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Letting Go Takes Love
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 696186" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I loved this.</p><p></p><p>I'll go a step further. We can't give up or not give up on another person because their life is in their hands, not yours. Having hope is for you, not them. Regardless of how much you cheer them on and hope, it affects your well being...it does not affect whether they do better or not. Our attitude doesn't matter for them. Their attitude matters for them. And our attitude matters only for us.</p><p></p><p>I don't do anything on faith. I am a realist. Faith is hope. Of course I hope others will do better, but I don't have faith that they will..until they do. I look at what is...I radically accept what is. I'm not an</p><p>optimist or a pessimism. I am a hardcore realist. I look at a blue sky and don't think it will rain because it is blue. I lltalk to my often mouthy son and don't expect this to change. If it does then that will be a nice surprise. But it is what it is for now.</p><p></p><p>I believe that if we do things for them because of our fear then I feel that we that for us. Good for you for sending your son food money. You feel better that you did it. What he does with that money is no longer your concern. I believe it is good to help ourselves feel better...and be realistic that we may have wasted our money. If we know and accept that, Good!</p><p></p><p>I think disabled kids should be able to come home, if they are polite. I would not try to help a drug abuser who has a good IQ and an able body because I don't think it works to keep setting them up while they fail.But if another parent has the need to try again and has the means, I think it's A-ok to do it for that parents peace of mind.</p><p></p><p>I'm BECOMING About US AND DOING what makes us feel better. We really can't help somebody else do better, bit we can make itit easier for us to survive the path by doing what we feel we must do</p><p>And we are all in different stages of life too. We can change and have every right to do so.</p><p></p><p>Best wishes to all and to all of our adult kids.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 696186, member: 1550"] I loved this. I'll go a step further. We can't give up or not give up on another person because their life is in their hands, not yours. Having hope is for you, not them. Regardless of how much you cheer them on and hope, it affects your well being...it does not affect whether they do better or not. Our attitude doesn't matter for them. Their attitude matters for them. And our attitude matters only for us. I don't do anything on faith. I am a realist. Faith is hope. Of course I hope others will do better, but I don't have faith that they will..until they do. I look at what is...I radically accept what is. I'm not an optimist or a pessimism. I am a hardcore realist. I look at a blue sky and don't think it will rain because it is blue. I lltalk to my often mouthy son and don't expect this to change. If it does then that will be a nice surprise. But it is what it is for now. I believe that if we do things for them because of our fear then I feel that we that for us. Good for you for sending your son food money. You feel better that you did it. What he does with that money is no longer your concern. I believe it is good to help ourselves feel better...and be realistic that we may have wasted our money. If we know and accept that, Good! I think disabled kids should be able to come home, if they are polite. I would not try to help a drug abuser who has a good IQ and an able body because I don't think it works to keep setting them up while they fail.But if another parent has the need to try again and has the means, I think it's A-ok to do it for that parents peace of mind. I'm BECOMING About US AND DOING what makes us feel better. We really can't help somebody else do better, bit we can make itit easier for us to survive the path by doing what we feel we must do And we are all in different stages of life too. We can change and have every right to do so. Best wishes to all and to all of our adult kids. [/QUOTE]
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