difficult child came over yesterday for a short while. I'm grateful it was uneventful. I had texted him beforehand that I was on my way to pick him up. Just mentioned he was welcome to bring dirty laundry. He has NEVER done that before, instead opting to wear dirty clothes (part of the mental issues.) So, I was surprised to see him with a large tote full of dirty clothes. I just started doing them. Strange feeling....broke down in tears. Wanted to hug the clothes. I just miss the person he used to be so very much. I cannot even have a normal empty nest/child moving into the dorm experience. I feel so personally cheated. I know that is selfish even everything else that is going on with my difficult child and everyone else's. AS for him, he is extremely bright. The psychiatrist last week talked about that. He has a 4.0 GPA. Could do anything he wanted. IF he can only stop drinking and get his mind straight. Which I know I can do absolutely nothing about except for changing my behavior. Just wanted to share.