Like father, like son....a new generation of difficult child

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by muttmeister, Sep 2, 2011.

  1. muttmeister

    muttmeister Well-Known Member

    Five year old grandson started the school year living with me. He was 5 on June 1. Had speech delays and seems not overly brilliant (older sister went to gifted class immediately upon entering kindergarten) but maybe low average. Went to HeadStart 1 year and PAALS two years. Has a speech pathologist and has an IEP for speech and for PE and I'm not sure what else. I thought I had talked mom and dad into having him to to PAALS another year and save real school for next year but at the last minute they decided to send him to kindergarten.

    Sis stayed with me last year for kindergarten school year for several reasons so this one wanted to do the same. I know he is going to need LOTS of help so I agreed. So far (he's had 7 days of school starting today) he's kicked the teacher, called her bad names, tried to hit her, and yesterday tried to cut her face with scissors. He is a cute kid and not like that at home but he sounds impossible at school. Mom has a meeting today to talk to them.

    I've pretty much told them that if this behavior continues he's not going to stay with me. Maybe that sounds mean but I'll be 64 in December, I raised my 2 difficult children, and I'm too old to start on another one.

    Dad is my difficult child#2 - also not a good student and still not an all-round nice person. Mom does the best she can but was raised as "white trash" (I don't mean to put anybody down but that is the closeset I can come to describing her upbringing without writing volumes). She has decided that since they used to beat the stuffing out of her on a regular basis, she will not raise a hand to her kids. I guess it's good she's gone that way instead of repeating history but there's not much discipline there of any kind.

    I was upset about 3 or 4 other things before this all was brought to my attention by a note home from school yesterday. That may be the straw that broke the camel's back. I've had it with the whole bunch of them. Wish I could move and leave no forwarding address.
  2. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    ((Mutt)) I am so sorry for you and sad for that little boy. It is not too late to pull him out of kindergarten and I would try one last ditch effort with mom to do so. There is no harm in placing him back into the PAALs program and give him one more year to mature a bit. I hope they listen. During that year, they can work on his behavior and respecting adults...easier said than done, but by subjecting him to a classroom setting, they are setting him to fail - and not just this year, but each subsequent year as he will always be playing catch up with his peers.

    I held back easy child in 2nd grade for these reasons - not the hitting part - but the constant struggle of keeping up with her peers on all levels, emotionally as well as academically. She just wasn't where they were. It was the best decision I'd ever made on her behalf - she made great strides the second time around and never really had any problems. I wish I had the gumption to go against difficult child's preschool teacher who insisted she was ready for kindergarten. In my heart of hearts, I knew she wasn't and should have held her back the year.

    Sending positive common sense to your daughter in law and strength to you!