Maybe its being sick and Im just overly stressed out but...does anyone else here get completely overwhelmed with fights or arguments to the point that they simply cant deal with it and the first thing you think of is how many pills you have available to end it all? Not that I would actually do it but that is the first place my mind jumps and I shut down instead of fight or argue or even try to have a logical conversation. I end up in this quivering mass of tears huddled somewhere. Im sure a ton of this is my ptsd and my other assorted diagnosis's but it ticks me off to no end that I cant even attempt to have a conversation because if I irritate someone and they yell, I get upset and this happens to me. See...I tend to be pretty lonely at night because Tony goes to bed fairly early and when he hits the bed he falls dead asleep. I go to bed when he does but I cant fall asleep like that. I watch tv and sometimes I try to talk to him and he gets annoyed with me. I just want him to talk to me! He has been gone out of town all week, I have no one to talk to in person my age except my therapist, I dont know anyone else, no one calls me except maybe my kids...and I dont want to talk to my kids! I would really like to talk to someone over 40 or whom I didnt give birth to! He doesnt get it because he has friends and he is around people all day long. Sometimes I really wonder if hanging around is all that great an option. What for?