Just a review of previous posts. My son is 36 and bipolar with anxiety issues and some other diagnoses. My son has been in jail since October. I tried to 302 him and it went wrong in some ways right in others. He has always refused to medicate but finally has admitted that they do help him focus. They put him on medicine then released him to court system after a couple of days. I can't even remember the whole sequence now. He was in jail and moved from one county to the next repeatedly. Each time his medical treatment was ignored or changed so no consistency, finally got released tried to work and started into depression so checked himself into hospital. Stayed for a week doctors couldn't agree on best medicine and told him to go to outpatient elsewhere. Just signed up and bond revoked has been in jail ever since once again going from case to case county to county. Lawyer is under review because he hasn't shown up for several of his hearings and was held in contempt. I am trying to detach but am sending him books and some commissary money. I do not visit because I told him a long time ago I wouldn't do that anymore way before all this started. He may get out in a couple of weeks and I am afraid I will fall into old patterns of enabling. He will be homeless but my brother who owns some investment properties might allow him to live in one of them while my son works on fixing it up for him. That still leaves utilities and food etc. His credit is shot so he probably won't be able to turn them on without a big deposit. He calls me daily and I have tried to only answer one or two times a day. I am the communication with the lawyer who does not answer his calls. Always says he is going to go see him never does. I am not happy with the lawyer who my son hired and is his "friend" but I can not pay for another. I am tired of draining my retirement account for such things. Yesterday he asked me to send him a couple of hundred in the hopes that he would pay more attention to getting him out. I have done this on occasion but it will never end. Any way I told him that I would send him some on the condition that I was keeping his dog. The story behind that is when I 302ed him I took the dog. She had some medical issues that cost me a lot of time and money but I have grown attached to her and do not want to give her up because although he is not mean to her , he is not good at taking care of her. He tried to guilt me out of this but I told him no dog no money. Besides the issue of me wanting to keep the dog I wanted him to understand there is no more free money. Anyway I know I should just let the chips fall where they may. He signed up for social security but doesn't seem to know any of the details. So I am not sure where that stands. He is horrible at paperwork but I feel it is something he needs to deal with himself. He is mentally capable of that in my opinion but has always left it to ex-wives or me. Another detachment issue "handle your own mail". He will just ignore it but not my problem. He is already trying to guilt me but I am holding on. Am I being unreasonable about not helping when he gets out of jail? I will not let him come to my house because he threatens and has even done so while in jail to destroy my property. He has never hit me but throws fits and yells and throws things when he does not get his way. Please give me advice on how to keep my boundaries.