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Learning all about Goneboy years later
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 721824" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Thanks. Me too. But again I think this was due to being given up by his birthnother in a country that deeply values your name, your lineage, your DNA. This is Asia where people dont adopt because they are afraid the children will have tainted blood. I feel for him in this. I could see early on that he needed to be special, the brightest (he always was), the handsomest (he was always a doll), the most popular (he was), etc. He figured he would get status by American standards...the most money, the best job.</p><p></p><p>We were a poor fit for him...middle class, down to earth, just a regular family. We shared all we had, especially our hearts, but he was not impressed. He would have been happier as a doctors child, one who was well known and gave him the monetary perks we could not. His own kids go to special private schools and he owns a huge home with an inground pool. This is the childood he wanted, the family he had wanted. Sadly, he got us. Our other kids fit in well, but he didnt. That is not his fault. Social servies should in my opinion have taken his personality into account before they placed him with us. I truly believe that. He was NOT an infant BUT a lot of families tried to adopt him. Im sure there was a good match.</p><p></p><p>This was not a bad person. He was damaged by the orphanage, but had so many assets. It was not his fault nor ours. We trusted social services here and abroad to find is a child who was compatible with us. Instead, we got Einstein and we were not particularly intellectual...just average folks.</p><p></p><p>Through the years his friends were other young Einsteins who had doctors, lawyers and ceo's for parents and he hung out at their homes and with their fathers, in particular. He wasnt impressed with their mothers, even successful ones. He comes from a culture that values men oer women and came with those values at age six.</p><p></p><p>At 18 he turned down a Scholarship. "I am going to start six years ahead of my friends and be far more successful than any of them."</p><p></p><p>He did. He is. He had a million by thirty. He is very respected in the business community. He has traveled all over. He is an American success story, although in his original country he would still be considered an orphan.</p><p></p><p>He lived his dream but left us behind. We embarass him maybe.</p><p></p><p>Anyhow...i am so grateful for my loved ones. Just because you raise kids, it doesnt mean they love you in the right way. I am sure Goneboy would have dumped ex too had he not inherited so much money. Love is when kids love you even if you have very little or nothing. Just as we love them, regardless.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 721824, member: 1550"] Thanks. Me too. But again I think this was due to being given up by his birthnother in a country that deeply values your name, your lineage, your DNA. This is Asia where people dont adopt because they are afraid the children will have tainted blood. I feel for him in this. I could see early on that he needed to be special, the brightest (he always was), the handsomest (he was always a doll), the most popular (he was), etc. He figured he would get status by American standards...the most money, the best job. We were a poor fit for him...middle class, down to earth, just a regular family. We shared all we had, especially our hearts, but he was not impressed. He would have been happier as a doctors child, one who was well known and gave him the monetary perks we could not. His own kids go to special private schools and he owns a huge home with an inground pool. This is the childood he wanted, the family he had wanted. Sadly, he got us. Our other kids fit in well, but he didnt. That is not his fault. Social servies should in my opinion have taken his personality into account before they placed him with us. I truly believe that. He was NOT an infant BUT a lot of families tried to adopt him. Im sure there was a good match. This was not a bad person. He was damaged by the orphanage, but had so many assets. It was not his fault nor ours. We trusted social services here and abroad to find is a child who was compatible with us. Instead, we got Einstein and we were not particularly intellectual...just average folks. Through the years his friends were other young Einsteins who had doctors, lawyers and ceo's for parents and he hung out at their homes and with their fathers, in particular. He wasnt impressed with their mothers, even successful ones. He comes from a culture that values men oer women and came with those values at age six. At 18 he turned down a Scholarship. "I am going to start six years ahead of my friends and be far more successful than any of them." He did. He is. He had a million by thirty. He is very respected in the business community. He has traveled all over. He is an American success story, although in his original country he would still be considered an orphan. He lived his dream but left us behind. We embarass him maybe. Anyhow...i am so grateful for my loved ones. Just because you raise kids, it doesnt mean they love you in the right way. I am sure Goneboy would have dumped ex too had he not inherited so much money. Love is when kids love you even if you have very little or nothing. Just as we love them, regardless. [/QUOTE]
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