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Last day of work and I am freaking out!
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 695218" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>CB, I wanted to write a bit about what is happening to me at work. I am thinking if we join together in this we might feel stronger and less alone. Last Friday the young male supervisor interrogated me for 15 minutes in front of other people, trying to get me to break--why? Because I did not go along 100 percent with his point of view. I could not go along with him, because it would have meant doing something unethical and more than this--it would be joining with him to break my own spirit, to be somebody less than I am or want to be.</p><p></p><p>There was another supervisor present who is also my supervisor, an older woman, 77 years old. We had been friendly. I understand why she did not intervene, and I understand why she was cool to me today, but it still hurts. All day today I expected to be dismissed, and I am mentally preparing for it. Not because I did something wrong but because I stood up for myself and for a patient I am responsible for.</p><p></p><p>I led a group today, of maybe 6 male prisoners. A clinical group. And I asked them, using myself as an example so that they would not feel on the hook. I said: <em>OK. We all agree that this is a scary place, designed to crush our spirits. Let us say that somebody treated me badly, and I could not leave. But I felt sad and I felt frightened. And I felt of lower power and value, because that is what the intention was.</em> (Because that is exactly what happens to them on a moment to moment basis.)</p><p></p><p><em>What could I do?</em> I will try to remember the answers:</p><p></p><p><em>Tell yourself that you have free will and that you can choose your response. That even if somebody treated you like an animal you could respond as a person of worth and purpose and dignity. That you do not have to be defined or define yourself based upon how others treat you. </em></p><p></p><p><em>Tell yourself that you determine your value and nobody else does.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>Tell yourself that even though you feel alone and powerless that G-d loves you.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>Remind yourself that there are people who love you.</em></p><p></p><p><em>Decide to hold yourself as valuable and worthy, regardless of what anybody does or says.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p>It is easy to abandon ourselves when others treat us as if we have less value or their behavior towards us makes us doubt our own worth. I them how much I cared. And I thanked them, for reminding me I was not alone. And that I would remember their kindness and their wisdom.</p><p></p><p>When all is said and done, we are all the same. It is the human condition that when people get power they seem to use it to distinguish themselves from other people, using other people just because they can. I wonder if our bosses would have been able to identify with somebody alone and powerless and scared. Like we feel, sometimes.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 695218, member: 18958"] CB, I wanted to write a bit about what is happening to me at work. I am thinking if we join together in this we might feel stronger and less alone. Last Friday the young male supervisor interrogated me for 15 minutes in front of other people, trying to get me to break--why? Because I did not go along 100 percent with his point of view. I could not go along with him, because it would have meant doing something unethical and more than this--it would be joining with him to break my own spirit, to be somebody less than I am or want to be. There was another supervisor present who is also my supervisor, an older woman, 77 years old. We had been friendly. I understand why she did not intervene, and I understand why she was cool to me today, but it still hurts. All day today I expected to be dismissed, and I am mentally preparing for it. Not because I did something wrong but because I stood up for myself and for a patient I am responsible for. I led a group today, of maybe 6 male prisoners. A clinical group. And I asked them, using myself as an example so that they would not feel on the hook. I said: [I]OK. We all agree that this is a scary place, designed to crush our spirits. Let us say that somebody treated me badly, and I could not leave. But I felt sad and I felt frightened. And I felt of lower power and value, because that is what the intention was.[/I] (Because that is exactly what happens to them on a moment to moment basis.) [I]What could I do?[/I] I will try to remember the answers: [I]Tell yourself that you have free will and that you can choose your response. That even if somebody treated you like an animal you could respond as a person of worth and purpose and dignity. That you do not have to be defined or define yourself based upon how others treat you. [/I] [I]Tell yourself that you determine your value and nobody else does. Tell yourself that even though you feel alone and powerless that G-d loves you. Remind yourself that there are people who love you.[/I] [I]Decide to hold yourself as valuable and worthy, regardless of what anybody does or says. [/I] It is easy to abandon ourselves when others treat us as if we have less value or their behavior towards us makes us doubt our own worth. I them how much I cared. And I thanked them, for reminding me I was not alone. And that I would remember their kindness and their wisdom. When all is said and done, we are all the same. It is the human condition that when people get power they seem to use it to distinguish themselves from other people, using other people just because they can. I wonder if our bosses would have been able to identify with somebody alone and powerless and scared. Like we feel, sometimes. [/QUOTE]
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