Klmno, have you gotten the new apartment? Kept your job?

Malika

Well-Known Member
That's good things are happening to make your choice clearer, klmno. I do hope it works out for your son when/if he comes to live with you in your new place. Just out of curiosity - what is half a bathroom? :)
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
are both bedrooms upstairs? will the computer be with you like a laptop or is it a desktop? To prevent the computer deal..do you still have your old computer, is that how you get here? I would hide the govt one just to be safe.
 

klmno

Active Member
The gov one stays at work (where I work) except when traveling, then I have to take it with me (it's a laptop). I'm reminding myself to take one step at a time- I'll have to travel for my job but hopefully, I can get the frequency cut down. If I can get someone to stay at the house while I'm gone to keep an eye on things, I can stop off at work and just get the computer on my way. If school is out of session, I'd hoped to be able to take difficult child on some of these trips with me. I'd have to pay his costs but, oh well. I guess I can make sure I don't do that until I see if he's really going to behave this time.

I have a personal laptop, of my own, and that's what I normally use at home. This TH is the less expensive one so I'm happy to be able to save some money- I'm going to need another car soon because this one is getting so old and I'm getting leary driving it on these trips. If difficult child isn't going to try, more money I have. If he is, then eventually he can have this old car, after I get a second one. But as far as the computer, and this TH- difficult child's bedroom isn't too big- it's long and narrow- and I am not going to expect his big body to fit into a twin bed so there won't be much rooom left. But my bedroom will be big enough for the computer in it, too. I'm going to have wireless- difficult child is old enough that I'm not going to sweat internet issues anymore. IOW, I can have a computer "station" in my bedroom but have wireless so if a laptop (or school computer) needs to be used downstairs, it's not a problem.

Oh- yes, both bedrooms are upstairs. There's only a great room (divided by a dropped beam for dining area), and a kitchen, half bath, closet, downstairs. You know how well special locks work with my son so I'm not going to bother with that either. He's proven time and time again to be a kid that when he's trying, he does his part and doesn't do this sneaky koi and typical rewards/consequences work just fine. When he's not trying, the Great Wall of China wouldn't stop him. So I figure, why bother. I want to focus on our relationship and the environment or whatever else might help keep him on track, but after that, it's up to him to choose which way he wants to go. I don't know any other way I can come to terms with this in my own mind.

I don't have him on medication insurance and while he doesn't really need it right now, I was going to try to slide without having it on him for a while and just paying for dental cleanings, eyeglasses, and a sick visit to the dr out of pocket. But, if he's going to be coming out of Department of Juvenile Justice on psychiatric medications, I'll have to get medication insurance on him somehow. That makes it a real simple decision as far as place to live- so TG difficult child had already told me this less expensive place was his preference due to being so close to the Y.
 

DDD

Well-Known Member
I know this sounds crass, klmno, but any size bedroom is going to be a heck of alot bigger than the space he has been occupying. For that matter having privacy in a half bath sure beats placement too. That's the least of your worries.

I'm glad that you are comfortable with your choice. Having difficult child prefer it also means that there will be no complaining. Sounds like a win/win to me. Hoping for the best. DDD
 

klmno

Active Member
Thanks, DDD! He's in a 8x10 room (they don't call them cells when it's Department of Juvenile Justice), has a small window, and a toilet and sink in there. He has one by himself right now so it's not as bad as adult prison. They have community bathrooms with private showers that they can access once a day. Given that we do need some area to do spend time away from each other, it would be nice if his bedroom was big enough for a desk and chair, in addition to a chest of drawers. I'm just happy if I don't have to walk up a flight of stairs or down a flight of stairs just to go potty. LOL! difficult child was fine withit either way.

He said all he wanted was freedom. I asked him what was the first thing he wanted to do with that freedom and he said "Eat real food, but Mom, you don't need to fix me a nice big meal like you did last time". (I had cooked him steak and crab legs and a birthday cake to make up for the birthday he missed..) He says he only wants to spend this Christmas with me even if he has to go to a group home. These people in Department of Juvenile Justice try to motivate these boys by telling them if they did well in this treatment program, they'd be home by Christmas. Then bozo PO shows up and tells difficult child that he won't be because he'll be going to a group home because I won't let him come home, even though PO would be fine with it. At least my son is mature enough to know that I have every right to feel this way given what he's done and doesn;'t appear to be holding that against me. Today he said it was ok- if he went to a group home we needed to work some things out.

