now]. Not only that, two other students were also removed at a time when many others in the class, according to our son, were being noisy. My son claims [do not state it as fact or it will be challenged] that all he did was to ask the girl next to him the name of the song. She did even less, and has suffered the same fate. According to our son, there was a young man on the other side of this girl who may have been much noisier than others, but to punish innocent bystanders, as appears to have happened here, is inappropriate. Even for a child making noise, is this severe enough an infraction to warrant what amounts to a seven week suspension?</p><p>Please explain to us how such a suspension serves any purpose in the education of our son. In what way will this assist his learning? Why is it now deemed appropriate for a child to be punished for asking a relevant question (ie "What is the name of this song we're singing?")?</p><p>[You then put in some stuff about how in the past you have valued their support, their consideration, etc such as in accelerating your gifted child, then close with the following:]</p><p>We look forward to your considered reply at the earliest convenience and would value a meeting face to face with the parties concerned, including yourself, to facilitate a satisfactory resolution to this situation.</p><p></p><p>Your sincerely, etc."</p><p></p><p>I shouldn't be able to rattle that off so quickly, but we've had to do it for all four kids over their entire schooling history - especially high school, where misunderstandings seem common.</p><p></p><p>Fiddle with it to personalise it, make sure you refer to yourselves as a couple and don't use the singular first person ("I", or "me"). Describe him as "our son" and say "we think". This makes it clear that you and your husband are a united front on this - it needs to be clear to all involved, because, sorry to say, there is a perception that single mothers are more likely to give way to bullying school tactics.</p><p></p><p>Good luck. Stay strong - once you go down this path you can't turn back, so step carefully and make sure you can do it with confidence.</p><p></p><p>You're already off to a solid start.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 37910, member: 1991"] I hope that last couple of lines weren't in your husband's email! Otherwise, it's a good start. In any communication with the school you need to be calm, courteous (even if you feel they're not - set THEM an example) and state the facts. Then state what you would like as a resolution. Always make it clear that you understand their position as best as anyone could, but you feel that in this situation they have made a mistake. ALWAYS give them room to wiggle out of the corner they've painted themselves into. You have two aims here: 1) Get your son back into the class; and 2) Make sure that whatever caused the problem is either resolved or not likely to happen again. An apology is highly unlikely and to request one (even where you feel it's owed) is not going to help. it is more likely to have the staff band together in mutual support. Just think - if your child shouts at you during a tantrum and you ask for an apology (especially while they're still angry) will you get one? And if you insist, and MAKE them apologise, how is it given? Freely, happily? or grudgingly, in a murmur while they're watching their feet? An apology given freely is the one to value. All others are worthless. Always treat the education system like a difficult child about to explode. I personally consider the education system in our state to be autistic in nature - poor social skills, extremely poor organisation skills, an insistence on routine to the point of obsessive-compulsive behaviour, and poor communication skills in general. I think it's very smart to go higher up. Also put your concerns in writing preferably other than an email. Be careful about your wording - this is official correspondence and will need to be kept on file (and keep your own copy, of course). here is where you say something like: "On xx/xx/07 Ms Y told us that our son, in the company of two other students, had been removed from class for 7 weeks. She said he had been disruptive and unruly (or whatever she said) and that he had been a repeated problem throughout this year. This was of great concern to us, considering the high level of communication we have enjoyed with this teacher this year. We went back and checked all our communication and found absolutely no past notification by this teacher of her concerns of his problem behaviour; in fact, in the reports dated [and list and date the reports] she said'[put in exactly what she said - list it all, but keep it short and to the point]'. I am deeply concerned that a class in which my son was participating and from which he was gaining academic benefit has been denied to him through what appears to be some sort of misunderstanding [give them plenty of wiggle room - they need it about now]. Not only that, two other students were also removed at a time when many others in the class, according to our son, were being noisy. My son claims [do not state it as fact or it will be challenged] that all he did was to ask the girl next to him the name of the song. She did even less, and has suffered the same fate. According to our son, there was a young man on the other side of this girl who may have been much noisier than others, but to punish innocent bystanders, as appears to have happened here, is inappropriate. Even for a child making noise, is this severe enough an infraction to warrant what amounts to a seven week suspension? Please explain to us how such a suspension serves any purpose in the education of our son. In what way will this assist his learning? Why is it now deemed appropriate for a child to be punished for asking a relevant question (ie "What is the name of this song we're singing?")? [You then put in some stuff about how in the past you have valued their support, their consideration, etc such as in accelerating your gifted child, then close with the following:] We look forward to your considered reply at the earliest convenience and would value a meeting face to face with the parties concerned, including yourself, to facilitate a satisfactory resolution to this situation. Your sincerely, etc." I shouldn't be able to rattle that off so quickly, but we've had to do it for all four kids over their entire schooling history - especially high school, where misunderstandings seem common. Fiddle with it to personalise it, make sure you refer to yourselves as a couple and don't use the singular first person ("I", or "me"). Describe him as "our son" and say "we think". This makes it clear that you and your husband are a united front on this - it needs to be clear to all involved, because, sorry to say, there is a perception that single mothers are more likely to give way to bullying school tactics. Good luck. Stay strong - once you go down this path you can't turn back, so step carefully and make sure you can do it with confidence. You're already off to a solid start. Marg [/QUOTE]
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