i've been here for a while now, i've seen so many parents go through it and would try to be supportive and say it'll be ok, and find the light at the end of the tunnel for them cause that's what we do here, power in numbers all that good stuff! Yet odd thing is i thought id' be here with difficult child, not easy child! Yet it's easy child whose doing me in. Could things be worse, ofcourse they can always be worse. I laugh each time i say that it gets worse lol. It dawned upon me as I stood in my bathroom smoking a cigarette (yes I haven't quit yet), that my feelings have changed for easy child, that there comes a time when as parents we just gotta let go and have some hope and faith in what we have tried to teach them, that sooner or later they will prevail. it's the whole horse water thing, ya know? especially when their older teens and dont' have a strong diagnosis. Now i'm not saying open the door at home and toss them, yet at point i'm at i have services in, i didn't waste anytime doing so. I have private therapy set up, i have made alot of changes at home consequence after consequence regarding her behaviors (always did that; alot of good it did lol), and still have to handle her being with a boy who is bad news and i strongly believe has given her the fuel she needed to become who she is today. So, i pay for the private therapist, and i deal with the in home services and still she is disrespectful, and hateful, hurtful and intolerant to anyone else that lives here besides herself her needs, wants and desires. She is already having sex and continues to do so without being on the pill and is truly making some really bad choices. Yet difference is she'll be 17 on her next birthday. as i stand today listening to her put me down, insult who i am, the parent i've been to her, mistakes i've made, on and on it goes. I think you get to a point when you need to preserve your own self and life, the other kids in the family who are negatively affected. that's kinda where i'm at, self preservation mode. yea i'll still pay for therapy and drive an hour to get her there, i'll sit with the ppl who come to our home yet at the end of the day the feelings have changed. i never thought it could but today it did surprisingly. yea i love her, but the connections different now. so odd. anyone else go through the disconnect and how did you cope through it??? ah... my happy posts!!