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Last Night The Devil Showed In My Dream,This Morning Heck Broke Lose
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<blockquote data-quote="nlj" data-source="post: 644974" data-attributes="member: 17650"><p>I think this addiction to i-pads etc is a common story. If her father is an alcoholic maybe she has inherited his addictive personality. But all this is just speculation. What is her behaviour like when she is <em>in</em> school? So she hates PE and says she has no friends. It's tough to be in that situation. What does the school say? - other than she will be withdrawn because she's not attending? What feedback do you get from the school and what are they doing to make school a more positive experience for her? I don't think I agree with the suggestion that you are giving in to a whiney child by not sending her to school. I'm 53 now and still do not forgive my mother for taking no notice of how unhappy I was in school and not doing anything about it. It coloured my life. Are you sure she's not being bullied in some way? Just because she's in small classes and isn't being bullied in class - bullying doesn't happen in class times, it's all the other times when there isn't a teacher to watch. What options are there - for you and her - if she is withdrawn?</p><p></p><p>Their anger about their father is understandable I suppose. Maybe she has a point about not wanting to have much to do with him. If you reread your description of him - I wouldn't be keen to spend time with him! Him dropping in unannounced and whenever he feels like it might be scary for your kids. It could add to their chaotic feelings and maybe be something that they worry about. I would stop that happening. If he wants to see the children then you need to arrange that properly and you need to be in control of that.</p><p></p><p>I think maybe you are in the middle of such a lot of stress that you are just trying to survive from day-to-day and aren't thinking about the whole picture or what you can change to make your life more acceptable. You need to get some support for <em>you</em> don't you think? It's easy to lose sight of who we are and what our life is worth when we are just living for other people and tolerating abusive behaviour. It's not easy to stop though. It takes a lot of effort and people to help us - whether that is physical help or even just reading about ways to change. I wish I could give you a hug and make you a pot of tea and tell you to start thinking of yourself and looking after yourself. Do you have friends who are there for you? My friends have always been a lot more useful and sympathetic than my family!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="nlj, post: 644974, member: 17650"] I think this addiction to i-pads etc is a common story. If her father is an alcoholic maybe she has inherited his addictive personality. But all this is just speculation. What is her behaviour like when she is [I]in[/I] school? So she hates PE and says she has no friends. It's tough to be in that situation. What does the school say? - other than she will be withdrawn because she's not attending? What feedback do you get from the school and what are they doing to make school a more positive experience for her? I don't think I agree with the suggestion that you are giving in to a whiney child by not sending her to school. I'm 53 now and still do not forgive my mother for taking no notice of how unhappy I was in school and not doing anything about it. It coloured my life. Are you sure she's not being bullied in some way? Just because she's in small classes and isn't being bullied in class - bullying doesn't happen in class times, it's all the other times when there isn't a teacher to watch. What options are there - for you and her - if she is withdrawn? Their anger about their father is understandable I suppose. Maybe she has a point about not wanting to have much to do with him. If you reread your description of him - I wouldn't be keen to spend time with him! Him dropping in unannounced and whenever he feels like it might be scary for your kids. It could add to their chaotic feelings and maybe be something that they worry about. I would stop that happening. If he wants to see the children then you need to arrange that properly and you need to be in control of that. I think maybe you are in the middle of such a lot of stress that you are just trying to survive from day-to-day and aren't thinking about the whole picture or what you can change to make your life more acceptable. You need to get some support for [I]you[/I] don't you think? It's easy to lose sight of who we are and what our life is worth when we are just living for other people and tolerating abusive behaviour. It's not easy to stop though. It takes a lot of effort and people to help us - whether that is physical help or even just reading about ways to change. I wish I could give you a hug and make you a pot of tea and tell you to start thinking of yourself and looking after yourself. Do you have friends who are there for you? My friends have always been a lot more useful and sympathetic than my family! [/QUOTE]
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