last night... academy award worthy meltdown...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by ksm, Dec 14, 2011.

  1. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    difficult child had a school choir concert at 8 pm. Got home at 3:30 and started getting ready for it. By 6:30 she had hair, make up and required black slacks and school polo shirt. She had an hour before we had to leave and we asked her about homework. Well... on Thursday she has a huge English assignment report due. She is behind. Would she work on it... NO.

    It was about this time that I see she is wearing DFES (Exchange Student) black stilettos that she had bought to wear with prom dress. When husband and I told her she had to take them off and wear her own shoes (black dress shoes with about a 2" heel) she thru a fit of epic proportions. Tears, screaming, slamming doors. Well, the tears melted all the eye makeup she had on and it actually dripped on to her yellow polo shirt. More tears because all her "work" on her make up was ruined.

    This morning I am drained. I understand that some of this is typical teen, but the aftermath of it isn't. I had a talk with DFES and explained that we didn't want 13yo difficult child wearing stilettos to school. DFES understands, as she is almost 17 and this is her first pair of high heels that she bought after getting here in preparation for a dance. She did wear them to football homecoming - but that is it.

    Going to call the school again and once more, plead for some type of help for difficult child in the school setting. KSM
  2. buddy

    buddy New Member

    did she ever get to the concert? Did she have to go bare faced? my biggest regrets are when I ask Q to do something right before a transition. I dont know why I do that... for him it is totally predictable there will be upset if I do. Even picking up little things. But the shoes, no way around that one. It is so great you held your own through that and stuck to the rule because for some, it could have been a ok, just this once kind of thing. I suspect for her it would be well, they gave in once ... I am going to do it again and again and again Is that how she is? Poor exchange student. How does she handle those kinds of meltdowns? I hope you can decompress today. makes family fun nights not so fun, huh? {{{HUGS}}}
  3. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    Did DFES allow difficult child to borrow the shoes, or did difficult child just take them? Either way, her reaction was way over the top. I'm sorry it was a bad night.
  4. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    difficult child asked DFES to borrow the shoes... DFES asked difficult child if it was ok with us... and of course difficult child said it was fine. Uhh... NO! Then this morning I gave my own award winning performance after another terrible morning. She kept yelling and screaming that she only has ONE PAIR OF BOOTS! So I took her Christmas present and tossed it in the room and told her Merry Christmas. So I definitely get a Razberry award for losing it. I was exhausted from last nights encore performance and then wake up to it today too. I have just had it. KSM
  5. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    I don't blame you for being exhausted. It's bad enough to have a night like that, but then to have it roll over in to the next morning is the worst!!

    Maybe she'll be in a better mood when she gets home from school?
  6. buddy

    buddy New Member

    ON christmas eve, Just put the boots in a brown paper bag, maybe a bow and a marker that says merry christmas, just to remind her..... what you did was fine, no biggie.

    those are the real UGGGGGGG boots
  7. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    I think that our difficult children all need to understand that there are kids in the world who would kill to have one pair of boot because they have nothing on their feet.
  8. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Don't be so hard on the difficult children.
    I think most kids in the western world need to understand... just how much they really have.

    Come to think of it, many adults don't really get that point either!
  9. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Many years ago when I was in college, I became friends with a Nigerian exchange student. We were chatting over lunch one day about what it was like for him growing up in Nigeria.

    He said something to me that has resonated to this day: "You have the richest poor people I've ever seen!"
  10. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    You are right - we had an exchange student from the Ukraine who came to the states on a scholarship program. I never realized that the reason she was always under foot was that she had never had her own room, had spent the first 16 years of her life sharing a living room with her parents. It was also their bedroom. She had never slept in another room away from her parents all her life. It took a long time for her to get used to having a room.