Klmno..........how's it going?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by DDD, Apr 4, 2012.

  1. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I'm rather self absorbed lately but just realized there hasn't been an update recently. Hoping for good news. DDD
  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Hey! Things are moving at a snail's pace but still, they are moving. We still have no release date for difficult child but finally, today, the PO started making an effort to contact the sd to start coordinating a mtg with the hearing officer for enrollment. This resulted from me emailing him last week to "remind" him that Department of Juvenile Justice has to give the sd 30 days notice prior to release and it takes 2 weeks for Department of Juvenile Justice to send a recommendation for release thru their mtgs to get it approved, basicly meaning that a recommendation has to be in 45 days prior to the actual projected release date. PO had led difficult child to believe he could get released in a few weeks but now he's cut it so close (he still hasn't put a recommendation in) that difficult child will be lucky to be out by his late release date- which royally messes up the end-of-year school stuff.

    We are surviving the counseling. LOL! Actually, the counseling isn't bad- the guy is working with difficult child individually and there is still some question whether or not he's actually going to be addressing the trauma in the family- PO says he is; counselor says he's here to help transition us to community counseling; then counselor says he can help get into family trauma as a family if PO gives him permission. Whatever. The only time I'm involved is certain scheduled family sessions but the PO is requiring the counselor to chaperone difficult child and I on his day passees (4 hours once a week, so far and we've only had 2). I think that happened because PO went a month without giving any day pass and when I complained to counselor about it, counselor told PO that he needed to see us interact together, trying to help us, and PO then started allowing counselor to sign difficult child out and I meet them there. We are trying to get that improved now- a longer period and so forth. With only 4 hours and 1 hour driving time from home to detention center, I haven't even brought difficult child home yet.

    difficult child is still behaving well and doing well in counseling and in school, according to all reports. He got enrolled in that forum and hopefully, he can make it thru that. I think this is a much better chance for him to make it this time- better than he's ever had, actually. If counselor can stay involved long enough to get PO on board it will help.

    After the last family session, when the 'real' family problems came out, it sounded almost a guarantee that they are going to recommend family counseling for family trauma, which is what I'd been shooting for all along but PO's super kept acting like "they might permit me to do that" and I kept thinking that should be what they are requiring- instead of the typical behavior mod that just never worked for us.

    As far as moving- I couldn't get in a place last mo so I decided to hang that idea up for a while. I'll shoot for moving when it's more convenient but at this point it would monkey up difficult child's release. Oh- and when I took the car in for the annual inspection, they passed it but stroongly recommended nearly $1000 worth of work. That influenced my decision, too- especially with having to pay for this forum now.

    All in all, things aren't horrible but they'd be a lot better if PO would get off his control trip and trade the mind games for spending time on real transitioning efforts.

    Thanks for asking and thinking of me!
  3. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Yes, I've been wondering too....really hoping the counseling is ok and you were able to find a home.....How is difficult child?
  4. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Glad to read that at least baby steps are moving you guys forward. You both remain in my thoughts. DDD
  5. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Hey! I swear your post wasn't there when I submitted mine! Oh well. So, at least you have had some small progress.?! Im glad for that and the counselor being sort of ok. Hope PO for once gets his stuff in for school transfer. It still seems like he has no clue who difficult child is the way he sets things up (and doesn't set things up ) but its probably really the control trip you mentioned. Glad to hear you are ok. And oh yeah ....car stuff? YUCK