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Latest on my difficult son
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 703724" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Hi Concerned Mom & Dad, I'm sorry you're going through all of this right now.</p><p></p><p>My son used energy drinks a lot too, and I saw nothing but bad from them. For people who are addiction-prone and are using alcohol, weed and other drugs, I think cigarettes and energy drinks are just more addictive behaviors on the list for them. Even coffee. They are always trying to "feel different" than they feel. They are always self-medicating. </p><p></p><p>Most of our kids are very uncomfortable in their own skins, for many different reasons. To cope, they self-medicate.</p><p></p><p>I would suggest that most of the people in the world self-medicate with so many things, including most of us. Work, exercise, success, other people's troubles, etc. It's all unhealthy and it's all just to cope with the harshness between our own ears and in the world at large.</p><p></p><p>Having said that, I finally got to the point where I said I'm not buying any cigarettes and I'm not buying any energy drinks. This stuff is really bad for you. I'm not going to be a part of it.</p><p></p><p>I don't know if that's right or not. I used to agonize over these types of things. Once I decided, then I revisited it over and over again in my own mind. </p><p></p><p>18 year old boys are a tough nut to crack, on their best day. You are seeing what lack of sleep, refusal to take medication, etc., do in just a few days. I read on your other thread that he struggles with suicide ideation.</p><p></p><p>My son used to threaten suicide all the time when he was using drugs. He too had anxiety and depression and still does, at times.</p><p></p><p>Does your son play sports? Is this an option? </p><p></p><p>I agree that you want him to keep working. I understand the car, he has to get back and forth, but can you take away the phone? Does he have to have the phone to work? </p><p></p><p>We have to have some leverage over them. We have to find it somehow. That still may not matter, but watching someone who is making bad decisions just keep on and on, and we feel helpless to affect a single thing, while they are living in our house...isn't good for them or for us.</p><p></p><p>We're here for you. This is all very complicated, and we realize that. Warm hugs today.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 703724, member: 17542"] Hi Concerned Mom & Dad, I'm sorry you're going through all of this right now. My son used energy drinks a lot too, and I saw nothing but bad from them. For people who are addiction-prone and are using alcohol, weed and other drugs, I think cigarettes and energy drinks are just more addictive behaviors on the list for them. Even coffee. They are always trying to "feel different" than they feel. They are always self-medicating. Most of our kids are very uncomfortable in their own skins, for many different reasons. To cope, they self-medicate. I would suggest that most of the people in the world self-medicate with so many things, including most of us. Work, exercise, success, other people's troubles, etc. It's all unhealthy and it's all just to cope with the harshness between our own ears and in the world at large. Having said that, I finally got to the point where I said I'm not buying any cigarettes and I'm not buying any energy drinks. This stuff is really bad for you. I'm not going to be a part of it. I don't know if that's right or not. I used to agonize over these types of things. Once I decided, then I revisited it over and over again in my own mind. 18 year old boys are a tough nut to crack, on their best day. You are seeing what lack of sleep, refusal to take medication, etc., do in just a few days. I read on your other thread that he struggles with suicide ideation. My son used to threaten suicide all the time when he was using drugs. He too had anxiety and depression and still does, at times. Does your son play sports? Is this an option? I agree that you want him to keep working. I understand the car, he has to get back and forth, but can you take away the phone? Does he have to have the phone to work? We have to have some leverage over them. We have to find it somehow. That still may not matter, but watching someone who is making bad decisions just keep on and on, and we feel helpless to affect a single thing, while they are living in our house...isn't good for them or for us. We're here for you. This is all very complicated, and we realize that. Warm hugs today. [/QUOTE]
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