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Parent Emeritus
Laying groundwork for children. Not laying groundwork for adults.
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 657297" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>[USER=18181]@hopeandjoy66[/USER] , I completely get this.</p><p> </p><p>In the beginning with my son I used to go through the "I know things will change this time and again, and again." He was still young and I thought, this counselor will make a difference, or this program will, I had so much naive hope back then.</p><p> </p><p>I did finally realize that my hope was empty and that he was not going to change.</p><p> </p><p>And then my Difficult Child fine tuned his manipulative skills. There was a period of time I really thought he was getting it together and in the words of Gomer Pile, Surprise, Surprise, Surprise. Boy was I fooled.</p><p> </p><p>I wanted so much to believe that he was finally getting his act together and was going to be a productive part of society. In reality, he was only "acting" out what he knew I wanted to see. He also knew that as long as it "appeared" that he was trying, that I would help him. He had gotten a job and was talking the talk but not walking the walk. It got to the point that he could no longer keep up the act and his "true" nature took over.</p><p> </p><p>I finally had to let go of my son and any hopes that I held onto that he would live a life that "I" thought he should. I had to accept that he was living the life that "HE" wanted to live.</p><p> </p><p>We all have to come to this realization in our own time and unfortunately, I think there are some that never will.</p><p>It makes me think of the 82 year old mother who's 60 year old son or daughter still lives at home because they can't get it together and that 82 year old mother still takes care of them because that's her "baby". For some this is just how it will be.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 657297, member: 18516"] [USER=18181]@hopeandjoy66[/USER] , I completely get this. In the beginning with my son I used to go through the "I know things will change this time and again, and again." He was still young and I thought, this counselor will make a difference, or this program will, I had so much naive hope back then. I did finally realize that my hope was empty and that he was not going to change. And then my Difficult Child fine tuned his manipulative skills. There was a period of time I really thought he was getting it together and in the words of Gomer Pile, Surprise, Surprise, Surprise. Boy was I fooled. I wanted so much to believe that he was finally getting his act together and was going to be a productive part of society. In reality, he was only "acting" out what he knew I wanted to see. He also knew that as long as it "appeared" that he was trying, that I would help him. He had gotten a job and was talking the talk but not walking the walk. It got to the point that he could no longer keep up the act and his "true" nature took over. I finally had to let go of my son and any hopes that I held onto that he would live a life that "I" thought he should. I had to accept that he was living the life that "HE" wanted to live. We all have to come to this realization in our own time and unfortunately, I think there are some that never will. It makes me think of the 82 year old mother who's 60 year old son or daughter still lives at home because they can't get it together and that 82 year old mother still takes care of them because that's her "baby". For some this is just how it will be. [/QUOTE]
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