Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Last night he said "no contact." He called this morning.
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 663549" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I just had an insight.</p><p></p><p>Like most of the parents on this board I am filled with love for my son.</p><p></p><p>For the past number of years that love has been used against me to extract concessions, rewards, to punish and manipulate me and to hold me responsible for that which I am not.</p><p></p><p>The love that I have maintained for my son has long been inappropriate. I see that now. Because he never matured, I have kept loving him as if he were still a child.</p><p></p><p>All of that unsuitable love can now be redirected somewhere where it will not any longer be used against me, and can be harnessed for constructive relationships including the one I have with myself.</p><p></p><p>I am not saying I do not love my son. What I will do is disengage from the infantile son. While I do not yet know how, I will learn how to love my son appropriately as an adult.</p><p></p><p>Seeing that I was powerless over my son's liver, was my bottom. His refusing even the idea of a cure, if one were available, took all hope away of influencing him about anything.</p><p></p><p>My son has no claim on me anymore. None. There is no service, no help, that I can give him that is not available in the public sector. It has come to that.</p><p></p><p>If he wants to talk and to remain civil, I am here. Nothing more.</p><p></p><p>We are stripped to the bare essence of things: To him I am nobody who deserves respect. Given this, my son can seek what he wants elsewhere.</p><p></p><p>If one day he decides he wants a different kind of relationship, I will hear him out.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 663549, member: 18958"] I just had an insight. Like most of the parents on this board I am filled with love for my son. For the past number of years that love has been used against me to extract concessions, rewards, to punish and manipulate me and to hold me responsible for that which I am not. The love that I have maintained for my son has long been inappropriate. I see that now. Because he never matured, I have kept loving him as if he were still a child. All of that unsuitable love can now be redirected somewhere where it will not any longer be used against me, and can be harnessed for constructive relationships including the one I have with myself. I am not saying I do not love my son. What I will do is disengage from the infantile son. While I do not yet know how, I will learn how to love my son appropriately as an adult. Seeing that I was powerless over my son's liver, was my bottom. His refusing even the idea of a cure, if one were available, took all hope away of influencing him about anything. My son has no claim on me anymore. None. There is no service, no help, that I can give him that is not available in the public sector. It has come to that. If he wants to talk and to remain civil, I am here. Nothing more. We are stripped to the bare essence of things: To him I am nobody who deserves respect. Given this, my son can seek what he wants elsewhere. If one day he decides he wants a different kind of relationship, I will hear him out. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Last night he said "no contact." He called this morning.
Top