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Parent Emeritus
Kids moving out, mixed feelings for me
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 655462" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Hi Origami</p><p>I went back and read a couple of your earlier posts to understand a bit of the circumstances.</p><p></p><p>I have a 26 year old son who is my only child. He is single, on SSI for mental illness, shirks responsibility and has been homeless. That I am aware of, his drug of choice is marijuana. As much as I wanted grandchildren I am grateful there are no children for whom my son is responsible.</p><p></p><p>I am in no position to give advice as I am learning to handle my situation day by day, as it changes, and I grow.</p><p></p><p>You deserve to take it a bit easier: to have your household back for the 3 of you, to have space for hobbies and relaxation with your husband. Problems will soon enough emerge (don't they always), so I would not go and look for them, now.</p><p></p><p>I am going to go to Alanon. Maybe you might think about that too so that you will be prepared to deal with whatever may come.</p><p></p><p>I too find it unforgivable that your son, addict or not, used drugs in your home. The risk to the children of their father's heroin use in their new home must be considered. Of course, your son and his wife are responsible, whether they take responsibility or not. And solving this for them in the long run...is it really in the best interests of the children? </p><p></p><p>Others have found a way to handle this issue...maintaining boundaries while taking a stand for grandchildren. I think I would bring this issue up at Alanon.</p><p></p><p>I look forward to reading your updates. Take care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 655462, member: 18958"] Hi Origami I went back and read a couple of your earlier posts to understand a bit of the circumstances. I have a 26 year old son who is my only child. He is single, on SSI for mental illness, shirks responsibility and has been homeless. That I am aware of, his drug of choice is marijuana. As much as I wanted grandchildren I am grateful there are no children for whom my son is responsible. I am in no position to give advice as I am learning to handle my situation day by day, as it changes, and I grow. You deserve to take it a bit easier: to have your household back for the 3 of you, to have space for hobbies and relaxation with your husband. Problems will soon enough emerge (don't they always), so I would not go and look for them, now. I am going to go to Alanon. Maybe you might think about that too so that you will be prepared to deal with whatever may come. I too find it unforgivable that your son, addict or not, used drugs in your home. The risk to the children of their father's heroin use in their new home must be considered. Of course, your son and his wife are responsible, whether they take responsibility or not. And solving this for them in the long run...is it really in the best interests of the children? Others have found a way to handle this issue...maintaining boundaries while taking a stand for grandchildren. I think I would bring this issue up at Alanon. I look forward to reading your updates. Take care. [/QUOTE]
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Kids moving out, mixed feelings for me
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