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Family of Origin
Life is difficult due to non-Difficult Child adult daughter
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 673719" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>Hi Wakeupcall,</p><p></p><p>I am seeing this from your daughters point of view because that was the experience I had. I would be careful in blaming her reaction on your ex husband. He may very well be giving her his point of view and that may be coloring her perspective but she is an adult with a mind of her own. My dad blamed my mother for my brother and my reaction and I find it offensive that he did that. My mother was not at all trying to turn us against him, it was the way he did not sonsider our feelings or let us be heard that caused the problems along with some actions that he took that we didnt like. </p><p></p><p>I am not saying you did anything wrong at all..... but just give your daughter the credit that she is an adultl and can think on her own. Dont waste time or energy blaming the ex.... and dont push her to accept your husband before she is ready. My dad made that mistake of pushing my step mother on us before we were ready and it made it all harder. I did end up having a good relationship with my step mother eventually but it took me some time. My brother never did.</p><p></p><p>So really it is time to have a heart to heart with your daugther and acknowledge that your divorce had a direct impact on her even though she was an adult when it happened. It sounds like you had a good relationship with your daughter before the divorce so I think it is totally possible for you to have one again, but she needs to feel heard and understood in all this.</p><p></p><p>I think often when the children are adults and on their own in the case of a divorc</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 673719, member: 15801"] Hi Wakeupcall, I am seeing this from your daughters point of view because that was the experience I had. I would be careful in blaming her reaction on your ex husband. He may very well be giving her his point of view and that may be coloring her perspective but she is an adult with a mind of her own. My dad blamed my mother for my brother and my reaction and I find it offensive that he did that. My mother was not at all trying to turn us against him, it was the way he did not sonsider our feelings or let us be heard that caused the problems along with some actions that he took that we didnt like. I am not saying you did anything wrong at all..... but just give your daughter the credit that she is an adultl and can think on her own. Dont waste time or energy blaming the ex.... and dont push her to accept your husband before she is ready. My dad made that mistake of pushing my step mother on us before we were ready and it made it all harder. I did end up having a good relationship with my step mother eventually but it took me some time. My brother never did. So really it is time to have a heart to heart with your daugther and acknowledge that your divorce had a direct impact on her even though she was an adult when it happened. It sounds like you had a good relationship with your daughter before the divorce so I think it is totally possible for you to have one again, but she needs to feel heard and understood in all this. I think often when the children are adults and on their own in the case of a divorc [/QUOTE]
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Life is difficult due to non-Difficult Child adult daughter
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