Last minute IEP called for MONDAY morning, my gut says...

Discussion in 'Special Ed 101' started by buddy, Oct 14, 2011.

  1. buddy

    buddy New Member

    difficult child's teacher called and asked if Mon morning (it is friday pm when she calls) at 8 is okay to have a full team IEP meeting to "tweak" things. Ok this is the team that meets every 3 weeks so come on...I am not stupid, this is not to tweak anything. Here is what she said:

    1. We have to talk about the cafeteria. It has "just" come to her attention that other than the issues during his "job" which has been on hold, he was not being safe in the cafeteria line.
    ---ok he has been OUT of the cafeteria for a week and a half. They also said he was not going to go back to lunch as we had discussed...huh???? NO, it was the end of the week for the throwing apple thing then this week for the blurting out in class thing, not another week for anything. The plan was to reintegrate him slowly at his old table and bringing the "peers" who have been taught about him to him. (I just got a call after pushing them to stop this, and stick to the original plan, they will let him in next MON)
    ---so if this is such a serious "ongoing" problem then why was it not discussed at the last meeting. couldn't be anything new because he was not down there. I asked the teacher, Aren't you UPSET that you just found out? Has this been every day or when the incident at the job happened (he had a cold and sore throat and is not good about covering up and then if they comment he will be nasty and continue to do it--the usual getting stuck ****) SO, she admits she is embarassed that she doesn't know why. I said, I WILL not be happy if this continues. She said, I didn't mean to upset you and I said you should be upset. How can we do anything if a behavior is allowed to continue (they know that anything that happens more than once is hard to undo with him, he is too perseverative, he will talk about it do it,no matter the consequence) and if you dont hear about it?

    2. His ONLY mainstream class (alredy taken out of art and was a sensory issue but art was because he painted himself), the teacher doesn't like that they let little blurt outs go by. Now, difficult child is snapping his fingers at people to get their attenton. He doesn't like that either. So much for this is a good guy who likes to work with kids iwth special needs. He likes the smiley DS kids who laugh and talk sweet to you. Not all special needs are this stereo-type. ARRGGGG So, they say it is too much for difficult child and we have to think of options.

    3. They want to change his LRE.....oh, it is only from "science" to another class when we are there. (he had under lre he would be mainstreammed in science but that was the end of last year and things changed for 8th grade, and she needs to change that, it could be a simple "significant change" form that I sign....doesn't require a meeting)
    Then she says this is really admin calling this meeting and to come to the table with ideas.

    I ask straight out...ARE you thinking they want difficult child out of this school? Response was... OH no,no, no.... that is not what we want for him. SO I said, well that was careful wording, do you mean admin wants that for him...She said uncomfortably, I didn't say that. Sorry, I dont believe it.

    Really, all this has happened since the trained behavor support team aide has left. I am doing all the medication. management I can, we are being consistent between school and home program, everyone says the plan works well for him...AND I have never in my sp. ed. working life had a last minute IEP meeting for small tweaks in the IEP. NO WAY I believe that. I called MN disability and updated my intake and the girl said she is going to email it quickly to see if she can catch someone, she was concerned too

    Luckily, I called our home program psychiatric and he said he will be there and that t his has to stop now. That they have to have the behavioral data all collected to look at the incidents, it can't be rumor and upset weeks later. He says to make sure we go with the legal aid if they will take us because he sees two separate issues, an admin legal issue and some communication break down in Special Education. He said he is going to advocate very strongly for them to revisit having the trained behavior aide ongoing because though that is more expensive, it is less restrictive than a Special Education setting and he has a strong peer program going on in his day that would be lost without being in this school.

    I am just sick and I know that I am going to have to work hard to calm and sleep over the weekend. Teacher just called again, I flat out told her my concerns and she said again, to tell the truth, she felt stupid when I asked her why she didn't know earlier. May not ahve been her fault, but he has a behavior sheet that is documented on every day...where is the problem on those? Are they really being done in all settings?

    What to do in the meantime???? I dont know...I dont usually feel paranoid but there seems to be a fine line between that and trusting my "gut" lately.

    In the mean time, our home program coordinator says that our psychiatric is planning his retirement. I didn't need to hear that.
  2. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Oh, buddy, I can sooooo relate. I am very sorry. It does sound like admin wants him out, just as ours did. It is such a terrible feeling and I feel so sorry for difficult child as well as you. If they are planning to punish him for something 1)he's already been punished for or 2)something that didn't happen TODAY, then absolutely refuse to let them. Tell them you'll be contacting an atty and walk out. If it is a new transgression and you don't feel it is legitimate, let them know it in no uncertain terms. I would make them prove that his transgressions are worth punishment that won't work given the diagnosis instead of teaching the appropriate skills.

    I like your home psychiatrist. With him in your corner, you just might win. Have you reached anyone at PACER yet? You might also want to get your area's Regional Autism Specialist on board. Someone from PACER should be able to help you find out who that is and give you a contact number. If not, I can maybe do some digging with ours and see if she can get contact info for me.

    {{{{(((HUGS)))}}}} to you both!!
  3. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Given difficult child's age, I think you probably should trust your gut re: them trying to move him.

    First off - you know they are required to provide you 10 days prior written notice of an upcoming IEP mtg. This calling on Friday for a Monday mtg is bologna. Since you already said yes, I'd go, but I would not hesitate to stop the mtg if it heads in a bad direction and tell them that since they failed to provide 10-day PWN, they've taken you completely off guard. The mtg will have to be reconvened and of course, you will need your 10-day PWN.

