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Family of Origin
Life without Sis is amazingly, surprisingly good! Boundaries rock!
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 628154" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Oh, Scent, you were almost right o the money, except for this:</p><p></p><p>I<em><strong>t isn't that we were Pollyannas, MWM. We knew full well what was happening to us, and what our responses were based in. We were not wrong or stupid, MWM. It is just that it didn't work. We are tired, now. We want strong, gentle people in our lives now who love us, people whom we can trust.</strong></em></p><p></p><p>I truly kept trying because I thought it was me who was the bad guy. I really bought it. If not, why did my family of origin treat me like a pariah? I learned after my mother died and didn't even do what Joan Crawford did....negatively acknowledge me in her will...at least acknowledging my existence...that I had been so foolish to chase after her like a love starved toddler. I never expected her to be so cold as to cut me out of her will THAT way. I thought she'd at least give me my dollar and say something nasty like Joan. And I think Joan was kinder by doing that, although I have no doubt her children were devastated. But what did I really learn? I learned that I had been foolish with Mother and that you can't change people, but I let Sis abuse me wit her cut offs and cops. And the cops were a really sneaky and constant way she shut me up. If I called and she didn't like my message she made sure I couldn't call her again by making a bogus claim of harassment and the cops would come because they had to and warn me that she doesn't want me to call and that legally I can't. Why did it take me THIS long to ponder how crazy using the cops on your sister is...just to stop her from asking you what is wrong? WHO DOES THAT? Yes, when our difficult children are a danger to us or steal from us we call the cops, but we don't do it in revenge...to make them shut up.</p><p></p><p>It is good, I guess, when we can finally laugh at the dysfunction. I tried telling a few "safe" people about Sis' love of calling the cops to force mt to not contact her...hahaha to me. The safe people did not laugh with me. They were mortified. They did not find it funny. They found it over-the-top appalling. </p><p></p><p>Why didn't I?</p><p></p><p>Anyhow, we are all learning and growing and I appreciate your extremely insightful post to me, Scent. As always, great wisdom there.</p><p></p><p>Read more: <a href="http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/life-without-sis-is-amazingly-surprisingly-good-boundaries-rock.58046/#ixzz33tt4Kwv9" target="_blank">http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/life-without-sis-is-amazingly-surprisingly-good-boundaries-rock.58046/#ixzz33tt4Kwv9</a></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 628154, member: 1550"] Oh, Scent, you were almost right o the money, except for this: I[I][B]t isn't that we were Pollyannas, MWM. We knew full well what was happening to us, and what our responses were based in. We were not wrong or stupid, MWM. It is just that it didn't work. We are tired, now. We want strong, gentle people in our lives now who love us, people whom we can trust.[/B][/I] I truly kept trying because I thought it was me who was the bad guy. I really bought it. If not, why did my family of origin treat me like a pariah? I learned after my mother died and didn't even do what Joan Crawford did....negatively acknowledge me in her will...at least acknowledging my existence...that I had been so foolish to chase after her like a love starved toddler. I never expected her to be so cold as to cut me out of her will THAT way. I thought she'd at least give me my dollar and say something nasty like Joan. And I think Joan was kinder by doing that, although I have no doubt her children were devastated. But what did I really learn? I learned that I had been foolish with Mother and that you can't change people, but I let Sis abuse me wit her cut offs and cops. And the cops were a really sneaky and constant way she shut me up. If I called and she didn't like my message she made sure I couldn't call her again by making a bogus claim of harassment and the cops would come because they had to and warn me that she doesn't want me to call and that legally I can't. Why did it take me THIS long to ponder how crazy using the cops on your sister is...just to stop her from asking you what is wrong? WHO DOES THAT? Yes, when our difficult children are a danger to us or steal from us we call the cops, but we don't do it in revenge...to make them shut up. It is good, I guess, when we can finally laugh at the dysfunction. I tried telling a few "safe" people about Sis' love of calling the cops to force mt to not contact her...hahaha to me. The safe people did not laugh with me. They were mortified. They did not find it funny. They found it over-the-top appalling. Why didn't I? Anyhow, we are all learning and growing and I appreciate your extremely insightful post to me, Scent. As always, great wisdom there. Read more: [url]http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/life-without-sis-is-amazingly-surprisingly-good-boundaries-rock.58046/#ixzz33tt4Kwv9[/url] [/QUOTE]
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