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Family of Origin
Life without Sis is amazingly, surprisingly good! Boundaries rock!
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 628034" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Thanks again for encouraging responses, ladies. I really appreciate it.</p><p></p><p>COM, it is very easy for me to stay completely away from Sis without causing any damage to the rest of my family, which is only a brother in NJ and my 90 year old father. Sis was on her "off" switch so often that our children never got to know us so we are not known aunts to each others children. This was at a time when we lived in the same town, maybe ten minutes away from one another and both had young kids. We both never had a chance to develop relationships with one another's chidlren. In the end, I guess that is a blessing. I do not have to be sad that maybe Twin A and Twin B and her son will stop talking to me because of my decision as they never talked to me in the past so it doesn't matter. As I get attached to children, I am glad, since this happened, that I never did get close to them. And I'm glad my kids were far from her.</p><p></p><p>My daughter Julie can't stand her for what she has done to me and during an "on" time she came to Julie's house with me and the rest for Thanksgiving. Later, my daughter told me she gives off a weird vibe and she really doesn't want her there anymore. THAT was HER boundary. I accepted it, but at the time it was mildly frustrating because, although she had cut me off 21 times (this was before the last time) I was hoping we could get closer and do Holiday together. Her son came with her (sis's son). I didn't recognize him. He didn't speak to us. We didn't know what to say to him. We don't know him.</p><p></p><p>Because our family gatherings include, at the very max, only Tom, myself, Julie, Geoff, Jumper and Sonic (and used to include 36 before he moved), I never have to worry about seeing my sister on the holidays. My narcissistic father spends all of his holidays with his women friends so he never makes plans or expects us all to get together so I really don't have to deal with her unless I want some drama.</p><p></p><p>COM, we can't even manage light conversation when she is in her "off" modes. She won't read or answer or even take a short reprieve from her anger. I could slap myself. Why did it take so long to see that this wasn't going to work and that I was just making a fool out of myself by putting up with it.</p><p></p><p>Oh, well. Belatedly, it is over.</p><p></p><p>Thanks again for the awesome support.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 628034, member: 1550"] Thanks again for encouraging responses, ladies. I really appreciate it. COM, it is very easy for me to stay completely away from Sis without causing any damage to the rest of my family, which is only a brother in NJ and my 90 year old father. Sis was on her "off" switch so often that our children never got to know us so we are not known aunts to each others children. This was at a time when we lived in the same town, maybe ten minutes away from one another and both had young kids. We both never had a chance to develop relationships with one another's chidlren. In the end, I guess that is a blessing. I do not have to be sad that maybe Twin A and Twin B and her son will stop talking to me because of my decision as they never talked to me in the past so it doesn't matter. As I get attached to children, I am glad, since this happened, that I never did get close to them. And I'm glad my kids were far from her. My daughter Julie can't stand her for what she has done to me and during an "on" time she came to Julie's house with me and the rest for Thanksgiving. Later, my daughter told me she gives off a weird vibe and she really doesn't want her there anymore. THAT was HER boundary. I accepted it, but at the time it was mildly frustrating because, although she had cut me off 21 times (this was before the last time) I was hoping we could get closer and do Holiday together. Her son came with her (sis's son). I didn't recognize him. He didn't speak to us. We didn't know what to say to him. We don't know him. Because our family gatherings include, at the very max, only Tom, myself, Julie, Geoff, Jumper and Sonic (and used to include 36 before he moved), I never have to worry about seeing my sister on the holidays. My narcissistic father spends all of his holidays with his women friends so he never makes plans or expects us all to get together so I really don't have to deal with her unless I want some drama. COM, we can't even manage light conversation when she is in her "off" modes. She won't read or answer or even take a short reprieve from her anger. I could slap myself. Why did it take so long to see that this wasn't going to work and that I was just making a fool out of myself by putting up with it. Oh, well. Belatedly, it is over. Thanks again for the awesome support. [/QUOTE]
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Life without Sis is amazingly, surprisingly good! Boundaries rock!
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