    Lots of thoughts going thru my mind. Lots of questions - is difficult child 14-1/2 yet? Has anything re: transition planning been started? While I know 22 seems a long way off, I think you really need to sit down and think about what he will need to be as independent as possible as an adult. Do you think he will be able to go to college? Work independently? Live independently? Depending on the answers, I think *that* is what should be guiding your planning for his IEP. Does that make sense? What does his current programming do to help prepare him for the future?

    Your psychiatric has *excellent* points - if the behaviors aren't documented, they can't come back X weeks later and say "oh this happened", especially if documentation is part of his IEP/BIP. I think the socialization is also extremely important. Unfortunately, in my own experience (and it is just one person's experience), the older my daughter son got, the more resistant the SD got in terms of LRE/mainstreaming (I'm being very kind to my SD - "hostile" to LRE would be closer to the truth, though still not quite there ;) ).

    In the meantime, I'd get the behavior sheets together and prepare to point out when/where BIP/IEP has not been followed. It sounds like, and this is just a guess, following difficult child's BIP/IEP has become a challenge for the SD and (sorry, my bias against SD's is showing ) it's far easier for them to move him than to follow IEP.

    Was the trained behavior aide in IEP?

    The last years of school are a *real* bear. Hang in there - deep breaths!
  4. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Oh thanks for reminding me of this, I usually collect copies (I like to share with the medicating docs and then I get to see too. That's how I caught one SD had locked him illegally in a seclusion room)!

    You guys are good, yes, I said I would only come if I could get psychiatrist to come too so that is why I agreed. and I havent heard back from PACER so I am going to follow up with an email to the one I worked with last year. It is on another really slow computer so I tried to just go the phone route but I am going to call again and do the email.

    I will pull up my big girl panties and do what you said, I will walk out if it is too off the trail. None of our meetings have included the sp. ed coordinator and last time admin said something even hinting toward a move, she said to him...well....that will have to be an IEP driven decision. I know many people dont like this woman but so far she has supplied tons of resources to difficult child. The trained behavior aide is part of the behavior support team. her job is specifically to go in and train the local school aides to do what she does. However, she spent 2 months with difficult child and the first three weeks of this year with him and things went fine. The two they trained were the two that were frustrated last year and felt he was just being rude and disrespectful on purpose. Even when their own Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) person and our Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) guy told them differently. Luckily (well not for the mom) our DAPE instructor's mom had a stroke and she is much like difficult child now, and DAPE teacher says she gets it now. That is not her real personality, it is like the breaks are gone and he just spews stuff out. This teacher actually kind of informs on the others to me in private so I can better advocate for him. She get VERY upset with the aides there at times. SHe has cried for difficult child several times when she comes to me. I am sure I dont know the half of it.

    So, I have now put in my phone a reminder to re contact pacer and to follow up with disability law if they dont call back by wed. I am keeping a journal of all my meeting notes and last time that helped, because as the principal told me difficult child was suspended I told him about the plan the team had to call me THAT day if things were out of hand and he stuck to his lame guns but did say he was going to talk to the staff so that this doesn't happen again. Of course it did in terms of the lunch thing now but....

    I hate that sharp ulcer pain I get in my esophagus over this. I have scleroderma and it has scarred my esophagus and it only hurts at times like this. Yuck. gonna go take an extra prilosec.

    thanks guys, feels like a friend is sitting in my room and really gets it.
  5. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    Oh the damage one stupid admin can do. I'm so sorry they are doing this to you and to difficult child. Do you think you are walking into a manifestation hearing? Sorry I might have gotten that term wrong. It sure sounds like it. You feel the IEP isn't being followed and would work if they would follow it. They will present that they did follow it and want him to have a change of placement. Typical politics and CYA. I hate this.
  6. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Well, in our last school district we already did that and back then it was found everything was a manifestation of his disabiity. Now it is years later but no one, not even the admin has ever said anything but "we know that this is all because of his brain injury"...etc. In fact this same admin has said in bus meetings that the bus driver and aide just have to deal with the issues because this is who he is and this is his disabiity. Luckily our psychiatrist was there for all of those meetings. No one has ever, except some of the ed. aides. and a couple of bus drivers--and they just didn't have the information-- felt that he was doing any of this on purpose. Of course, I know he can do some naughty things like any kid but these things that get him in trouble over and over and he is so clearly trying not to do them and is so upset about it, those things he is not doing on purpose for sure. I think people here just need to accept that he is doing the best he can do and our job is to help him grow to his potential not to hide him away so he doesn't embarass anyone or whatever. I get he is hard and I appreciate what they do for him, now get on with it. If we need to go to a manifestation determination I would welcome it. I already have had a psychiatrist, neurologist and pediatrician along iwth the psychologist who comes to the meeting all say they would testify on behalf of difficult child. No problem in that area. And then maybe the question of punishment versus teaching/appropriate consequences and interventions will be the main thing they think of too. Unfortunately with brain injured people a huge difference is that often you just have to try to avoid triggers their whole life. It is what it is, we will try to help him grow, there are still years of brain development left and hopefully what is left in there is not too damaged. I have prayed over that many times.
    I just love you guys.
  7. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Punishment vs teaching is the EXACT issue I had with admin all of last year! He kept saying "our school's discipline policy says....." and I would repeat to him "but federal law says.....". He hemmed and hawed a lot but was like a dog with a bone. My PACER advocate said she had never seen anything like this before. It was ridiculous. It wasn't until I went to HIS boss (a former teacher of mine-I went to school here too) and also threatened to go to the school board (all but 1 are people I have known well since I was born) that he began to even remotely cooperate.

    Sending my extra armor and lots of supportive {{{{(((HUGS)))}}}} your way. I'll send express mail so you should have them in time for the meeting. LOL
  8. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I will feel your energy I am sure, but if the armor arrives that will be a bonus!
  9. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Good luck at your meeting Monday morning...!