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Last night he said "no contact." He called this morning.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 663544" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Copa...nobody knows what the future holds. I think the only way it will get better is if it de-escalates and that limiting contact is a good idea for both of you. Not talking. He isn't listening. It gives him a forum to get on his soap box and tell you how wrong you are. But time can often mellow things out and change people. Look at how Child of Mine's son is slowly turning it around...I followed her story and did not really think he would do it, but he is doing it. I am guessing he will be better with her as he matures. She would have to tell you more about it, but he has been in a very bad place and is improving things.</p><p></p><p>As for how you do this, I don't know as I don't only have one child. But as you know well I have had to do it with almost my entire family of origin. It usually was with my sister, whom I really wanted to be close to, but she would come and go, like the wind. You know the story. I would feel horrible for a time, then it would fade and get better. Time is a great healer. I know you are thinking that the final break has a bad ending, but remember that we are older and your son is really just a young man. His life can change dramatically. HE can change dramatically. His attitude toward you could change dramatically. </p><p></p><p>Once anyone in your life is only talking to you to ask for something from you, your relationship is already on life support for the moment. When you stop talking about anything interesting and fun, you are already not able to communicate. But that doesn't mean that you never will.</p><p></p><p>In the meantime, please, please take care of YOU. Go ahead with your plans to take care of yourself as your son is too old for you to help him if he doesn't want help. </p><p></p><p>If you are like me, you want everything to change NOW. But I have learned that change happens, but it is usually gradual and those of us without patience are out of luck. We have to learn to find peace while we wait and see how our life's path will turn out. </p><p></p><p>Sure socks. I wish we could have it NOW!</p><p></p><p>Take care of yourself. You have done all you can for your son. Tell M to remember always to lock the doors.</p><p></p><p>Hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 663544, member: 1550"] Copa...nobody knows what the future holds. I think the only way it will get better is if it de-escalates and that limiting contact is a good idea for both of you. Not talking. He isn't listening. It gives him a forum to get on his soap box and tell you how wrong you are. But time can often mellow things out and change people. Look at how Child of Mine's son is slowly turning it around...I followed her story and did not really think he would do it, but he is doing it. I am guessing he will be better with her as he matures. She would have to tell you more about it, but he has been in a very bad place and is improving things. As for how you do this, I don't know as I don't only have one child. But as you know well I have had to do it with almost my entire family of origin. It usually was with my sister, whom I really wanted to be close to, but she would come and go, like the wind. You know the story. I would feel horrible for a time, then it would fade and get better. Time is a great healer. I know you are thinking that the final break has a bad ending, but remember that we are older and your son is really just a young man. His life can change dramatically. HE can change dramatically. His attitude toward you could change dramatically. Once anyone in your life is only talking to you to ask for something from you, your relationship is already on life support for the moment. When you stop talking about anything interesting and fun, you are already not able to communicate. But that doesn't mean that you never will. In the meantime, please, please take care of YOU. Go ahead with your plans to take care of yourself as your son is too old for you to help him if he doesn't want help. If you are like me, you want everything to change NOW. But I have learned that change happens, but it is usually gradual and those of us without patience are out of luck. We have to learn to find peace while we wait and see how our life's path will turn out. Sure socks. I wish we could have it NOW! Take care of yourself. You have done all you can for your son. Tell M to remember always to lock the doors. Hugs. [/QUOTE]
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Last night he said "no contact." He called this morning.
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