Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Let me introduce myself...
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 702089" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Hi Phoenixmom, welcome. </p><p></p><p>Your story is not unlike many of ours, for whatever reason, your son has failed to launch properly. I'm sorry. I know how desperately unhappy you are, we've all been in your shoes. </p><p></p><p>You're correct in your thinking that you can't force him to do anything or fix him or change him......it is entirely up to him. What you can do is learn how to respond differently to him so that your life begins to have balance and some sense of peacefulness. The guilt alone will do much harm to you, keeping you spinning in the hamster wheel that you didn't create and you have no power to stop. </p><p></p><p>Typical young people don't choose homelessness. Something derailed your son, it may be mental issues, it may be severe grief..... You can always contact NAMI and explain your situation and see if they can help you. If they can't and you think your son is abusing drugs or alcohol, you might try Al Anon or Narc Anon or Families anonymous, many parents here find solace in the 12 step groups. Getting support for yourself is crucial to making any changes.......most of us here require professional support or some kind of support to make the necessary changes so that our lives are not dragged through our kids choices and behaviors. </p><p></p><p>You may be right about your son not having dealt with his brothers death.......that may be something NAMI can support both of you with.......grief counseling of some sort. However, if your son won't get the help he needs, you are powerless. That powerlessness is what keeps us stuck in the guilt......we have no control over our adult kids choices. Which is why it becomes imperative for US to seek support. It's difficult to accept that we cannot fix it for our kids.....as parents many of us believe we can......but once they are adults, we can't. It's a hard road to that recognition. </p><p></p><p>You may want to read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here. Keep posting it helps. It can be a bit quiet around here on weekends, but others will come along tomorrow. I'm glad you're here......hang in there........</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 702089, member: 13542"] Hi Phoenixmom, welcome. Your story is not unlike many of ours, for whatever reason, your son has failed to launch properly. I'm sorry. I know how desperately unhappy you are, we've all been in your shoes. You're correct in your thinking that you can't force him to do anything or fix him or change him......it is entirely up to him. What you can do is learn how to respond differently to him so that your life begins to have balance and some sense of peacefulness. The guilt alone will do much harm to you, keeping you spinning in the hamster wheel that you didn't create and you have no power to stop. Typical young people don't choose homelessness. Something derailed your son, it may be mental issues, it may be severe grief..... You can always contact NAMI and explain your situation and see if they can help you. If they can't and you think your son is abusing drugs or alcohol, you might try Al Anon or Narc Anon or Families anonymous, many parents here find solace in the 12 step groups. Getting support for yourself is crucial to making any changes.......most of us here require professional support or some kind of support to make the necessary changes so that our lives are not dragged through our kids choices and behaviors. You may be right about your son not having dealt with his brothers death.......that may be something NAMI can support both of you with.......grief counseling of some sort. However, if your son won't get the help he needs, you are powerless. That powerlessness is what keeps us stuck in the guilt......we have no control over our adult kids choices. Which is why it becomes imperative for US to seek support. It's difficult to accept that we cannot fix it for our kids.....as parents many of us believe we can......but once they are adults, we can't. It's a hard road to that recognition. You may want to read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here. Keep posting it helps. It can be a bit quiet around here on weekends, but others will come along tomorrow. I'm glad you're here......hang in there........ [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Let me introduce myself...
Top