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Life out of balance--emotionally drained from son with mental illness
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<blockquote data-quote="Mama5" data-source="post: 716176" data-attributes="member: 22140"><p>Thank you everybody for such wonderful advice! This site has been really helpful to me to hear everyone's perspective on whether I'm doing the right thing. He did not call from jail again today, so I know he is accepting that we are leaving him in there until Monday when he has his court date with the judge. Someone mentioned why didn't they just release him. They did release him two hours after the post office incident. They released him from jail, but we still had to go to court two weeks later. The court in this particular city is having us come back in October to review it and see if he has stayed out of trouble and the post office. The police officers in all cases have been kind and understanding, but he has been arrested for these three incidents (post office, calling 911). He was also arrested for assault for fighting with his roommate about 18 months ago just prior to his diagnosis and before medications and his first psychotic break. When he called 911 a few months ago in another city, they "retired" his case when I told them about his diagnosis. For this lateste 911 arrest, he had an arraignment on Tuesday by video with the judge and will have a trial on Monday. He does get disability money now. I was funding everything on my credit cards and from financial help from my mother for two months before the first disability check came in. I have wrestled with this decision and have questioned myself all week. I have wondered if it is possible for him to learn to control himself when the voice commands him. My thinking is that I will never know unless I pull away the crutch of not rescuing him and imprint it on his memory. If he does it again, then I will have my answer and know he has no control at all. I wish he had strategies to help him learn to cope with the commands. As for putting him in an institution, the mental hospital says he is capable to make his own choice if they can get him stabilized. Each time, they say he is stable. He tells them he doesn't hear the voice commanding him anymore. For me to get him in a group home, I would need to go to court to get conservatorship. I was told by a mental therapist that even if I were able to get him into a group home, they could not force him to stay. The hospital keeps telling me each time they are ready to release him that he is able to make this choice for himself and is stable enough to decide. He does not want to go, so he tells them he is not interested in a group home.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mama5, post: 716176, member: 22140"] Thank you everybody for such wonderful advice! This site has been really helpful to me to hear everyone's perspective on whether I'm doing the right thing. He did not call from jail again today, so I know he is accepting that we are leaving him in there until Monday when he has his court date with the judge. Someone mentioned why didn't they just release him. They did release him two hours after the post office incident. They released him from jail, but we still had to go to court two weeks later. The court in this particular city is having us come back in October to review it and see if he has stayed out of trouble and the post office. The police officers in all cases have been kind and understanding, but he has been arrested for these three incidents (post office, calling 911). He was also arrested for assault for fighting with his roommate about 18 months ago just prior to his diagnosis and before medications and his first psychotic break. When he called 911 a few months ago in another city, they "retired" his case when I told them about his diagnosis. For this lateste 911 arrest, he had an arraignment on Tuesday by video with the judge and will have a trial on Monday. He does get disability money now. I was funding everything on my credit cards and from financial help from my mother for two months before the first disability check came in. I have wrestled with this decision and have questioned myself all week. I have wondered if it is possible for him to learn to control himself when the voice commands him. My thinking is that I will never know unless I pull away the crutch of not rescuing him and imprint it on his memory. If he does it again, then I will have my answer and know he has no control at all. I wish he had strategies to help him learn to cope with the commands. As for putting him in an institution, the mental hospital says he is capable to make his own choice if they can get him stabilized. Each time, they say he is stable. He tells them he doesn't hear the voice commanding him anymore. For me to get him in a group home, I would need to go to court to get conservatorship. I was told by a mental therapist that even if I were able to get him into a group home, they could not force him to stay. The hospital keeps telling me each time they are ready to release him that he is able to make this choice for himself and is stable enough to decide. He does not want to go, so he tells them he is not interested in a group home. [/QUOTE]
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