Legal Aid Stinks - missed court!!!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by bran155, Jan 16, 2009.

  1. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    Hey all. I need to vent a little. I am so mad!!!! My daughter called me from the court house, she had court this morning and I was not notified!!!! I felt so bad, she said that she felt abandoned. I of course explained to her that no one notified me of her court date. She said that she didn't even know about it until they woke her up this morning. I called the lawyer that I have been talking to and she felt horrible as she promised to keep me updated with my daughter's case. My daughter told me that the lawyer that showed up for her today told her that she would probably be released with probation. What???? I was told that her case was being transferred to the Youth Court and that they were going to place her. I am so confused and frustrated as one hand doesn't know what the other is doing. I asked Ellen (lawyer I spoke to) about it and she said that she knows nothing about that. As far as she knows that the original plan to transfer the case and have my daughter placed is still going to happen. Now, my daughter probably misconstrued the information. I asked my daughter if the new court was even mentioned and she said no. I am so ticked off that I was not notified of this court date. If I went to court then I would know for sure what is going on. Ellen said that she would have the lawyer call me today. Yeah okay, that will happen. It's already 4:15 and she hasn't called yet. It's Friday and Monday is a holiday, so I won't be able to talk to anyone until next Tuesday!!! UURRGGHHHH!!!!

    I am so worried now. I do not want my daughter released with probation. I do not want her to live here. But I just can't throw her in the streets for God's sake. I was so excited about her being placed. That is what she needs. If they just release her she will no doubt violate her probation and just end up back in jail. She will come home and start in on her usual bs and put us all through hell once again. She will run the streets and have me worrying all night long. Not to mention she will refuse treatment and won't take her medications. Right back to square one!!! I know that I am jumping the gun here. My daughter probably got the story all wrong. I hope that is the case anyway. I will try to be patient and not panic yet. I wish the DA would allow me to come and see him so that I can be sure of what the plan is. I hope there still is a plan. How can they have a court date and not noify me, she isn't 18 yet!!!

    The friend that I told you all about that has similar issues as my daughter, the one that went to visit her already is going to see her again tomorrow. I will give her money to put on my daughter's account. Even though I am still detaching and I know that my daughter deserves this as she brought this on herself, I feel badly that I haven't even seen her. I can't find my liscense, so I can't get in to see her. She must be feeling so alone. Here comes the guilt!!! Great!!! I just keep reminding myslelf that this is the reality of her choices. I can't lose myself and become imeshed with her again. I have been doing so well with keeping myself together. But at the same time I don't want to disown the kid - ya know? I still love her very much. I don't know.

    Thanks for listening, I needed to unload!!

  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I'm so sorry Bran. I think they have to make sure you are invlved in this somehow though, being that she's still under 18, if they are planning releasing her to your care and being on probation.
  3. Ropefree

    Ropefree Banned

    CAll the governers office and speak to the omnibusman. Or the governers liazon officer. Do not take this laying down.

    Also call your congressperson and your state representatives office.

    Judges and court houses have oversight too. And it is not OK for the pubic taxpayers to be dittled by the fun and games of a industry doominated by lawyers to muck around in the lives of citizens. Go to and I proomise you will find some direction to get this thing on track. TRust and complain to the highest authorities.
    Even the mayors office will likely hellp.
    Here is a little tip when dealing with lawyers. They will lie (it is their chosen study) and tell you whatever will position you to their advantage. However when in a courtroom with the stenography recording even the judge will adhere to law.
    And here another tip...lawyers have the skin of an armadillo...they spend theri professional lives slinging lies and insult and manipulating people. So truely do not fear saying what is true may "hurt their feelings" they have one feeling devise
    it is called their income deposit slip. Bottom line.
    What you were lead to bellieve was that a course of events that would protect your daughter from herself was the direction in play. And that is what will serve her and it is what the state needs to impliment now. Not latter after they haave her children in cosdody and her next crime on record. Now is THE TIME.
    Good luck.
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am sorry. It is hard when no one keeps you in the loop, and it is my experience that the courts do what they want, often with no notice.

    Shawna, you need to make SURE that the judge knows she cannot live with you as she is a danger to your younger child. Her gang activities and drugging are a serious risk to his health and safety. If you push this, and stand firm, they will most likely have to place her.

    Calling the Ombudsman at the Governor's Office, or even just the Governor is also a good idea. When there are problems, it can help to go straight to the top.

    Sorry, I know this is rough. It sounds like you need to go get a new license. It is hard when you love her so much. But you only have MONTHS to get through to her, once she is 18 you are pretty much out of power.
  5. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    Thank you guys. I appreciate your support and ideas. I will make some of the suggested phone calls on Tuesday. I spoke to my sw last night, she said that she is going to call Legal Aid and try to get to the bottom of this. She speaks so well and is very aggressive, she is going to push the issue. She will explain that my daughter NEEDS treatment and that she would be a danger to herself as well as my family members if she was to be released. She is also going to write a letter to the judge. I am going to see if she will call the Mayor and Governor's office too. They listen better when it's someone "official"!!!

    I hope I am wrong. I really hope my daughter did not get the facts right. As she often does. Keeping my finger's crossed that this all works out.

  6. ML

    ML Guest

    I hope she just got it wrong. Please post on Tuesday when you know more, I'll be thinking about you. Sending prayers and good thoughts ML
  7. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    OH, Bran, how frustrating!

    No more guilt, though. Things happen.

    You've got a good plan. The SW worker sounds great! I know it will be resolved Tuesday.
    I hate it when these things happen, especially when you have to wait for a weekend or holiday to resolve the issues!!!!!

  8. compassion

    compassion Member

    Bran, I really think your daughter has this confused. You do have choices and you area true warrior mom. She needs placement and I see her getting that. Donot take the bureacy of the ocurts personally. Oh, your daighter knows how to push those guilt buttons. Like I have said before, our daughters are very similar. She has the right to express an d feela baoanded but you know you are doing the opposite of that for her.
    i had to fight for my daughter to be in treatment also: I know it is much more than kids will be kids experimnetation.
    I had never ereally dealt eith the court dystem until July, 2008 and all of sudden my difficult child is facing adult criminal charges.
    I took the stand then and continue to that she is ill and needs treatment and I will continue my warrior mom stance.
    Bran, She is ill, not bad and you know that. Compassion
  9. svengandhi

    svengandhi Well-Known Member

    If her case is in adult court and there is a new date, you can find it online since you are in NY. Google webcrims and when the site comes up, hit log in as a guest, enter the password they give you and then search for the cases. You can search by her name, it will give you the charges, the court dates, etc. This site only works if there is a future date pending, not if the matter has been resolved.

    Legal Aid is overworked and underfunded. The budget crisis is hitting them hard as well. Their attys have more cases than is recommended. In general, though, they are excellent attys.
  10. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    Thanks guys.

    Terry, you are so right, NO MORE GUILT!!! She did bring this upon herself.

    Thanks for the resource svengandhi.

    Compassion and ML, thanks for the support.

    Guess what I got in the mail today??? A letter telling me that her court date was YESTERDAY!!! I did get another letter with her new court date, the 29th. I will be there.

    As always, you guys are wonderful. (((HUGS))) to you all. :)