My soon to be 21 year old will be moving out of the house in June or so. That is a good thing for the family and probably for him. He is very messed up and refuses to get help. There is drug use, depression, disrespect, avoidance....many things. The only positive is he is holding down a restaurant job and working 40 to 45 hours per week. He basically will not talk to us (his parents) about his inner thoughts or problems. He also will not get help. I just want to know what has gone so wrong for him. Is it addiction? Mental illness? Should we seek help for ourselves in Nar-Anon family group or NAMI? In my heart, I KNOW we have done everything possible for him and need to send him out to figure it out on his own. He has rebuffed all help extended to him. I am working on giving up my vision for his future based on his childhood and his intelligence, and I am learning to "accept" the path he is choosing to tread on now. It is difficult to get a diagnosis or answer to the "why" if he won't get help nor be honest with his own pitiful predicament.