I've called this landlord but he hasn't responded yet. I also checked online and there are 2 YMCAs near the other place, but not within walking distance. If something doesn't pan out with this TH, I'll jump on the other one, even if it's more expensive. I can drive difficult child to the Y or he can ride a bicycle, if it comes to that. I can't help but think looking out his nice BR window and seeing a pool is going to be more of a motivator than knowing one is 1/2 mile away if he's starting to blow a fuse. You know- the MH thing.

So I guess I'm saying I can adjust either way. I'm just sweating now because the landlord for the TH hasn't run his credit check on me yet and might be more stringent and check with this landlord I have now and Lord only knows what she'll say. The landlord for the nicer, more expensive place already approved me but he was showing the place to someone else today and I don't want to lose my chances with both. I emailed my current landlord last night and told her I'd be out by Oct 15 and only paid 1/2 mo rent. If I lose my chance with those these places, I'll be SOL.
 

DDD

Well-Known Member
Sounds like some baby steps forward from difficult child. That's great. I forgot to ask before are either of the units furnished?
If not (and I'm assuming not) then the smaller unit might save you some money in that way too. DDD
 

klmno

Active Member
Both places have the same amoutn of rooms- it's just the nicer one has bigger BRs and the private baths.
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
Bike should be fine. If he really shows motivation, a nice scooter would be a good step. Hey...for a computer, you could get him one of those disney ones I was looking at...they come with all the parental controls built in!
 

InsaneCdn

Well-Known Member
Hint on bike: the newer ones have "quick release" on the front wheel, seat and sometimes other stuff... which means, this stuff can "walk" even if the bike is locked up. Look for an older one where everything is "bolted" on... that takes tools to do, so less likely - AND older bikes are less of a target.
 

klmno

Active Member
LOL!

This landlord couldn't be slower if he tried. I heard from him about 8:30 last night and he said to email him my questions so he could respond to them this morning. On Sat he told me to call him with them on Sun. He responded to the questions about 11:00 and sent me a copy of the lease to look over , per my request. I sent him my app and permission to check credit at 1:00 and asked him to respond as soon as he could so I could schedule utility cut-ons, etc. Also, last might I told him there was a second option that I didn't want to lose my oportunity on. And today, at 1:00, I emailed a few questions/requests about the lease. One being to add the phrase "with min 48 hours notice except in cases of emergency" after "owner has right to enter premises". I still haven't heard any response from this. I'm getting ready to call him and let him know that if he can't commit to this by tomorrow morning and we sign lease by tomorrow afternoon, I'm going to have to keep looking and shoot for something else.
 

Malika

Well-Known Member
I'd be a bit worried about this, klmno, especially in the light of your previous experience. Last thing you want is more landlord trouble...
 

LittleDudesMom

Well-Known Member
k,
I can tell you that we tell all our applicants, after a photo copy of a picture id and the application fee, that they will hear from us within 48 hours (business days). Rental offices can get very, very busy and it cannot always happen right away. Doing the background check can take time, especially if he has administrative support who has others duties as well. We also do employment verification and check the local court's website to see if there are any "unlawfull detainers" or evictions on their record. It takes time..... When you are dealing with maintenance calls from tenants, lock-outs, court dates, showings, lease signings, applicant screenings, and so on, landlords cannot always fulfill the time lines of their prospective tenant. Granted you may have given yourself 30 days, but he could be dealing with 20 other applicants for units as well.

As far as the places go, I would make my decision on what is best for YOU. Certainly you have to keep in mind the potential needs of difficult child, but first and foremost you have to live there and be happy with your decision. I cannot believe an entire year has gone by! Have you checked to see if they offer a 6-month option? Just thinking about the potential job issue.

