kt had a wonderful day yesterday until husband asked her to help him cook dinner. It had been planned all day - daddy/daughter time in the kitchen. kt had been looking forward to it. However, husband knowing kt as she does, didn't make a big deal of it. When the time came kt blew! One of those very ugly, somewhat typical for 13, & very obnoxious reactions to a simple request for her presence in the kitchen. After being held "hostage" for 45 minutes - listening to her ranting/raving & how unfair life is....how it's dad's fault because he asked her in a "rude" tone of voice I yelled stop! No more! Believe I got kt's attention because she stopped & stared at me. "Three things Ms. ktbug" 1. You are under the misguided impression that you & daddy are peers. Daddy is the adult here! 2. You are talking (screaming) in a loud & rude voice. You can't even hear yourself. 3. You are being a bully with your words! " Okay, this brought on more tears, yelling, drama (just take me out back & shoot me, mom" ), it's not fair that I was abused (snore heard it before), yada, yada, yada, I don't want to live here - I want a family who loves me. Is anyone seeing a pattern here? Typical teen drama, combined with using her past & mental/emotional disorders as an excuse? Another 45 minutes of this nonsense & I yelled "stop" again. "Ms ktbug", feel free to pick up your cell phone & call mental health CM & let him know that you don't want to live here. Call 911 if you feel you are being abused! However, it won't matter where you live....these reactions & problems will follow you until you start taking what you are learning in therapy & in day treatment & making them a part of you! There is a place inside of you just waiting for those newly learned ideas & skills - it's empty right now, just waiting to be filled, wanting to be filled with all these new skills." If any of you have heard me speak of late, you would know this was a huge effort for me & took a long time. It was a wonder that kt sat & listened. And she heard.....she looked at me & said "really mom?". "Really sweetheart. Waiting - we're all waiting for the real ktbug to make herself known". The rest of the evening was uneventful - kt & husband made a very late dinner (big pot of chili for this cold day). Tasted wonderful. husband & kt spent the rest of the evening working on something on her computer; kt also worked on a gift list for the family & asked for help with how she could earn extra allowance money so she do it. It may last just a day & I'll take it. Gotta love those light bulb moments. Take them as you get them. Record them in a journal someplace, just in case you forget that our difficult children can & do understand.