I feel a tremendous amount of compassion for those who post on this site. The response to parents' pain is measured, and wise, intelligent, kind, and borne out of hard-won experience. It's after 11 at night and I am sitting with two cards in my lap, both unopened and both from my son. One is a Christmas card I sent to him in prison, returned to me, stamped rejected and the other a letter from him. The level of my anxiety is testament to the trauma of my relationship with him. I don't feel up to opening either one. He is in prison for one year for dealing and will be released this spring. He is angry at me because I told him he at age 30 he cannot move back home when he is released and because I have limited my contact with him and have not visited him. It has been 15 years of hell, and he still has the power to make me feel like the bad guy and to go to a place of fear. As a survivor of childhood abuse, it still hard for me to stand up to abusers, especially men, especially my son. The support of this forum is invaluable to me.