As you know, I set a boundary for my sister. Maybe I wasn't perfect, but I just decided I don't want the stress of hearing about her drama filled and dangerous relationship with a boyfriend she knows is bad for her but is afraid to leave. Well, she set her own line in the sand and said that he is a big part of her life and that she had to be able to talk about him. Then it spiraled from there and she cut me off for the fiftieth time and I grieved, but only for a few days. Sad as it is to be more peaceful without even one extended family member really in my life (except for my Dad...I love him very much...he is the only one who didn't do the Black Sheep thang), I feel great without Sis around to talk about her negative, merry-go-round relationship with a man I'm afraid could hurt her physically. I feel a little guilty at how free I feel knowing that I don't have to hear about K. anymore. I am a bit saddened that Sis thinks he is worth our relationship as we have many common issues to discuss, however I am not surprised either. Sis has cut off almost every member of the family at one time or another and seems to especially do it to me so I have to assume we are toxic to each other. I am sort of embarassed that it took me so long to express to her that to do another cut off would be a forever cut off because I'm tired of the games. Or to tell her, as I did, that if she is in therapy long enough and decides that the cutting off is not healthy, we can maybe try again, but that will never happen. I actually feel lighter that when the phone rings it will not be her. She is worse for me than 36, who is currently not in a good situation, but at least I know he loves me, no matter how vile he acts at times. I am thinking Sis doesn't love me and never did and it is what it is. The more I read about boundaries, the more I realize how much I needed to know about them. It is also helpful to read that it is ok to clamp down on a person who is not nice to you and to let THEM decide whether to accept the boundary or not. I do not accept the boundary where she gets to keep talking about K. I have never met him. I never will. There is no reason to discuss him with me. She has plenty of friends (but I tried to be empathetic and gave good advice, which she cherished). But it wore me out after three years. I can't do it anymore. Anyone think it's mean and awful that I won't let her talk about K. and that I am actually more serene without her? My real serenity is when I'm lazing at home with my hubby, my children and my dogs or in Chicago with Julie and Geoff and now a baby or, when he is not in a tizzy, sometimes even talkling to 36 can be fun (although I'd give it maybe 20% of the time). I kind of feel like I left Sis high and dry, but she DOES have a lot of friends and I don't and she doesn't treat them the way she treats me, no matter what they say to her. I feel in my heart I did the right thing for me and that it is ok to be selfish in this. I also think Sis doesn't realize it, but she is better without me too.