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Know I will find support and compassion here
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 676308" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hi Acacia, I am so sorry for all of this, it is so difficult to deal with the pain, anxiety and emotion of it all. It is the same for my two, I do not think they have one iota of understanding or any sense of empathy for what we as parents go through. It is very lopsided and unfair. I think the more I understand this, the better off for me, to understand that my own children have grown up to really not give a hoot about their parents. Drugs seem to overemphasize a very <em>selfish </em>gene. I know the feeling when d cs are angry for our reactions to their actions........It is not like we are unfeeling, like we did't try, Acacia, I am sure, like most folks here, you have done everything in your power to try to help him get his life straightened out. It is too, bad, when our d cs do not get it, that their choices have created these consequences for them. It is not up to us as parents, to cater to our adult children, period. Especially, when they choose to go down a path of destruction for their lives. It is almost as if they expect us to hold their hands all through this, to the detriment of our own health and well being. NO, no and no.</p><p></p><p>You are not the bad guy, you are a loving mom, caught in the throes of <em>his</em> choices. HE is an adult, 30 years old, and must face his own consequences. It is beyond reason, our d cs feelings of entitlement. We gave them the best years of our lives, and they are <em>supposed</em> to launch. We are not <em>supposed</em> to rescue them, for the rest of our lives. I am sorry for the hurt and pain of it all. You are not alone. Many of us here, have been in the same place, soul searching our past, wondering about parenting mistakes, and feeling badly, when we set boundaries. It is healthy to set boundaries, and to not allow people to hurt us, <em>especially, our own adult children</em>. I am glad you are here with us Acacia. It is good to have a safe place to get all of this stuff out, the folks here, understand the pain and frustration of it all. Keep posting, and know that you are not alone, and we care. {{{HUGS}}} leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 676308, member: 19522"] Hi Acacia, I am so sorry for all of this, it is so difficult to deal with the pain, anxiety and emotion of it all. It is the same for my two, I do not think they have one iota of understanding or any sense of empathy for what we as parents go through. It is very lopsided and unfair. I think the more I understand this, the better off for me, to understand that my own children have grown up to really not give a hoot about their parents. Drugs seem to overemphasize a very [I]selfish [/I]gene. I know the feeling when d cs are angry for our reactions to their actions........It is not like we are unfeeling, like we did't try, Acacia, I am sure, like most folks here, you have done everything in your power to try to help him get his life straightened out. It is too, bad, when our d cs do not get it, that their choices have created these consequences for them. It is not up to us as parents, to cater to our adult children, period. Especially, when they choose to go down a path of destruction for their lives. It is almost as if they expect us to hold their hands all through this, to the detriment of our own health and well being. NO, no and no. You are not the bad guy, you are a loving mom, caught in the throes of [I]his[/I] choices. HE is an adult, 30 years old, and must face his own consequences. It is beyond reason, our d cs feelings of entitlement. We gave them the best years of our lives, and they are [I]supposed[/I] to launch. We are not [I]supposed[/I] to rescue them, for the rest of our lives. I am sorry for the hurt and pain of it all. You are not alone. Many of us here, have been in the same place, soul searching our past, wondering about parenting mistakes, and feeling badly, when we set boundaries. It is healthy to set boundaries, and to not allow people to hurt us, [I]especially, our own adult children[/I]. I am glad you are here with us Acacia. It is good to have a safe place to get all of this stuff out, the folks here, understand the pain and frustration of it all. Keep posting, and know that you are not alone, and we care. {{{HUGS}}} leafy [/QUOTE]
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