First, I woke at 3a.m. this morning and couldn't remember going to the IEP meeting yesterday and thought about what I did and realized I just missed the whole thing....then as I woke more I remembered it was on Wed. and I of course went, man....my heart was so racing! So, this meeting went better than the one after the first month in the new school. They report they have implemented several of the changes we suggested. The days are much more routine now and I think bottom line, what I said would likely happen...he is more comfortable in the new site. It is not all so new. But what did I know??? duh. The advocate was more civil but still pretty angry. They were again out of compliance in that they did not ever respond to the independent fba request and in fact they felt they didn't need it but I said again, that while I hear now you are saying you are committed to working things out at this site, it was made very clear that if there was a behavior that the principal felt was crossing a line then that could all change and he could overnight have to leave. I wanted to avoid that and to still have a specific fba to the behaviors that they felt would be a risk for that. Lets document what works now, what they are concerned about etc. When asked if there has been more property damage the teacher said well no more....X, Y, Z...what the heck, you trying to rehash things? Just say no if it is no. That was frustrating. I finally interrupted and said by the data you have given me (yes I kept it on a calendar) he has had 2 incidences of minor X and 6 of verbal Y. Is that correct (see if he said no then that meant he was lying to me all this time.) So the good news is he is still doing well at his afternoon "job" which he gets paid for. He now got a "promotion" and he is very proud. He is working in the cafeteria after everyone is gone, cleaning the trays up, sweeping, doing tables etc. He got a raise and is very proud. There was a fight in the lunch room a week ago and everyone said he handled it beautifully and did not act it out himself as he usually does later. Even the principal addressed him personally and said he did a great job (and Q told me that! he usually doesn't tell me anything they say to him, I think he felt really good about himself, but also was nervous about the fight. They do need to realize that he acts tough when he is actually scared---one teacher said it is like he puffs up like a porcupine). They still have not worked out the out of school work experience piece and Quin is settled into the reality that what they promised will not happen. He knows there is a chance for other opportunities and is holding onto that. He is getting all his school work done and his periodic IEP review said he made progress on each one of his goals! His speech therapist loves him and said she is hitting all fronts. He likes to do everything with her. It has been three years since he has connected with a speech therapist like that and I have to say I really liked her too. She is working beyond the traditional social skills stuff and working on memory and strategies for approaching work, etc. More brain injury rehab stuff. (and I had to fight for that, they said they wanted to switch to consult speech because they work on language so much...sorry, there are things she is trained to look for and do that they are simply not trained to do. I feel the same for Occupational Therapist (OT) and have yet to get that thru but the Occupational Therapist (OT) has set up a whole bunch of new stuff for him and it is working...they even created a whole exercise area in their class so less transitions. They have a system of looking out in the halls before transitioning with him and then make excuses if they can't leave yet and he has gotten right into the routine. They said they didn't realize how routine bound he was...again, what did I know??? uggg. but they got it now. we have had zero issues with his transitioning to me since the first day. (there was one day he didn't expect me and I was outside of the car the very first week, and that was not good but he calmed quickly and there has been nothing since. I always have JJ with me now and so there has been nothing but joy or at least no upset. (OH GOSH am I setting myself up for the board curse with that one! everyone erase that from your minds....lets collectively knock wood!) So, I hold my breath. Do I trust that they now are really going to keep him?? NOPE. We agreed that their in house behavior person will start an fba and our district made it clear that at any time if we want the other person there there will be no argument. And the reason I am not so worried about that piece even though the advocate is very upset, is because Q will have this project going on with the university and dhs....and that gives us ongoing positive behavior analysis and it sounds like the school is willing to join in. I hope they will (they say they need permission from the super. but why in heck would they turn down that kind of inter departmental cooperation for the sake of a child. ??? Our home psychiatric put it so well to all of them and also helped them see that what they are doing is great but not the end of it, because we were in this place at our old school and one issue turned it all around. We were trying to be proactive and not have that happen again. They got his point. Man, he is good. Anyway, so here we are in our new home, thanks to Ktllc and her husband as well as many of you being so supportive and the school issues are doable for now, and the doggie is doing well, and even at home, we have had a few issues but mostly not as intense. I did go off on him after an especially bad day in a store, and interestingly he has been better since I told him exactly how i felt at that time. He knows I was dead serious and though he still is himself, he seems to follow my redirection better. I am excited for them to help me with my own inconsistencies and ideas .....I hope that I am good enough to embrace their ideas. We are dealing with holiday stress as usual. He is worried about Santa but it is nothing like last year and we will have a nice Christmas. I think back on last year and again this year, I want to thank those of you who have been so incredibly supportive and helped hold my hand through some really tricky things. The generosity of people on this board, from words to deeds, is unbelievable. How I got so lucky to meet you all???? Thanks never seems like enough.