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Life out of balance--emotionally drained from son with mental illness
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<blockquote data-quote="Mama5" data-source="post: 716234" data-attributes="member: 22140"><p>I also told my son to talk back to the voice and tell him "No, I won't do that." He said he feels pins, needles, and shocks over his body when he doesn't comply with the voice?? My other son read that medications can cause a pins and needles feeling. My son also has no friends. I have been super involved, too, because I feel like I'm all he has sometimes and I want him to not feel like he is alone in this world. He says sometimes the voice is nice and I see that the voice makes him laugh. Other times he says the voice says mean things. The voice has even told him to jump from a bridge. That is why I convinced him to go to the hospital the last time. We also had years of odd behavior prior to the first psychotic break-lack of hygiene, lack of teeth brushing, moodiness, sleeping all day. The psychiatrist called it the prodomal stage of the illness. I have tried to save him from himself. I have talked till I'm blue in the face, raced to bail him out or pick him up when released from jail, begged him to give me his phones to not call 911, been at the post office when it opened so he wouldn't go in and be arrested again, counseled him, told him some strategies I'd been reading about to try to handle the voices, etc. It has been exhausting....He stays in the hospital and is learning how to better control his behavior to let them see what they need to see to say he's stable, then he gets out on his own and gets in trouble. It's amazing how far I've come in accepting how he is now. Last year when he had his first psychotic break and the police picked him up and committed him, I wailed. It was true grief over what was lost. It felt like a death in the family. Ever since, I've lived hoping every time he loses his mind he could get closer to what his normal self was; praying this new medication will work and then the next medication. Leaving him in jail is one thing I haven't tried. I don't know if it will have any effect, but as someone said earlier I won't be around forever and he will need to learn to exist in society to the extent he is able. I have had terrible guilt over this all week. He pulled out all the stops on the phone and told me I was abandoning me, he couldn't believe I would leave him, the voice made him do it, and he cried and begged. It was torturous. I too have cried buckets the past year. It does feel better to get it out. Only time will tell if this had any positive effect.....Thank you so much for your thoughts and sharing your story, too. This has been very therapeutic and safe for me to anonymously share my story with everyone.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mama5, post: 716234, member: 22140"] I also told my son to talk back to the voice and tell him "No, I won't do that." He said he feels pins, needles, and shocks over his body when he doesn't comply with the voice?? My other son read that medications can cause a pins and needles feeling. My son also has no friends. I have been super involved, too, because I feel like I'm all he has sometimes and I want him to not feel like he is alone in this world. He says sometimes the voice is nice and I see that the voice makes him laugh. Other times he says the voice says mean things. The voice has even told him to jump from a bridge. That is why I convinced him to go to the hospital the last time. We also had years of odd behavior prior to the first psychotic break-lack of hygiene, lack of teeth brushing, moodiness, sleeping all day. The psychiatrist called it the prodomal stage of the illness. I have tried to save him from himself. I have talked till I'm blue in the face, raced to bail him out or pick him up when released from jail, begged him to give me his phones to not call 911, been at the post office when it opened so he wouldn't go in and be arrested again, counseled him, told him some strategies I'd been reading about to try to handle the voices, etc. It has been exhausting....He stays in the hospital and is learning how to better control his behavior to let them see what they need to see to say he's stable, then he gets out on his own and gets in trouble. It's amazing how far I've come in accepting how he is now. Last year when he had his first psychotic break and the police picked him up and committed him, I wailed. It was true grief over what was lost. It felt like a death in the family. Ever since, I've lived hoping every time he loses his mind he could get closer to what his normal self was; praying this new medication will work and then the next medication. Leaving him in jail is one thing I haven't tried. I don't know if it will have any effect, but as someone said earlier I won't be around forever and he will need to learn to exist in society to the extent he is able. I have had terrible guilt over this all week. He pulled out all the stops on the phone and told me I was abandoning me, he couldn't believe I would leave him, the voice made him do it, and he cried and begged. It was torturous. I too have cried buckets the past year. It does feel better to get it out. Only time will tell if this had any positive effect.....Thank you so much for your thoughts and sharing your story, too. This has been very therapeutic and safe for me to anonymously share my story with everyone. [/QUOTE]
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