ktbug went out on her first

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by timer lady, Sep 13, 2008.

  1. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    group date last night (at the age of 14). I swear as I get older, the less fight I have in me. I'm sure you remember me saying a year or two ago kt wouldn't date until the age of 39. :bigsmile::bloodshot::crazy2: Couldn't stand the peer pressure. :nonono:

    kt, her special "boy friend" & a group of 8 other students went to the football game at our high school last night. The game started at 7, was over at 9. The kids hung out talking for 20 minutes & kt was home by 9:30 (curfew time).

    Their team lost horrendously 14-0, but the kids had fun.

    husband & I talked about this knowing it would come up. kt has matured & grown in so many ways that we felt she should earn some privileges.....this may be too soon. I'm second guessing myself on this one. However, she had the time of her life, hugged us & headed off to bed, humming a happy tune.

    kt knows the guidelines....what it will take kt to lose this privilege. She will still not be taking city buses or heading out on Friday's or Saturday's unless it's a group of kids & there is a planned activity (i.e. soccer game, skating, arcade, etc.)

    It's official - I've lost my mind. therapist, husband & several others have pointed out that kt is far more mature in many ways because of her hx in bio home. I point out that she is still my baby & needs to be protected.

    I was sure that the tweedles were going to be 12 until they were 20. That I was not going to acknowledge the teen years.....:dont_know::rolleyes::capitulate:
  2. Penta

    Penta New Member

    Congratulations to you, Mom for letting your girl grow up! Safe fun times in high school make memories that last forever.

    I love hearing that happy humming, don't you?
  3. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts


    I have watched you & your granddaughter closely. Followed your lead, if you will. kt is already planning going to cosmetology school & buying her first car. "I'll have to live here while I go to school if that's okay mom." I like her thinking & want it to stay that way.

    Stick around ~ I'll be picking your brain.
  4. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    It is just wonderful! And you are going through the normal 'mom of a teenager' stress! It gets harder before it gets easier. Eventually their age just forces you to give in. It is quite the emotional roller coaster - or at least it was for me.
  5. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Linda, it sounds like she is very mature in her thinking. My difficult child is 17 and hasn't thought about or planned for her future at all. Hopefully the next few years willl be smooth for both of you as she grows in so many ways.

  6. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Well Linda, your baby is growing up. Maybe by taking a different and more difficult path than the rest of us but she's doing it. And...it sounds like YOU'VE done a WONDERFUL job as her mom because she's doing it so well!!!! I never had too many of those "normal teen" times with difficult child so I must admit to being a bit jealous. But I'm so happy for her and for you!!!
  7. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    my rules were basically the same as yours (with the exception of the age 39 thing!!). easy child was not allowed to single date until 16. Prior to that, it was all group stuff. Fortunately, at that younger age, all of easy child's friends were into the big group thing - noone went out on "dates" at 14.

    Glad she had a great time. This is a wonderful time.

  8. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    I think that it is wonderful for her! I can just picture her smiling and humming...
  9. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    It sure sounds like you all navigated the "first date" quite well. I have very mixed feelings about Jessie wanting to date. My husband just leaves the room if the subject comes up. Lucky for us she is still pretty sure that the whole dating "concept" is "gross", LOL. Heck, she doesn't even like kissing scenes on tv

    It sure sounds like kt has a good head on her shoulders, and she probably will even use it, most of the time! All kids have slips, and somehow all parents survive these treacherous teen years.
  10. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sounds like a great first date for kt! Sounds like you are handling it well! I kinda like the idea of 39 for my difficult child for his first date-thank goodness he's only 11!
  11. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Ditto, Sharon! I'm glad she had a good time and it sounds like everything was handled smoothly. I dread the days coming up when I'm facing this with my son, but I hope it goes as well as this!
  12. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    What a nice post! Though I agree with the thinking she will be a baby forever! K told me she was in love yesterday... my heart skipped a beat. Not our little babies... I will be taking notes and "following your lead" Linda!
    You are doing a great job from this Cyber Aunties perspective!
  13. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Oh, god. Dating! :faint:

    Fortunately, Wynter thinks the idea is completely gross. I sometimes wonder if she's going to be asexual - as in, not a sexual being, not interested in relationships. I know..too soon to tell, but she's so against it. You'd have to witness it to understand.

    By skating, do you mean roller skating or ice skating? I remember the roller skating places being pretty dark. Lots of dark corners. Just sayin'...

    I'm glad she had a good time.
  14. Penta

    Penta New Member

    Tell kt to keep saving for that car! My girl saved all her birthday and Christmas money and most of her allowance for years and then put her earnings from her first part time job in high school in the bank. When she was 18, she bought her car and paid completely in cash from her savings. When she wanted to go to abroad last summer, she applied for a scholarship and had her tuition and living expenses paid for!

    kt will continue to amaze you with with her fortitude and goals she sets for herself. I am of the belief that intense therapy and the right medication can give some children inner strength to battle the odds.
  15. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    14 sounds about right for a group date, it's pretty scarey!
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2008
  16. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I'm so glad she had a good time!
  17. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    This is just the start ~ I know I'll lose something before this is all over. :) PCA, kt, husband & I sat down & set down some guidelines that kt & her "friend of the opposite sex" to follow. Old in home therapist stopped in yesterday to check in on kt & she helped as well.

    Pretty much common sense stuff - both sets of parents of phones number (cell, home, etc) on hand. We all know what the activity is & what the curfew is for each of these goofballs. Push friendship before romance. Yeah, right, Etc, etc, etc. It's not long - weighs pretty heavily on our kids making the right & safe choices or losing privileges.

    Thanks ladies ~ I knew you'd all get behind me on this.....even if I'm still not sure. Most of the time I'm okay...other times not so much.