Sharon
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
Well before we decide the landlord is a flake, give him a chance. He could have an emergency in the family that prevents him from getting to a computer or has made him just have this slip his mind.
 

klmno

Active Member
This isn't a rental office- which I was glad about. He's a professional in another field and just has some rental property. He's a bit- well, old. Not that it's important but he doesn't seem to be ina rush about anything. He had a wedding in his family over the weekend so he postponed showing me the place from Fri to Sat, then asked me to hold any further questions until Sun. I understaood that. I had asked him in my list of questions that I sent this morning how long it would take to get an answer after submitting a credit/app. He responded "about 4 hours". He did call and leave a VM while I was driving to lunch to make sure I rec'd his answers so I don't have the impression that he's trying to diss me. I just left him a VM making sure he rec'd my app at 1:00 today and telling him if he wanted me to bring him a check for the app, I'd be happy to- I'd also told him that in my earlier email. But then I nicely added that if I didn't get an answer by tomorrow morning at the latest, I'd have to move on to my second choice. I told him last night that I'd already told my current landlord that I was moving out and expressed concern to him that I didn't want to spend too much time on one place, then losing both opportunities. I'd already told him about the BK last year and he was ok with that. I have no more bad marks anywhere. He understood the BK because his profession is similar to the one I was in.

Yes, I'd love for difficult child and I to both have our own bathroom, whether his is also the guest bathroom and entered from the hall or not. But, I don't think it's worth 300 more a mo and driving twice as long, getting stuck in rush hour traffic every day. And personally, I'd much rather have a little patch of grass in a fence instead of just pavement and a community pool.
 

klmno

Active Member
Sheww...OK, he just called and said he'd been tied up at work and it's a go! He agreed to add the clause in the lease and verified my other concerns so I think it could be a win/win. He owns the TH next to this one and it's currently empty right now,too, so he'd given me my choice and I picked the one that had a litttle shed roof over the patio and seemed a tad nicer in the living/dining area (for some reason I haven't figured out yet). They both have fireplaces- which was on my wish list. He offered to put ceiling fans in both bedrooms when I said that was the only thing I liked better about the TH next door- it already had them. And he told me he'd reward me (I assume by a deduction in a mos rent or something) if I found someone I work with or thknow well to rent that TH.
 

klmno

Active Member
The options were a 1 yr or 2 yr lease, for 50/mo less. The lease requires 3 mos rent due the owner as penalty if broken. Honesttly, that's the least penalty I've ever seen for a lease. This guy seems nicce and could possibly be willing to let me out of a lease if I found another tenant. If I find another job- and a few out there pay relocation expenses- it might be worth it even if I had to pay him 3 mos rent. I'm just saying that's the worse case scenario. I went with the 1 yr though instead of the two year but explained my contract job- he understands it- and told him I really hoped things work out so I don't have to move a year from now, again.

That being said, I'll still keep looking for another, more permanent job. If I find my dream job and they pay moving expenses, (if it's not in this area), it wouldn't be a huge issue to pay the 3 mos rent as a penalty if he wouldn't let me out of the lease.

Now, the first landlord who ran a credit check said my credit score wasn't really that horrible- not as bad as it could be given the BK but it had something to do with no judgements or liens against me throughout all that- my BK attny apparently did well with how he handled things and what he advised me to do. Anyway, I'm going to buy furniture on credit, then pull the money out of savings and pay it off shortly thereafter to start building a little better score. I have the money to just buy some, but I really need to work on building this up with less expensive things- before I go shopping for a car- and I'm hoping I can put that off for a few mos.

Another good thing about this place- this guy isn't charging a non-refundable pet fee in addition to a security deposit. I know it's the norm to charge them when a person has a pet, but whenever you ask why, they tell you it's to cover damage, cleaning carpet, etc, then they will turn around and take any cost for those things out of your regular security deposit- so it's really just additional money for no good reason, in my humble opinion.
 

InsaneCdn

Well-Known Member
So you DID IT?
When do you move in???
Do we get to see any pics? (inside - so as to not give anything away, of course)
 

klmno

Active Member
I'm shooting for moving this weekend- although I want to make sure I can get communications turned on by then. I'll call them 1st thing tomorrow am. I have to be out of this place and have it clean, etc by the 15th.

There's not much to take pics of but I will be taking a few for difficult child and I'll see if I can remember how to put them on photobucket.
 

InsaneCdn

Well-Known Member
Even if the communications stuff is delayed by a couple of days, you can still move MOST stuff this weekend, and leave minimal for later... and then live on minimal for a few days while you clean and scrub and such...

You must be excited!
 
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